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STRS

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    STRS

    Don't know where to start.

    I taught for 22 years and just now quit.

    I keep saying I quit because it sounds like I gave up if I say I was granted my disability retirement.

    It is so difficult to speak in the past tense about my teaching.

    I had been struggling at school for several years. My teaching partners had picked up much of the traveling for me.

    My district altered the lighting in my room to help with my vision as well.

    I had an alarm set on my phone and slept every day while my students were at lunch and recess.

    I went in every weekend for hours to try to prepare and keep up.

    It was just too much.

    My falls were too frequent: in the hall, the parking lot, computer lab, in the classroom.

    I got hurt. But my biggest concern was falling and hurting a student or having them see me get injured.

    The one huge issue I have had is that I taught primary aged children. I was still teaching and trying to make it through.

    My letter of approval came over Christmas break. It stated that I needed to stop all teaching service by the end of the month. School wasn't in session and would not resume until January. I didn't get to say good bye to my class or have any closure with them. This was very difficult for me.

    My friends boxed up my classroom in about two hours and my husband hauled it home in a truck. It's in my basement.

    It just doesn't seem like reality. To add insults to injury. My neuro took me of Tec at the beginning of Dec because of low WBC. So, of course, with this extra stress I am in a relapse.

    ADD, even with 22 years of service, I only will receive between 47 or 48 % of my salary. The insurance is ridiculously priced as well.

    I keep thinking of units I wanted to teach. Seeing things or hearing about tidbits that I want to pass along to little ears.
    It's so hard to not be a teacher.

    I really don't feel relieved over the approval yet. I know it was the right thing to do. My doctor, family, and friends have been urging my to do it. Its just a huge concession to make.

    Thank you for letting my vent a little.

    Take Care,
    Denise

    #2
    Kudos to you for being such a trooper. I hope you can go back and visit your kiddos even if just to say goodbye.

    If you have an iPad, check out the tiny tap app- letīs you create your own stories and activities- that you could share.
    Your teacher brain is not going to suddenly turn off- you can still put those ideas to use.

    Take care,
    Temagami

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      #3
      Big hugs, Denise
      Can you go have lunch with your students? I can't imagine how hard this is for you, not getting to say goodbye. I taught for only about four years, and now I'm in a different profession. I taught high school kids, and I would dream about my students the first month of each summer. Those kids are such a huge part of your life.

      Even though you aren't teaching anymore, you'll always be a teacher. Do you think you'd be interested in teaching classes through the YMCA or some other community organization? Boys and Girls club, Sunday school if you go to church, the Red Cross... just some ideas.
      Portia

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        #4
        Can not teach.

        Unfortunately the letter that came granting my disability retirement also States I cannot take part in any activity that involves teaching service- volunteering or not. That is why I could not say goodbye to myclsss. We returned from break Jan 5. I even asked about skyping with the class and was told no.

        I argued multiple times with different people about how the regulations were punitive. I have not done anything wrong but still being punished. Very tiring.

        Sad
        Denise

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          #5
          That was just mean

          Those kids needed closure and after 22 years, you obviously did. Many people seriously under-estimate the drain of teaching. I feel that my days teaching are numbered. I haven't disclosed to my new boss but I am very worried that I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I have been increasingly forgetful about paperwork and there are days that the ability to be fresh and creative are just not going to be there. I sit, a lot. I have to. I have a vocal intention tremor that is very transient and unpredictable, but the more talking I do, the more frequent it is. I am 40 and I am so worried they think I am a drunk or worse. I've never so much as sipped an alcoholic drink. Ever.
          CIS DX 2013

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