Hello MSWorld,
My name is Andy and I have been dating a lovely woman for past 2 years. She has some difficulties of chronic anxiety that comes and goes and past divorce from verbally abusive and alcoholic husband. I'm 42 and she's thirty. I normally wouldn't date someone with that big of age difference, but we make it work. She's had vague symptoms for several years even before I met her. This past month she had 3rd brain MRI that is highly suggestive of MS, and each MRI shows white plaques that come and go. She needs spinal tap to ultimately confirm MS, but she's afraid to do it. Docs think she has relapsing/remitting MS.
She is having symptoms of short term memory loss, depth perception problems (can't drive, totaled a car recently), right lower leg pain controlled by Gabapentin. The gabapentin is causing her to have water weight gain so she's trying to wean off it. Her docs think it's hot weather making a flare. Her docs advise her to get MS steroid injection drug, then oral MS pill; but she's afraid of liver effects.
Her parents had to move out of town 3 hours away, she has a sister 2 hours north, I'm 40 minutes south of her. So, If we stay together, I will be primary caregiver i'm thinking. Lately she seems depressed, not communicative with me. I don't live with her. She's in nursing school.
I love her and could've seen a long term future with her, but she's not sharing her feelings with me or supporting me very well as a boyfriend lately. My question is, what do I have to look forward to if end up marrying her from MS standpoint? I don't want to be a jerk and leave her with this new diagnosis, but I have needs too. I can't have a marriage based on me being a nurse to someone and not getting anything back. We love each other. I'm not perfect either and am somewhat co dependent and rubbed her wrong way with that.
I just would like to hear from some experienced married people who care for MS spouses.
My name is Andy and I have been dating a lovely woman for past 2 years. She has some difficulties of chronic anxiety that comes and goes and past divorce from verbally abusive and alcoholic husband. I'm 42 and she's thirty. I normally wouldn't date someone with that big of age difference, but we make it work. She's had vague symptoms for several years even before I met her. This past month she had 3rd brain MRI that is highly suggestive of MS, and each MRI shows white plaques that come and go. She needs spinal tap to ultimately confirm MS, but she's afraid to do it. Docs think she has relapsing/remitting MS.
She is having symptoms of short term memory loss, depth perception problems (can't drive, totaled a car recently), right lower leg pain controlled by Gabapentin. The gabapentin is causing her to have water weight gain so she's trying to wean off it. Her docs think it's hot weather making a flare. Her docs advise her to get MS steroid injection drug, then oral MS pill; but she's afraid of liver effects.
Her parents had to move out of town 3 hours away, she has a sister 2 hours north, I'm 40 minutes south of her. So, If we stay together, I will be primary caregiver i'm thinking. Lately she seems depressed, not communicative with me. I don't live with her. She's in nursing school.
I love her and could've seen a long term future with her, but she's not sharing her feelings with me or supporting me very well as a boyfriend lately. My question is, what do I have to look forward to if end up marrying her from MS standpoint? I don't want to be a jerk and leave her with this new diagnosis, but I have needs too. I can't have a marriage based on me being a nurse to someone and not getting anything back. We love each other. I'm not perfect either and am somewhat co dependent and rubbed her wrong way with that.
I just would like to hear from some experienced married people who care for MS spouses.
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