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What's Left of My Rope is Getting Very Short

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    What's Left of My Rope is Getting Very Short

    Anybody else here getting physically very "old" really fast? At least it feels really fast to me!

    Finally a little over a year ago I found a small place to rent that isn't a dilapidated dump like the last place I lived for almost 6 years. I was so excited to have a place that I can hopefully be in until (if) I can't take care of myself with a small sunny front yard to play in.

    I should have known a happily ever after wasn't in store for me. Oh the house is still mine, it's my health that took a big smelly crap. Now I'm nearly housebound and almost can't get off the 2 step porch- unless it happens that I fall off which is about the only catastrophe that hasn't happened yet!

    As if ms isn't enough now I appear to be having heart issues following an ER trip last June of '15 (if I'm getting the dates right) which turned out to be pneumonia and sepsis. Suddenly following that my blood readings were reflecting various organ problems (duh- sepsis, hadn't thought about it) but by the time I got into the specialists those issues appeared to have resolved. Then when moving a chair I thought my leg had shattered, went to ER with a blown up leg that I couldn't put any weight on and they thought it was fractures also but it wasn't showing on x-ray. They could see the obvious swelling but sent me home with pain pills, crutches and told to see my PCP. Turns out it wasn't fractured at all. Three weeks later I thought I was having a panic attack but the 2.5 valium I take didn't fix it so back to ER. It had been a massive blood clot. A piece broke off and went into my left lung. Differing opinions are 2 Docs say it was from the chair incident and 1 says no way would it have gotten that big that fast, it had to have already been there and the chair thing knocked it around and loosened it up which is why I would have had such extreme pain and the sedentary behavior (ER instructions mind you) is likely why a bit broke off and traveled. That was another 5 day hospital stay that was the stay of nightmares!

    So now I see I was dx with angina and need to get a TEE- not going to try to spell it but its a camera down your throat to get a backside view of the heart, I already did the arterial one.

    I'm just so bloody tired of being poked and prodded and dinked around!

    I guess this is just an overwhelmed rant. I thought I was doing so well when the neuro was excited to tell me that I have no "brain shrinkage". Great ay? So my brain will be intact when I blow an artery.

    Thanks for the opportunity to vent. Please pardon the bit of sick sarcasm.

    #2
    Hi WillyNilly

    Sounds like you have quite a bit of stuff to deal with besides MS - not fair!

    Just want to wish you the best, and hope you get through all the poking, prodding, and dinking real soon. And most important - some relief from health issues.

    Take Care
    PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
    ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

    Comment


      #3
      I am sorry you have been so sick. Being tired is an understatement considering what you have been thru.

      I once read, "when you get to the end of your rope tie a knot in it and hang on".

      I said a prayer for you and I hope you feel better soon.
      God Bless Us All

      Comment


        #4
        Thanks for the kind words gals.

        Hey REG53, I'm afraid if I knot my rope it will be with a noose attached- I'll be hanging on with my neck

        Let me qualify that- I tend to have a sarcastic, some would say "sick" sense of humor. Especially when it has to do with myself. NO I am not suicidal.

        I AM questioning why other people believe "they" have the right to deny us our own method of death- but NO, I absolutely do not want to die.

        In fact I'm quite terrified that it may be sooner than later and not by choice.

        Comment


          #5
          Me again. If we have any pray-ers here, and I know we do- please pray for me today.

          One of my kids is due to pick me up in about 3 hours to get me to that procedure. Check in at 6am, T.E.E. at 8am. Obviously I'm not sleeping.

          I think I'll check out netflix for an animal documentary.

          Thank you.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by WillyNilly View Post
            Me again. If we have any pray-ers here, and I know we do- please pray for me today.

            One of my kids is due to pick me up in about 3 hours to get me to that procedure. Check in at 6am, T.E.E. at 8am. Obviously I'm not sleeping.

            I think I'll check out netflix for an animal documentary.

            Thank you.
            WillyNilly

            Thoughts and prayers have been sent your way. Wishing you all the best.

            Keep us informed, ok?

            Take Care
            PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
            ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

            Comment


              #7
              Praying for you too, WillyNilly during this scary time. Please let us know how it's going
              1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
              Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

              Comment


                #8
                Hi WillyNilly,

                I'm sorry you've been dealing with all this, and am also praying for you.
                Kimba

                “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ― Max Planck

                Comment


                  #9
                  Praying for you WillyNilly and I hope you feel better soon.
                  God Bless Us All

                  Comment


                    #10
                    To WILLY NILLY

                    Hi, I'm so sorry nothing is going right for you right now. I have always told my
                    kids that if you just hang in there long enough life has a way of changing...you just never know...

                    I do hope you've found a better place to live. That would get me down too.
                    But even if its a dump you can always find stuff from Good Will that maybe
                    you can use to decorate with. And I'm ALWAYS amazed when they show pictures
                    on TV and people don't have ART HANGING UP! BOR---ING...

                    That will make you feel better immediately! Or better yet get some cheap paint
                    and PAINT YOUR OWN to hang up. Be Creative- You can do it. It will make you feel better. So HANG IN THERE! pmst1

                    Comment

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