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How To Say "No, I'm Tired"

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    How To Say "No, I'm Tired"

    My biggest relationship challenge is how to make my life partner UNDERSTAND that I am tired, and that my tired is a different type of tired that what he can relate to.

    We live a fun life, always visiting friends and going out, this after working long days in a challenging career. I am so tired that the thought of going out after a long week of work makes me anxious and upset because all I want to do is go home and sleep.

    I can't find the right words to explain my exhaustion to him. Does anyone have any advise on how you have expressed this exhaustion to others so they can understand that it is different than just being tired?

    Penny

    #2
    you are in a tough spot, I have been in that same spot for the past 15 years. All I can suggest is to contact the national MS Society at http://www.nmss.org and request as many brochures that talk about different issues regarding MS. The brochures are free. I might also recommend the book "MS for dummies". I wish you the best.
    hunterd/HuntOP/Dave
    volunteer
    MS World
    hunterd@msworld.org
    PPMS DX 2001

    "ADAPT AND OVERCOME" - MY COUSIN

    Comment


      #3
      Hi Loveboxers,

      This one is hard to explain to anyone without MS. But, maybe this will be a start:

      Multiple Sclerosis: What is Lassitude?

      Although many people experience fatigue on a regular basis, one type of fatigue, commonly referred to as lassitude, is unique to people with multiple sclerosis (MS). Lassitude is thought to result from poor nerve conduction caused by damage to the myelin around the nerve fibers in the central nervous system (CNS). Because of the demyelination, your body has to work harder just to transmit messages between your brain and other parts of your body.

      Unlike normal fatigue, MS lassitude:

      -Tends to come on suddenly

      -Generally occurs on a daily basis

      -Can occur at any time of day, even right after a restful night's sleep

      -Generally increases as the day progresses

      -Can worsen temporarily with heat and humidity

      -Is much more likely to interfere with everyday activities

      http://www.dummies.com/how-to/conten...lassitude.html

      You can also read more here:

      http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Sym...mptoms/Fatigue

      http://my.clevelandclinic.org/servic...iple-sclerosis

      Best wishes ,
      Kimba

      “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ― Max Planck

      Comment


        #4
        The Spoon Theory

        Have you tried this analogy?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn5IBsm49Rk

        Spouse might never "get" it. I have a usually understanding husband, and I've had MS since for thirteen years. But, he still doesn't.

        I've tried to explain that an "MS exhaustion" is unlike any other tired that I ever experienced. If I push myself too far, all I can do, for thirty minutes, is to lie, reclined, in the Lazy Boy. Too tired, even to keep my eyes open. Too tired to watch TV. Literally all that I can do is to lie back with my eyes closed.

        It's not even "tired", when that happens. It is simply fatigue and exhaustion.

        I no longer allow myself to reach that point. I take breaks *before* I get tired. Then the MS exhaustion does not occur.

        He still believes that I should push myself. That, like an athlete who trains their body to do more and more, if I would train myself to do more, I could increase my energy.

        Oh well. I tried. Maybe you will have more success than I did.
        ~ Faith
        MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
        (now a Mimibug)

        Symptoms began in JAN02
        - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
        - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
        .

        - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
        - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

        Comment


          #5
          Buy MS for Dummies, dont say anything, just put it on the coffee table...eventually he will read it...hopefully.
          Katie
          "Yep, I have MS, and it does have Me!"
          "My MS is a Journey for One."
          Dx: 1999 DMDS: Avonex, Copaxone, Rebif, currently on Tysabri

          Comment


            #6
            Thanks!

            Thank you all for the great suggestions. I will buy the book, he reads, so maybe he will pick it up. I will follow the other helpful links as well.

            It is helpful for me to read your comments about this type of exhaustion and how you cope with it and I can relate to how you describe how you feel. I think I just cannot explain it, therefore no one understands it.

            The kicker for me is that I am athletic, I eat healthy, I love to exercise, hike, go walking with my dog. But, like you, when I am tired, I can't take another step, I can't watch TV, I can't stay awake even if I sit up to try and keep from falling asleep. I become overwhelmed and anxious when I hear of too many activities planned in a day because I know I can't keep up, and like many of you, I pay for it dearly and end up losing a whole day due to exhaustion afterward.

            Thanks again, and hopefully something will help us one day.

            Penny

            Comment


              #7
              you could also explain it using the spoon system
              hunterd/HuntOP/Dave
              volunteer
              MS World
              hunterd@msworld.org
              PPMS DX 2001

              "ADAPT AND OVERCOME" - MY COUSIN

              Comment

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