I have read that MS can cause depression but never really experienced anything other than fear, disappointment, and fatigue. I had no idea the effect depression could have on my entire life. I am being crushed by this blanket of malaise. I am not interested in anything, cannot focus on anything, don't really take pleasure in anything. I am unsatisfied with my life and myself but cannot see (or motivate myself to take) a path to feeling better. It has gotten bad enough that I am preventing myself from taking part in activities because of what feels like social anxiety or enough self-loathing that I don't want to leave the house. To top this off I am "eating my feelings" so am heavier than I've ever been. I dread summer with its small clothes and hot weather. I'm sure I am being a pretty lame mom right now and even though my education and career are both in fantastic shape I go to bed each night cataloging the ways that I fell short that day.
I could say there are life things (ending a long and draining degree process, changing jobs, child in preteen years, no significant other, etc) happening to contribute to this but if I'm honest, it has been creeping up on me like a slow rolling fog for over a year now.
I am honestly afraid to get on antidepressants but I am sure I am headed there. I am on a nice little cocktail of meds that has me pretty comfortable and I am loath to add something to the mix. If anyone has any suggestions for depression I welcome them. Please no "pull yourself up by your bootstraps". I am a very resilient and productive person so that is how I usually roll. It isn't working anymore.
I could say there are life things (ending a long and draining degree process, changing jobs, child in preteen years, no significant other, etc) happening to contribute to this but if I'm honest, it has been creeping up on me like a slow rolling fog for over a year now.
I am honestly afraid to get on antidepressants but I am sure I am headed there. I am on a nice little cocktail of meds that has me pretty comfortable and I am loath to add something to the mix. If anyone has any suggestions for depression I welcome them. Please no "pull yourself up by your bootstraps". I am a very resilient and productive person so that is how I usually roll. It isn't working anymore.
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