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    My last MRI?

    Laying down inside the tight tube of the MRI machine, with my head imobilized inside a plastic cage, I watched through the tiny mirror just over my head as the technicians in another room preparaed the computers for my MRI. While I was waiting, I thought about what the nurse told me while I was getting dressed for the MRI, she said, "this is your 12th MRI with us." I had four MRI's previous to coming to this clinic, therefore I was now about to experience my sixteenth MRI in twenty-three years.

    As I watched the technitians, I caculated that I have had one MRI about every 11.6 months over those many years. And I remembered that all those MRIs had bee virtualy clean. The only lesions that were ever found were "too tiny" and did not corelate with my MS symptoms (of which there have been many). While I has having these thoughts I was holding on to the soft plastic emergency plunger with a cord that ran out to the technicians. And when I pressed the emergency plunger, it was not because I was having a claustriphobic attack, but because I was tired and I could not take it anymore.

    #2
    Funny ... I wrote later about this topic to a friend with the ending, "I will just have to postpone MRI number sixteen untill another day." I was too abrupt in how I ended the orginal, above; I like this new endeding better.

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      #3
      Hi driftless and welcome to MSWorld

      And when I pressed the emergency plunger, it was not because I was having a claustriphobic attack, but because I was tired and I could not take it anymore.
      I found the above quote interesting. Tired, meaning fatigued or tired of dealing with the disease? You couldn't take what? Being in the MRI machine?

      she said, "this is your 12th MRI with us." I had four MRI's previous to coming to this clinic, therefore I was now about to experience my sixteenth MRI in twenty-three years
      You have been diagnosed with MS for Twenty-Three years?

      The written word is easily misunderstood and I am just looking for clarification --- if you don't mind
      Diagnosed 1984
      “Lightworkers aren’t here to avoid the darkness…they are here to transform the darkness through the illuminating power of love.” Muses from a mystic

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        #4
        Hi Driftless,

        To me it sounds like your just tired of everything. Did you finish the MRI? and have follow up with doc?

        I've had ms for over 32years now and have lost count how many MRI"S i've had or other tests, treatments etc . It can become a huge blur of medical apts etc that we don't get the chance, or experience the desire to live life. It feels like we are constantly at war ( with ourselves sometimes).

        This can result in the overwelming desire to just quit all this and live as best we can.
        I think we would all be able to identify with this . and many have done it , including me, hoping for the best.

        If this is where your at , at this point in your life, then i don't think it would impact greatly on your health if you took a break from it all. Sometimes our attitude to living is more important than a few tests or treatments and deserves some effort to get back on track.

        You will know when to get back to the medical pros- the first time some symptom comes and bites you on the butt is generally the time we refocus.

        Good luck with everything and i hope it helped to share your feelings.
        Caroline.

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