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    Crazy or not?

    I will try to make this as short as possible, but it’s a long story. Back in my teens I used methamphetamine which caused me to have problems with psychosis ( breaks from reality). I was diagnosed with psychosis “not otherwise specified” because I didn’t fit the mold for any other mental illness.


    Fast forward to the age of 21, I had been clean for over a year. I went on a long road trip and when I got out of the car, my arms and legs were so stiff they were painful to extend. I figured it was due to the amount of time I spent in the car. As I tried to stretch it out, it only got worse. I ended up assuming a very spastic position. I remember laughing as I walked like a T-Rex although i was in pain. I called my psychiatrist, concerned that it might be due to a side effect of medication I was taking. He told me “that sounds like spasticity” and if I got a headache or was dizzy to go to the ER. This lasted for two or three days and went away. This story I omitted from my neurologist because for nearly 12 years I assumed it was due to my meds.


    I’ve had problems with brain fog, fatigue, spacing out, and other minor things since. But that could all be explained by my medication.


    My next major problem happened when I was 28. I was under major stress and working two jobs to make ends meet. I remember waking and falling out of bed straight to the ground. I couldn’t move or feel both legs for a period of about 5 to 10 minutes. I was weirded out, but didn’t seek medical treatment cause after that I was fine.


    When I was 30 I was under great stress. Work was demanding and I had a newborn baby girl who wouldn’t let me sleep. I was working when a great deal of anxiety came over me and all of a sudden I went in to slow motion. Very normal movements became extremely difficult and required all of my mental capacity. Couldn’t do any math or reading and found it difficult to talk and carry on a conversation. I went to the hospital and they thought I was having a stroke. Did a CT scan and came back with nothing. They referred me to a neurologist who basically said it must be stress. I disclosed that my mother has MS and he thought for a bit and stood firm on his decision. I got better in about 3 weeks and thought it had to be due to stress.


    At age 32, again in stress at a new job I developed pain in my face on my right side. Mainly in my teeth. Dentist said my teeth were fine and said sometimes nerves can cause pain there. I fought cold after cold and eventually developed pneumonia. After I got better, I donated blood to the local blood bank. After about 2 weeks I got a letter from them saying I had tested positive for HTLV. But the confirmatory test was unreadable. They offered me to come in and retest to clear this matter up. I did and the retest came back with the same results. Talk about anxiety overload. I followed up with my PCP with a PCR test and confirmed that I was HTLV NEGATIVE. That was a relief. I was suspicious as to why my blood tested so funky. Upon looking online I found that it can be caused by an autoimmune disease. Anxiety cranked back into gear. I began excessive worrying that I might have MS. The pain in my teeth had started happening on both sides now and come to find out it may be trigeminal neuralgia. I consulted with another neurologist who did numerous tests on me including an MRI with and without contrast of brain and cervical spine. The MRI came back completely clear but I have an abnormal EEG and abnormal eye reflexes on VAT. She just said that my problems were because I was overweight and out of shape.


    Shortly after coming to terms with this. I was working and became very dizzy and went to see my PCP. Who couldn’t figure out why. But said if it gets worse go to the ER. Low and behold I find myself in the ER with the doctor saying he doesn’t know why and it’s probably anxiety. I was constantly dizzy this whole period. I got to work the next day my salad dressing on my lunch (blue cheese) tasted like sour cream and various other taste changes throughout the day. I go home, go to bed and on rising I feel the worst ever. My ring finger starts moving by itself. But I go to work anyway. I’m so bad at work that I can’t drive and call my wife to take me to the neuro. I tell her my symptoms and she thinks it’s a migraine. Until I said I’ve been button mashing the keyboard. Her whole demeanor changes and starts doing tests on me and concludes I had a stroke. Sent me in for another MRI. Guess what, completely clear. She refers me to physical therapy. Which at this time I have a break in reality (psychosis) and fear the doctors are out to diagnose me with somatoform disorder. I cut ties with everyone except my psychiatrist and PCP. And start to believe this is all in my head.


    Now I’m in a place where I still think I do have MS. But have very little objective evidence to support me. If you’ve managed to read my whole story please let me know what you think. Especially if you have a similar story. I would love advice on how to handle this. Should I wait and see if something big happens again. Should I push the issue with my PCP. I have no clue what to do. Am I crazy or what?

    #2
    Sounds familiar

    I've never done meth. However, starting when I was in my mid teens, I huffed gas. By my late teens I was smoking marijuana as well as cigarettes. And drinking alcohol.

    Explaining that to my neuro at 27 was probably not my best move. Shrinks at about that age were one thing, but I underestimated how much different the neuro would be. I hadn't huffed in several years, but the active lesion on an MRI wasn't much of a thing. To limbo I went.

    Anyway, your story sounded similar to mine. Thought I'd share to maybe wave you away from some pitfalls.

    Comment


      #3
      The more complicated a medical history is, the more variables that come into play. So prior diagnosis and medications become important.

      With a clear MRI, you won't get a diagnosis of MS. And MS can be so variable for each person, so there may not be alot of similarity in presentation always.

      I would work with your psychiatrist/therapist on stress/anxiety reduction strategies. These will come in handy whether MS eventually shows on the MRIs or not. It is true anxiety and stress can cause many physical problems. So managing that better would help eliminate these as causes.
      Kathy
      DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

      Comment


        #4
        Thank you both for your replies. I do plan to get my anxiety under control, and reassess my situation later. Maybe in a year or 2. Despite suffering from psychosis I do have a pretty strong mind. My friend who is a clinical psychologist doesn’t think it’s psychogenic. He says that until evidence comes about, it will just be idiopathic. It’s just frustrating that we don’t get answers. I can sympathize with everyone here who has unexplained problems. Docs tell us to calm down but it’s easy for them to say, it’s not happening to them.

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