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    Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless

    I've had MS for many years (diagnosed in 1983). There have been many up and downs, but this last bad relapse has overwhelmed me. A month ago my husband had a second heart attack. We live in northern British Columbia and he was sent by air ambulance to a bigger center. He had 5 stents put in and was sent home. He absolutely refused to have me come with him, and our daughter was with him. The stress of sitting by the phone waiting for a call was so difficult. I thought I was going to lose him. Then two days after Ken came home, our beloved little dog had multiple seizures and died in my arms. (There is no vet available here on weekends.) Then there were some extended family stresses I could do nothing about. No surprise - a week ago I had a big relapse that hit my legs and vision.

    I had 3 days of IV Solumedrol that were difficult (anxiety and panic attacks). Now I'm left with painful muscle spasms in my legs and I feel overwhelmed and hopeless. I tried to talk to my family doctor and was given a prescription for antidepressants. She has never been very supportive and appointments are always rushed. I'm trying to be strong for my husband, but am not sleeping and my legs are hurting. This is so difficult and I don't have anyone to talk to.

    Thank you for listening. Someone please tell me that things will get better.

    Lisa

    #2
    Originally posted by riverlady5783 View Post
    I've had MS for many years (diagnosed in 1983). There have been many up and downs, but this last bad relapse has overwhelmed me. A month ago my husband had a second heart attack. We live in northern British Columbia and he was sent by air ambulance to a bigger center. He had 5 stents put in and was sent home. He absolutely refused to have me come with him, and our daughter was with him. The stress of sitting by the phone waiting for a call was so difficult. I thought I was going to lose him. Then two days after Ken came home, our beloved little dog had multiple seizures and died in my arms. (There is no vet available here on weekends.) Then there were some extended family stresses I could do nothing about. No surprise - a week ago I had a big relapse that hit my legs and vision.

    I had 3 days of IV Solumedrol that were difficult (anxiety and panic attacks). Now I'm left with painful muscle spasms in my legs and I feel overwhelmed and hopeless. I tried to talk to my family doctor and was given a prescription for antidepressants. She has never been very supportive and appointments are always rushed. I'm trying to be strong for my husband, but am not sleeping and my legs are hurting. This is so difficult and I don't have anyone to talk to.

    Thank you for listening. Someone please tell me that things will get better.

    Lisa
    Hi Lisa

    I can't even imagine going through the heartaches and stresses that you have endured during the past month. I feel for you, and am sending healing thoughts your way.

    It seems that for now, you need to take care of yourself, especially getting good sleep. Lack of sleep for those of us with MS can wreak havoc with our physical, mental, and emotional well being.

    Life is a little more tolerable, and doesn't look quite as bad, when we are well rested.

    Did your doctor prescribe anything for your painful leg spasms? I wonder if treating your spasms would then help you to sleep better?

    I do think that things will get better for you. Try to make it a priority to take good care of yourself, ok? Don't be afraid to call your doctor if you need something for the painful spasms.

    Also, feel free to vent as much as you need to! We'll be here to listen.

    Wishing both you and your husband quick recoveries, and hope you feel better each day.

    Take Care
    PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
    ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

    Comment


      #3
      I'm so sorry Lisa. We are here for you anytime you need to vent. Maybe seeing a pt? My pt is the one who helps me a lot with the spasticity and spasms. He also gave me the exercises(stretches) to do at home. Anyone dealing with what you are would be anxious and stressed. It makes the spasms worse. I do know that the stretches get the blood flowing and even doing that can help along with breathing. also try to get some sleep as was previously mentioned.
      Can you maybe switch to a different reg doc? Hope you feel better soon. We're all sending good thoughts. Take Care

      Cindy

      Comment


        #4
        Hi Lisa,
        I'm sorry you have had so many stressful situations lately. Any chance you could find a therapist to help you process all these changes? I'm a big fan of therapy in addition to medication. Please keep us posted.
        He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
        Anonymous

        Comment


          #5
          Lisa,

          I am so sorry to hear all you are going thru. We lost our dog a few months ago. I can't imagine going thru that , while in a relapse, with a husband in the hospital. My heart goes out to you.

          I pray that both you and your husband are feeling better and on your road to recovery.
          Kathy
          DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

          Comment


            #6
            I am so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. I am praying for healing for both yourself and your husband. (hugs) for the loss of your furbaby!.

            Comment


              #7
              Thank you all for your messages of support and suggestions. It truly helps to know that someone is hearing me

              I have a doctors appointment on May 14 and will ask for a referral for physiotherapy then. I have a book of exercises for MS and have been doing some of the stretching ones. It is quite painful, but at least I'm doing something to fight my way back!

              Switching to another family doctor is not an option. Our town is very short of doctors and many people don't have a family doctor and line up at the drop in clinic. My doctor is busy and not very supportive, but at least she is familiar with my medical history.

              I've cried enough - time for me to pull up my socks and get on with things!

              Lisa

              Comment


                #8
                My thoughts and prayers are with you, Lisa. Your many situations, experiences and losses, coupled with living in a somewhat isolated location, in terms of medical services, provides you with many challenges.

                I don't really have any additional advice, other than trying to take care of yourself while you recover from your flare, and trying to reduce stress.

                For me, I have personally found that managing stress, after it occurs, is difficult. Instead, I have tried, as much as possible (and it isn't always possible), to prevent stress. I use techniques such as saying "no" to others when I need to, advocating for my own needs, getting plenty of rest, adding in some pamper-time (whatever restores your spirit -- it's different for us all), finding one or more supportive friends or family members, asking for help when I need it, etc.

                If your husband also needs care, at this point, it sounds like you are unable to provide it. Find someone who can. A friend, a family member, people from your church, a neighbor, etc. Maybe you can make your requests specific, and spread out your requests among many, so as not to over-burden any one person.
                ~ Faith
                MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                (now a Mimibug)

                Symptoms began in JAN02
                - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                .

                - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                Comment


                  #9
                  This post is sort of old. But I'm wondering if you have an update for us, Lisa

                  How are things going?
                  ~ Faith
                  MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                  (now a Mimibug)

                  Symptoms began in JAN02
                  - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                  - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                  .

                  - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                  - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Life is getting better now. I was approved for medical marijuana and take marijuana oil every night. It relaxes the muscle spasms enough for me to sleep. Getting 7-8 hours of sleep at night makes things more positive

                    Lisa

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Glad to hear that things are going better. :-)
                      ~ Faith
                      MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                      (now a Mimibug)

                      Symptoms began in JAN02
                      - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                      - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                      .

                      - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                      - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                      Comment

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