A little depressed this afternoon

[Ant1981]

I am recovering from my first relapse and very pleased with my progress however I am still feeling a bit unhappy that I'm just not myself anymore, I am doing prettying good but I feel that I've been robbed or cheated of my abilities mostly coordination and balance. I'm walking almost like original but I feel I can't make quick movements and do some things that were easier before I got dx.

im just grieving my old self but planning to help along my recovery with things like yoga, get back to weight training...always loved it but now with less weight, swimming aerobics, loved jogging in park and riding bikes, hiking etc...

i can likely do most of those things but feel crappy today I just don't feel myself today. It's been almost 4 months since my six week flare in sept. 2017 I'm regaining a lot but a few things are missing I feel. I have faith that things will continue to improve for months.

how long does recovery take to reach its full potential? Months, years?

i feel violated and vulnerable right now and a little sad 😭

[Marco]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Most of us can relate to where you are. You are grieving and that's completely normal. So don't beat yourself up for being normal.

My best advice would be to find a good grief counselor. I don't know what counseling options you have in Canada, eh? If you attend church, talk to your pastoral care team about options.

Below the main article there is a link for Healthy Grieving:
https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Sy...tional-Changes

Hang in there and I wish you well.

[pennstater]

It's understandable and good to allow yourself to feel down when you are having a rough day. As hard as you are working on your recovery, it's normal to grieve your old self. Even with a full physical recovery, the experience changes us.

Following what is now deemed my first relapse, a year later, and old boyfriend of 4 years broke it off because I wasn't the same person. He was right, it took me 2.5 years to be my old self, minus some cognitive problem that never resolved. But my old personality was back. It wasn't til 13 years later diagnosed. When I look back, it all makes sense now.

Keep working hard, enjoy the good days, but don't beat yourself up on the bad ones. I've seen people post quick full recoveries, others prolonged, and others, that have to adapt to changes. Unfortunately, no crystal ball.

[Tawanda]

I have been following your posts for awhile. I can tell you that if I documented my thought/panic/grief/hope process at the beginning (diagnosed in 2004) it would have sounded very much like yours.

I think for every two steps forward towards acceptance, there was the one step backward. There is a part of me that will NEVER accept MS until it has been deleted from the planet.

MS is not the only life-changing event on the planet. There are divorces, births, ending of jobs, new jobs, moves, other health crises, children leaving the nest, on and on and on.

I look at my 16 year old with so much health, strength, life and vitality, and I know that she won't have all that forever. I doubt she knows that. I didn't look ahead much when I was young and maybe I still don't. Corny as it sounds, one day at a time my friend. Grieve your diagnosis a bit at a time as is normal, but then try like heck to make the most of the hand you were dealt. You have a lot of good things ahead of you.

[pennstater]

Same for me in 2006Tawanda! How true.

"I have been following your posts for awhile. I can tell you that if I documented my thought/panic/grief/hope process at the beginning (diagnosed in 2004) it would have sounded very much like yours."

[Fishytrout]

I am sorry you are depressed/very down. Please know that with a diagnosis of a life altering illness such as MS you will go thru the Grieving Process. This includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Don't beat yourself up about it but know that you will have them, they may come and go but recognize and know that this is normal.