PPMS .....SO CONFUSED

Hey Everyone,

I am recently diagnosed with PPMS. I am depressed, confused, frightened
and my thoughts are everywhere. My MS dr. told me to start researching meds
to see which one I want to go on. I don't have exacerbations/flare ups.

I went to my primary physician 48 hours after a final DX for a cough and confided
in him. I was on the verge of tears and emotional. His response to me was
"you are not dying." WTH ! Really ? I wonder how he would feel if he was in my shoes
or if he found out if his wife was in my shoes. Sometimes I think I can't possibly have this
disease, maybe the neuro is wrong. Other times, I think why me..I have always tried to be
a good person...why am I being punished? To be honest, sometimes I have a pity party parade
and wonder why another health issue. I already have other issues. I am not coping well with this diagnosis.
I have admiration for people who are so strong and just deal with whatever curveballs come their way.
I am not one of those people. I am just venting out of misery.

[jreagan70]

jskmssss, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time with your diagnosis.

The best thing I can say to you is to recommend that you immediately get into intensive therapy with a mental health professional to help you 1) find ways to cope with the shock of your diagnosis, and 2) get past the idea that MS is some kind of punishment for being a "bad" person.

Health conditions have nothing to do with your value as a person. You didn't do anything wrong to bring on your health issues, and thinking of it that way is a destructive game you can't win. So please don't do that to yourself.

People who learn how to deal with the curveballs of life aren't any stronger or more special than you are. They've just learned how to look at life in ways that aren't judgements of their worth as a person, and are self-affirming instead of self-destructive. With the right help, you'll find strength within yourself that you don't even know you have. Your strength is there. With the right guidance, it will come out.

If you already have a therapist and you're still feeling this way, please please please find a different therapist -- even a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication to help you over the hump. If you're already on a medication, then please please please see your doctor about trying a different medication.

You don't have to continue feeling the way you do. Once you get past the shock and the self-judgement, there are brighter days ahead. There's no secret to it. So please get into, or change, mental health therapies so you can see what other people with MS have found out about happier days ahead.

[tommyrobby]

I appreciate your anger and frustration; I have had PPMS for over 45 years. Check your local National MS Society chapter for a copy of the book Primary Progressive MS. There is a lot of information in the book about living with PPMS

[jskmssss]

JREGAN & TOMMYROBBY

Thanks for taking the time out to respond. I am going to take the advice that you have given.

I will look into seeing a mental health professional. I think that is a great idea. It can't hurt and can only help. I will also call about ordering the book. Also going to try to find some type of yoga class.

Thanks for helping a newbie.

jskmssss, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time with your diagnosis.

The best thing I can say to you is to recommend that you immediately get into intensive therapy with a mental health professional to help you 1) find ways to cope with the shock of your diagnosis, and 2) get past the idea that MS is some kind of punishment for being a "bad" person.

Health conditions have nothing to do with your value as a person. You didn't do anything wrong to bring on your health issues, and thinking of it that way is a destructive game you can't win. So please don't do that to yourself.

People who learn how to deal with the curveballs of life aren't any stronger or more special than you are. They've just learned how to look at life in ways that aren't judgements of their worth as a person, and are self-affirming instead of self-destructive. With the right help, you'll find strength within yourself that you don't even know you have. Your strength is there. With the right guidance, it will come out.


If you already have a therapist and you're still feeling this way, please please please find a different therapist -- even a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication to help you over the hump. If you're already on a medication, then please please please see your doctor about trying a different medication.

You don't have to continue feeling the way you do. Once you get past the shock and the self-judgement, there are brighter days ahead. There's no secret to it. So please get into, or change, mental health therapies so you can see what other people with MS have found out about happier days ahead.

[JerryD]

Hi, it is great to read your post. i have PPMS, too. I was diagnosed in the spring of 2010. I searched for a diagnosis for a year before I was confirmed by the 'big shot' at the University Hospital of Philadelphia.
I know the anxiety that comes along with the dx of PPMS. I wishthat I some wisdom to share with you, but I don't have any. The previous posts have said many thoughtful and helpful ideas. Good luck