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Stuck on work, priorities decision. Please help

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    Stuck on work, priorities decision. Please help

    I'm sitting here, listening to the phone go off for the third time today, my boss calling, and I have no idea what to say. I stopped working full-time last year at another job because I just couldn't do it anymore. I figured that I could do SOMETHING, but no idea what would fit my criteria. Then, the perfect job fell into my lap about 6 months ago. My boss doesn't want to lose me. But the past couple of months it has gotten increasingly more difficult to do a lot of things. Physically and cognitively. Everyday, what can I do, not do. I can't keep a promise to have something done by a certain time. If I even remember to do it. Or get past the fear of screwing it up.

    If I take the time and energy for the extras like yoga, chiropractor, acupuncture, swimming, etc, that may help me stay in shape, have less pain, maybe think better, what time does that leave for work? What about my home? At what point do the scales say I need to clean the floors, bathrooms, eat, shower ahead of work? Does anyone care? Or does work come first? My husband can't take over everything. I get about 6 hours a day to do what I want and need. That includes energy working, calls, doctor appointments, pharmacy errands, laundry, shower, dressing, eating, cooking, cleaning, stairs. I take each moment of energy used seriously. And lately I've had an hour or two a day. I can't possibly do it all.

    I need to figure out what to say to my boss. My husband, who is out of town (and I didn't think about the additional items I need to do when he is away until now). I want to do it all, like I used to. And maybe someday again?? For now, what? Tell my boss I need time off. How much? What about the drop in income? We just replaced my car, which was on its last miles.

    I need advice. I am constantly trying to figure out how to do things more efficiently. I'm tired and stressed from juggling all of the balls of priorities. One phone call means at least three, right?! One form turns into two (they lost it, didn't get filled out correctly, oops wrong form...)

    What are the priorities? Is there anyone who helps with all of this? I am always asking. No support groups here. I have a counselor. I want my time spent wisely. And here I am between the rock and the hard place and I have no idea what to do. Or what's right. Or if there are other choices. And I am sitting here, in cowardice freeze. Thank you for all help, advice, etc.

    #2
    Sensible,
    I am not trained to help you, but in my experience I found out that I had to (still have to) put myself in the top slot of priorities.

    For me working was really too much - with everything else I felt that I had to do. I didn't want to quit working, but since then I have found that my illusion of being able to do so much was just that - an illusion.

    I have had to re-prioritize everything that I do. The housework comes before yard-work, but neither one gets the top place. I have to make taking care of me first on the list.

    I still have times when I am sure that I could find SOME job to do. But when I take a moment and consider it I have to admit that there isn't anything that I can obligate myself to doing - I never know how I am going to be doing at any particular time.

    For me the solution was focusing on my well-being first. The rest falls in when / where I can fit it in - or not.

    Best of luck on your decisions. Try not to stress too much, things usually work out some kind of way.

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      #3
      I don't have the answers. Indeed, I have the same questions. I still work full-time, and there are days when I feel I still can do it all, and I want to do it all. But reality sets in, and I sit at my desk, completely unable to focus or even remember on what I am supposed to be focusing. Even this takes my full energy and at day's end I am exhausted. I can't cook. Don't even care about eating. My DH takes care of all that now, which only makes me feel guilty and inadequate.

      I'm always trying to be more efficient, to find ways to cope and get things done. I write lists, then fail to look at them. I research cognitive strategies, then promptly forget them. I try, try, try, and I do sometimes succeed, but always at a cost, usually to how I feel. I know I am not taking good enough care of myself, but my priorities are work (I am deathly afraid of being unemployed at such a relatively young age), followed by relationship, followed by home. Then there are the social events I still try to attend. Ish. I get interwoven within that, but in no way am I at the top of the heap.

      Let me know if you figure it all out.

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