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    when friends leave

    Hi, I have been "retired" from working for going on five years. We moved nine hours north to be closer to my family and friends because the friends I had at work seemed to forget about me once I lost the ability to drive and to walk without assistance. Now that we have moved it seems to be happening all over again. I realize that it is harder for me to socialize since I need rides from others to go anywhere and then whomever I am with has to help me with my walker or scooter. I get that. I try to reach out to people with phone calls, but they never seem to be reciprocated. Somehow my visits to other people's homes never seem to be returned with a visit to our home. All of this has lead me to feelings of isolation and depression. Going out by myself is out of the question because busses here only operate in town, and taxis are expensive. I would have to deal with my scooter by myself and it weighs 70 pounds. Extended family members have stopped inviting me to functions. I understand the difficulties that come with helping me travel. I guess my question is has this happened to anyone else here? Feeling lonely and isolated is no fun and I have lost my positive attitude. It's become very hard to drag myself out of the dumps of late. Thank you for reading this. Any replies are appreciated! Thanks and I hope you have a great day!

    #2
    Addendum

    Sorry, I guess this post came off as sounding like self pity. That was not my intent but nonetheless that's what happened.

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      #3
      Originally posted by not2legit View Post
      Sorry, I guess this post came off as sounding like self pity. That was not my intent but nonetheless that's what happened.
      It doesn t sound like self pity, just someone looking for advise. I haven't been able to drive for 10 years and we lived in a condo on top of a hill. I felt like a prisoner because i couldn't leave that hill! In September we moved to a tiny apt. within walking distance to a medical clinic,hospital, starbucks and grocery store. This is the happiest I have been in 10 years! I can just barely make the walk but its worth it. I have seen many people with scooters although I only need crutches. I know you probably dont want to move again,I sure didn't ,but I am so glad I did that for my own independence. Hope this is some help..

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        #4
        Your feelings are very valid

        I live in a rural area too.

        I'm also pretty stubborn. Fortunately, I am within walking distance of the center of town so I can go to a coffee shop, or run a few banking errands.

        Unfortunately, I'm not able to walk the distance (5-7 minutes away from my home) so for now I have a small cadre of friends to drive me around, and two sons at home with me to get me a treat or whatever I need.

        But- I am planning on getting a scooter and I am in the middle of planning on getting a ramp installed so that I don't have to rely so much on everyone to do the small things that need to get done.

        However, I too am not invited to many functions anymore because of the logistics of getting me there, but at least those I go to are with those who really want me there. For that I am grateful.

        Don't get me started on the dating scene. Want to talk about depressing? That is an understatement.

        You are not being self pitying. Isolation is a reality in this.

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          #5
          Thank you both!

          Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. I can understand where you both are coming from. My scooter is a great help to me and my family. I know most of them are expensive, but mine was a fairly cheap $500.00. I can understand how dating would be very difficult, and my heart goes out to you. God bless you both and I truly appreciate your insights and understanding.

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            #6
            No great advice I just wanted to say hi and that I wish we all didn't have this miserable disease.
            He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
            Anonymous

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