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    In the bedroom

    How do people on here cope with the effects of MS on bedroom 'activities'? I don't know whether it's the dose of Gabapentin I'm on (1800 mg/day), fatigue or something that's gone wrong with the wiring, but I have zero interest in this department. This is complicated by the fact that sometimes I am completely numb 'down there'.

    As you can imagine, this is a bone of contention in my marriage. My husband has recently told me that we are totally incompatible in that department. I am deeply hurt and upset by this. I do try to make an effort but I obviously don't make enough of an effort to keep him happy. I also can't help but feel somewhat resentful about his lack of understanding of my perspective.

    #2
    I have to say, his lack of understanding would be more of a turn off than the physical issues, for me personally. I know in my current flare, one of the main symptoms has been skin numbness, which also affects down there as well. My boyfriend just had to work a little harder. He was and has been completely understanding about the physical changes I am dealing with at the moment. I would have a chat with your husband about it. See if you can explain to him its not your fault and that making you feel resentful is only going to make things worse. You need understanding and compassion, not guilt and pressure.

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      #3
      Hi Poppy I am sure your husband does understand how you feel but it is very difficult.
      With MS we don't seem to have our symptoms on show, what I mean is we don't have a broken arm or bleeding somewhere

      so we have to try and explain how we feel and it is hard to be interested in bedroom activities if you feel numb and un responsive. I am a man and have my own set of problems down there but we have managed to work our way around these and what we have found is it is some drugs just don't work in the real life they may make you feel better one way but not work in another

      for example one of the drugs I was on I couldn't reach a climax everything else worked but no end result, (I told my Dr this that it felt like we at it for days he said half your luck, my reply was but after a few days my wife gets the ****s)
      I guess what I'm trying to say is MS effects the family, couple not just one, I have no answers for you but wish you luck and he does understand just not all of it Craig

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        #4
        Thank you for your very thoughtful replies. On reflection, I think on my part there is a fair bit of depression going on at the moment due to my feeling absolutely snowed under by what's going on around me.

        We are living every parent's worst nightmare with one of our daughters due to a disclosure she's made to us about being suicidal and something that happened to her, so we're heavily involved with the Police investigating whether we can get this to court, my father is displaying behaviours that I think may be the onset of dementia and I'm worried he's going to hit my mum (he never has before) and then there's my health. I feel like one more thing and I'll just topple over the edge into an abyss.

        Time for some counselling I think.

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          #5
          In the bedroom

          Hi Poppy7202,

          I take a larger dosage and don't have any problems. I'm sorry that your husband doesn't understand, but please don't be resentful. Maybe someone else, maybe a counselor or someone, could talk to him and try to have him be more receptive to your MS and your concerns.

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