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    Forgetfulness

    Today, my fiancée came home and was upset because I promised the night before that I was going to make dinner. Not only did I not remember to make dinner, I don't even remember the conversation, nor do I remember what happened yesterday, for the most part.

    Most days are fine, but some days are really bad for my memory, and I end up forgetting everything, unless I write it down. I've been writing down the really important stuff since even before I was diagnosed. I started writing things in my phone, and then started putting alarms on the events, because I'd forget to look at the notes I wrote. Even so, sometimes I just assume I'll remember, and forget anyway.

    How do I explain to someone without MS that some days are "forgetful" days, and it happens sometimes? My fiancée is just like my dad, or anyone else without MS; she is just disappointed and doesn't understand how I could forget something like that.

    I feel really bad for not making dinner, but I also feel bad for forgetting in the first place, which is basically feeling bad for having MS, which really isn't my fault in the first place. Thanks for any responses.

    #2
    Originally posted by Isaacthegamer View Post
    ...Not only did I not remember to make dinner, I don't even remember the conversation, nor do I remember what happened yesterday, for the most part.

    How do I explain to someone without MS ; she is just disappointed and doesn't understand how I could forget something like that.

    ... I feel really bad for not making dinner, but I also feel bad for forgetting in the first place, which is basically feeling bad for having MS, which really isn't my fault in the first place. Thanks for any responses.
    I have cognitive problems also. Very frustrating! My husband has tried so hard to understand some of the things that MS causes in my life, but knowing that he cant really understand he has attempted to accept that is simply the way that things are ...

    We had attended an MS couples retreat several years ago, and that helped him understand what I live with daily more than anything that I could have said to him. If there is a support group around that may be a way to "introduce" your fiance to "your world".

    Last October he had a brain hemorrhage - was dx'ed with an AVM. He is still out of work and going through various treatments - the next one is scheduled for later this week. But because of the AVM he is now suffering from the forgetfulness, the loss of finding the correct words, the confusion and with sensory overload that I have complained about for years . He said that he doesn't like "my world" ...
    I am hopeful that after the AVM is corrected that he will regain his cognitive functions .

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      #3
      Hello Isaccthegamer,

      I can relate to your forgetfulness. I have note pads and pens all over the house, if I wait to write something down I will forget it. I know this can be so frustrating.

      I have quilt sometimes too but I keep telling myself I did not give myself ms and neither did you.

      I hope your fiancée will understand in time.
      God Bless Us All

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        #4
        Hi,
        This is my main hurdle.
        On the outside i look almost 'normal' but inside i'm a dementia like mess.
        This has impacted on my ability to earn, have relationships and generally everything.
        I even find it confusing when some one puts something away 'in the wrong place' and get frustrated and cranky because i have asked them not to do these kind of things.
        They (family) just don't understand.

        Yep we can't just assume we will remember- loud phone alarms with what the alarm is for- are essential. I'm trying to do this with everything and the more routine this becomes the easier it gets.
        My husband is slowly coming around to being more patient with my lapses.
        I believe that because he has gone to the last several neuro apts with me and my memory and brain atrophy issues were discussed extensively between the 3 of us he has a better understanding of issues in general.
        hope this helps.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by REG53 View Post
          Hello Isaccthegamer,

          I can relate to your forgetfulness. I have note pads and pens all over the house, if I wait to write something down I will forget it. I know this can be so frustrating.
          This is me in a nutshell!! pens and paper, calendar by my desk, kitchen and pocket one too. I also have reminders on my phone for really important things. My husband has been with me every step of the way and for years my cognitive ability was fine or so-so fine. Not now, but he finally really gets it. He will even finish sentences for me and pull words out when I forget a noun. It used to bother me, but now I'm grateful as it saves me from embarrassment around others.

          You might consider speaking with you neuro about getting a psychological evaluation where they determine where your strengths and weaknesses lay. Many will help you find ways to address your weaknesses and give you tools to help alleviate the problems.

          As far as your fiance goes, if there is love and patience abounding, they will learn and so will you. Speak honestly and openly about this problem. This article from the NMSS will help as you read it together http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Sym...nitive-Changes

          Hang in there MS friend!
          1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
          Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

          Comment


            #6
            My cell phone is my reminder.

            I use the calendar, notepad, and clock alarm.

            The calendar has birthday, anniversaries, and important events, of course, but I add in dinners, social events, watching the grand children and more.

            I use the note pad for book titles, web pages, reminders with info from conversations: web pages, movie titles, grocery lists, measurements for furniture, someones shirt size,and so on. I do have a weekly/monthly PAPER calendar with more detail, and the cell notes are often added to it, but the cell phone is always in my pocket!

            The clock alarm is set for one time reminders, and recurring events. Sometimes I get involved in a project or book, and the clock is my reminder to put things away and get ready to go somewhere, or prepare something.

            Concerning forgetfulness, I have to question sometimes if my problem is that I forget, or if I am a poor listener. It is these "invisible" symptoms that drive the people around me crazy.

            It does not help when plans are changed two or three times to meet others schedules, and I did not receive the latest update. I can pull out the calendar or show a text to defend myself! LOL

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              #7
              I have much forgetfulness. Crazy but the more I get upset about it the less I can remember. Oh MS you are so cruel. I do same as all of you. I use paper calender, set alarms, write notes and have my partner try to remind me, but in the end I still have MS and it takes much of my memory away. I implore you to speak with your Neuro to see if your MRI shows any atrophy. That may also explain what is going on.
              Peace to all,
              LM
              RRMS 11/11/2005, SPMS 20011 (guess I 'graduated')

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