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Aging with MS - Member Topic for March

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    Aging with MS - Member Topic for March

    Your Member Topic for March is here!
    You made suggestions and we listened!

    Thanks to all who participated in February's Member Topic of the Month!

    ***AGING WITH MS CARRIES WITH IT A WHOLE NEW SET OF ISSUES!
    HOW DO OTHERS COPE WITH THIS DOUBLE WHAMMY?***

    Please join us in this important conversation on ways you have coped with MS and aging or aged well with MS. Your thoughts and concerns on this topic are always welcomed.

    Thank you all for your participation and stay tuned for more of your suggestions in the months to come! We appreciate all your thoughtful ideas and hope to hear more from you! You can add more suggestions here: http://www.msworld.org/forum/showthr...TH-suggestions!
    1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
    Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

    #2
    One day at a time!

    Well, it's too late to plan for old age and time to live it. We are in some cases reaping what we sowed in terms of self care (diet, exercise, etc.) financial planning or lack there of, and benefiting or not from relationships that we have invested in, etc.

    It is a balance of managing emotionally our achievements, regrets, sometime seeing our best made plans derailed or destroyed. The things we invested most in, not giving any positive results and then you add in MS.

    I try to remember that even when things are bad, they could be worse. When things are good, I try to be thankful and linger in that moment. A sense of humor is extremely important, especially when even your doctor can't tell you if a symptom is MS or the aging process.

    I am taking more seriously the things that I am in control over, like exercising and eating better, because I know that in ten years these will be part of the "good years" gone by and I want to know that I used my abilities and my time wisely. I think our emotional health becomes more important, because how we look at and live our circumstances have a great impact on how we feel. One day at a time, with a side of Humor, faith and looking at days like these as a gift, even when I don't have the answers due to my MS or aging brain is how I'm managing MS and aging.

    I will be eager to learn what IS working for others and what they have learned along the way.

    Comment


      #3
      Tia1-- I love your post and I will take it to heart as I have just turned 65.

      I do try to keep exercising I think it is important to keep moving, young or old. I do try to laugh a lot because I don't want to be old and bitter. Having ms and now having arthritis in my knee and elbow it gets rough but I push myself to do things with my family, like taking vac., going to the lake and camp and trips to the beach although it is hard on me physically, mentally it keeps me optimistic. I will keep my faith in God and keep hope alive. That is what gets me thru the years with this awful disease.
      God Bless Us All

      Comment


        #4
        I am 69 and never worried about aging as my family on both sides are/were healthy and had longevity. Except for my mother who died at 71. She had MS.

        I was dx 4 years ago but had symptoms for at least 10 years before that but nothing major. Now I can't drive, I use a cane, and have other issues that are side effects of the meds I take, etc. and I feel most of this is a result of MS.

        I still walk as much as I can sometimes 2 or 3 miles in a day. Though I am dizzy and have bad balance I make myself go out with my son twice a week which entails getting a tram to the train station and getting a train to meet him halfway between his place and mine (we live in Italy). Many times I don't feel like it but I go anyway.

        How much is age? I really don't know so what I have to do is not fret about WHAT is causing it but do my very best to keep going as long as I possibly can.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Tia1 View Post
          Well, it's too late to plan for old age and time to live it. We are in some cases reaping what we sowed in terms of self care (diet, exercise, etc.) financial planning or lack there of, and benefiting or not from relationships that we have invested in, etc.

          It is a balance of managing emotionally our achievements, regrets, sometime seeing our best made plans derailed or destroyed. The things we invested most in, not giving any positive results and then you add in MS.

          I try to remember that even when things are bad, they could be worse. When things are good, I try to be thankful and linger in that moment. A sense of humor is extremely important, especially when even your doctor can't tell you if a symptom is MS or the aging process.

          I am taking more seriously the things that I am in control over, like exercising and eating better, because I know that in ten years these will be part of the "good years" gone by and I want to know that I used my abilities and my time wisely. I think our emotional health becomes more important, because how we look at and live our circumstances have a great impact on how we feel. One day at a time, with a side of Humor, faith and looking at days like these as a gift, even when I don't have the answers due to my MS or aging brain is how I'm managing MS and aging.

          I will be eager to learn what IS working for others and what they have learned along the way.
          I also love your post.

          Like you, I try to exercise and eat well. Our Wellness forum has weekly threads for both exercise and weight loss (or weight maintenance); posting in those regularly helps to keep me accountable to myself and others. Some strategies for eating well include limiting gluten because of some intolerances, making green smoothies almost daily for breakfast, and cutting back on one of my biggest vices -- Diet Dr. Pepper.

          It's also important to cultivate relationships. Good relationships contribute to our happiness and our health. I skype with my daughter and her family about once a week. I keep in touch with my dad regularly and try to keep in touch with my siblings. I work at my relationship with my husband, because good marriages require work. I cultivate relationships with my church friends and my small group. I plan an occasional movie night at my house with a few friends. I volunteer in my church and my community. Etc.

          I also try to "manage" my life. I like the way you worded it -- managing our achievements and our regrets. I also work diligently at "managing" stress. Actually, I'm not sure that I'm very good at managing stress, once it has occurred; I tend to work more at preventing stress prior to it occurring. Learning what to say "yes" to and what to say "no" to has been a fairly successful strategy for me.

          Like others, I can't always discern when a symptom is due to the natural aging process, or due to my MS disease process. Partly, of course, because my "natural" aging process isn't the same for me as for those who are not dealing with a chronic illness.

          Healthy aging involves so many aspects.
          ~ Faith
          MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
          (now a Mimibug)

          Symptoms began in JAN02
          - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
          - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
          .

          - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
          - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

          Comment


            #6
            I think my biggest problem is my husband questioning any new symptom I may have as just part of the aging process. It is hard to tell if a problem is an MS issue, or old age issue. Anyone else?
            Brenda
            Adversity gives you two choices in life: either let it make you bitter, or let it make you better! I choose the latter.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by 4boysmom View Post
              I think my biggest problem is my husband questioning any new symptom I may have as just part of the aging process. It is hard to tell if a problem is an MS issue, or old age issue. Anyone else?
              Yup; hard to tell. For our loved ones, even for ourselves. And, it may often sort of be a combination. Like, if my fatigue is getting worse, for example, it might be because I am getting older, not because my MS is progressing. But, it's difficult to separate those when I'm comparing from a different place. Starting from a different place.

              Answers don't come easily.
              ~ Faith
              MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
              (now a Mimibug)

              Symptoms began in JAN02
              - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
              - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
              .

              - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
              - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

              Comment


                #8
                EXHAUSTED

                Finally, the topic of aging with MS!
                I am 67 and whoever said aging isn't for sissies should have also had MS. Aging with MS definitely isn't for sissies!
                Thankfully I have a primary care physician who is very Understanding and works with me on every new problem with my aging and my MS, as it arises; for now my hypertension combined with my MS. The hypertension drug I take (the only one that works for me) knocks me out as does my MS and so I am sleeping 3 and 4 days out of 5, I am, literally, sleeping my life away!
                My primary care physician and I are currently trying different therapies to address my extreme fatigue.
                If you are an 'elderly' or an aging MSer, you have my heart and hang in there.
                Penny

                Comment


                  #9
                  Hi,
                  I can empathise with most sentiments already posted.

                  For me aging can be compared to other challenges I've had in the past.
                  When I was pregnant i would hear of others who were expecting too but they were swimming lapse and doing aerobics. And i'd feel judged for only being able to cope(maybe ) with house work.
                  Even walking with a limp when young I was constantly asked "what had I done?" At least as I get older these types of queries are lessening - its just expected apparently.

                  Though I still experience the "oh I do that too" from friends and family when they try and reassure or explain away something of concern to me as just to do with getting older. They mean well but it feels like 'I' am being dismissed along with my concerns. Then you have those in their 90s who run marathons. Sorry but I haven't been able to do that since I was a small child.
                  Accepting what is possible but regularly 'trying' to achieve/do more to test my limits is something that I find rewarding and self satisfying.
                  All the best.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Oh and don't look in the mirror!!!
                    Mirrors should be banned from everywhere anyone over forty may encounter them.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      MS and aging are so similar

                      I am 69 in 1 month and often see the similarity between things. Take MS. Just like aging there is no cure (death??). Aging and MS are progressive. Aging and MS often lead to disabilities or unique challenges. When you are both, who knows??
                      For me, aging and MS have sort of moved along similarly. I've had 26 years to get used to having one thing after another taken away/change. I've watched others, often much younger, lose an ability/function instantly and struggle with coping.
                      All in all, I've a great life. Are there things I would have, should have, maybe wished I had done differently? Sure it's called living. I am blessed with a wonderful husband with a great sense of humor. It took me three times to get it right, I've been married twice before, but this is a man I have known since I was 17 years old and has been there every step of my life and MS journey.
                      My young adult granddaughter said those marrages weren't goofs, nor mistakes,(10 years, 17 years), it was like trying on clothes that didn't fit right so I persisted until i found the right one who was there all the time. Aging&MS both resulted in who I am today and the life I have now. I'd much rather focus on that.
                      Elinor Roosevelt said it best, "The past is gone, the future not here yet, today is now, that is why they call it the PRESENT".
                      Cheryl

                      Comment


                        #12
                        getting older with grace - or at least trying.....

                        I got a big kick out of the mirror comment!

                        Like many of you have mentioned, it's not always easy to tell if something going on is a new symptom or if it's just aging. Over the years, I've had doctors do both. One attributes everything to MS and another refused to believe MS can do that! Pain was a good example. I had a doc tell me that MS did not cause pain and another attributed every pain to MS so I never really got great resolution. But I did get new doctors! Very annoying.

                        I was dx'd at 14, I'm now 54 so I'm pretty familiar with myself and sometimes, I'm still questioning whether it's one or the other! I'm just thankful that I can still work, my kids are okay, and I'll handle the rest as it comes.

                        I can't stop time and I can't cure MS so in the long run, I'll have to deal with both anyway. I plan on going down kicking and screaming....

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Nice Topic I like it!

                          Good to have this discussion. I was already moving into being a senior when I was diagnosed at age 54. I really did not expect it, even though my daughter at age 20 was diagnosed three years before me. No one else in my family had ever been diagnosed with MS as far as I know. (I have no siblings.) I did not have any symptoms like some do. I learned after my diagnosis from the internet (not from my neurologist!) that I had mild "MS hugs" hugs for some time which were mild but I and my internist thought they were just muscle contractions and nothing to worry about.

                          After a bout of transverse myelitis that I woke up with on one morning, I knew right away I would be diagnosed with MS because that was my daughter's first major symptom. A couple MRI's later it was confirmed. I will be 69 in three days. I have been on Copaxone for 11 years. I wonder if I can get off of MS meds someday. I don't seem to have progressive MS at all. I don't have a lot of symptoms mostly OAB and stress incontinence and I do question if this is due to aging or MS or both. I have problems recalling names and some event details, but my husband is now 71 and he complains of the same thing-he does not have MS. Memorization is a problem for me since I was younger; it is just worse now. I may have had lesions long before diagnosis, (and two spinal lesions) but I had no clue. When I was diagnosed there were a number of brain lesions but none were active. I've only had those MRI's at diagnosis and none since. My neurologist says no reason because at this point he would not change anything.

                          Reading some of the comments here, I know I am not doing a lot of things that I could, but I have to say I just am not motivated. I don't exercise. I don't have pets anymore (they all passed away from old age) so I don't walk much. I know I should, just can't force myself. I was never much for exercise most of my life, but I did so for many years while my children were growing up. Then came my first computer and that ended it. I have kept my weight down on a low carb lifestyle and I take lots of vitamins. I'm disorganized in my house, but then I probably always was, but it is worse now.

                          I do sing. I recently helped organize a benefit for MSAA local association. Somedays I would wake up in the morning and say to myself why am I doing this? But in the long run it turned out to be a wonderful program and now I've been asked to lead the national anthem at the next MS walk. I sing as a cantorial soloist, and once I get there, I'm glad I did, but I don't always feel like continuing. I'm just not as energetic and motivated and I don't know if this is MS, Aging, or just me.

                          I don't enjoy getting older. I have five adult children all out of the house as of last week and all living pretty far away ( and I'm not up for traveling except now and then we visit our closest son who is a day's drive away, and everyone else is a plane ride away and I'm not enthusiastic about that.) At least three of my children have autoimmune problems which I've read is typical of MS relatives.
                          I've read other posts here and I relate so much, so I am glad to have this topic available.

                          [COLOR="Navy"]** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **[COLOR]

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I will be 68 next month and had my first MS sx when I was 40. Then diagnosed at 50. Great birthdays, huh? At that time there were only the ABC drugs and once in awhile I think of the possibilities of a better outcome if there were better drugs for us as opposed to now. I am now SP and getting along just OK. I agree that aging with MS can be confusing as to what causes what.

                            I mentioned this awhile back here that my PCP once made a comment that I had a "leg up" on aging. I was aging must faster than my healthy peers, so when they all reached the aging process, I would have already "been there, done that". Great to hear

                            So, yes, they are catching up with me. We all have aches and pains, wrinkles and gray hair, joints creaking, sagging body parts, memory problems, but they all can still walk with ease, dress themselves easily, lift heavier weights and go about very independently. Am I jealous? Sometimes, but I find myself able to accept better where I am on this journey of living. I do know that aging with MS has enabled me to be a more compassionate and empathetic person. I also am more thankful for so many blessing.

                            What really helps me is our strong family bond. 5 kids with spouses and 7 grands. The babies keep me in delight! Another thing that helps is my sense of humor. Laughing and joking really is the best medicine.

                            My mom is 94, has severe cognitive problems, but has a keen sense of humor. We call and talk to each other at least 2-3 times/wk. Here is a typical conversation:

                            Mom: Oh, I got the card you sent me!
                            Me: What card? I can't remember.
                            Mom: The one you sent me.
                            Me: What was it for?
                            Mom: Well, I can't remember either, but it was funny. (Here we break into giggles)

                            She has been a great role model for me. So, we laugh our way into aging. It's so much better than complaining and crying about it!

                            PS - Mirrors don't scare me. I even laugh at myself looking in the mirror and see the face that looks more and more like my mom.
                            1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
                            Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Aging with MS

                              Great topic, at least for me. I just celebrated that BIG birthday last month, meaning 70. Scary! How did that happen? Wasn't I just 45 recently? I was officially diagnosed in 2001 but had symptoms since I was 41 in 1988. Initially all symptoms resolved for 13 years until they came back with a vengeance in 2001. However, I consider myself fortunate and am dealing with this disease better than most, I believe. I think it is because I have a very supportive husband who is a health care provider himself and I have 2 adult married children and 4 lovely granddaughters. My kids live about 2 hours away so I do not see them all the time, possibly once a month which works for me.

                              I go to an MS physical therapy facility twice a week, I tutor an ESL student, I belong to 2 book clubs. Would I like to do more? Would I like to see my grandchildren more often? Would I like to be more active? Sure to all of the above but I try to focus on all that I can do, not all that I can't do. Seems to work for me. Sometimes I do get down when I can't do what some friends can do as I was always very active and busy. I miss working but I do realize how fortunate I am. I am not in a lot of pain; I would call it chronic discomfort but nothing that stops me from enjoying life. I do travel with my husband but know that I could not manage without all that he does for me. So, basically, I am happy and hope that all you other seniors are deriving all the pleasure you can from life. Good Luck to all!

                              Comment

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