REACTIONS??

[hunterd]

What has the general reaction of other family members been towards the person with MS?

[ejonesbowlie]

In my case I would say that it has been concern, sympathy, understanding and a desire to help. While this is appreciated, these reactions sometimes frustrate me as I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me or feel as though I have to depend on anyone. However in reality, I do need help and know that they are truly concerned as opposed to "feeling sorry" for me. I think they feel helpless..to "help" me if that makes sense?

[poohb3ar]

mixed reactions

when finally dxd in 2002, all family members were supportive. after i educated them about what MS was.

at family gatherings, it's hard to keep up with everybody. helping with the cooking, cleaning, playing cards that includes sitting in a hard straight back chair are all challenges that i've slowly been absent from.

just a few days ago, i found out what is said behind my back- that i use my MS to be lazy and not help out or keep a perfectly clean house and cook meals all the time.
that really hurt, don't know how it went from being kind and helpful to stabbing me in the back.

it's so frustrating, especially if i do a lot on good days, then it's expected of me that i'm able to always do that amount of work, but my energy wavers day to day.

guess a lot of us have similar experiences. it hurts, but what can you do about it?
i either put on a smile like it doesn't bother me or more lately, just avoid those who make me feel worthless.
don't have much tolerance for negative people. sad, but true.

hang in there hunterd!
take care & God bless ya!

[msgijo]

What has the general reaction of other family members been towards the person with MS?

I think that like most people they didn't know what to think / say / feel when they heard about it.

IMHO it is easier for the younger ones to be ok with it. My grandchildren and my nephew(s) don't seem to realize there is suppose to be anything wrong with me (btw - that I have MS is not a secret in my family) - this is just how I am. And thats cool.

My mother took a while to accept it. Now we can talk about it with no problems, even tho I still sense that she is a little unconformable. Hey - her problem..

Others pulled away from me. They will still speak at family gatherings, and even ask how I am doing, but it is more polite conversation than any desire to really know.

Some (my grandparents and my daughter) were there and stuck by me. As does my current Husband (he was post MS dx).

I have come to the conclusion that there are 3 types of people.
1. Those who really care and want to help, but just don't know how (mom).
2. Those that are so concerned with themselves that it is easy for them to 'avoid' others problems
3. Those who can accept and are able to just let people be who / what they are (DH, DD and grandparents).

I am working on being one of the third types of people ..

[Temagami]

Zero acknowledgement, zero offer of help. At this point, any offer would not come from an open heart. I think it is the lack of acknowledgement that is more hurtful. I get that some people donīt know how to help or even want to help, but to not even have the decency or empathy to acknowledge that it is a mighty situation to face; that is disconcerting. Well, makes me value my friends all the more- and my pups.