I just need to come on and complain to people who get it today.
I spent New Year's Eve with Boyfriend (of ten months, who is great
) at the party of one of his friend's who I had never met. Boyfriend felt kind of guilted into going to this party since his friend has been complaining about how he has never met me. I was game since our other options were much more in the vein of sitting around watching TV in pajamas rather than dressing up for a party which probably would have suited me just fine - but I'm 25 and stubborn.
The first words out of the host's girlfriend's mouth to my boyfriend were "have you been drinking?" (he had not.) And even if he had... it was New Year's Eve! Awesomely, I was having a day where I had very little control over what I was holding in my hands. I also have a rather happy personality, particularly when I am trying to get strangers to like me. I'm not going to say "I'm everyone's favorite person and so awesome and cool" but I'm a pretty nice person, and at the very least, not polarizing. I had been warned that these people could be kind of miserable, but hadn't expected them to spend the entire night commenting (both to my face and to each other LOUDLY) on how drunk I was - I was not - because I accidentally knocked over my boyfriend's beer and then dropped my phone and then dropped my chips (none of which did any damage to their apartment what-so-ever, and which I cleaned up).
I had also bought them a $75 bottle of champagne meant for everyone which they put in their own personal wine rack and didn't even thank me for. Which should really have been the very first clue that they were ... poorly mannered.
The final straw though, was when, while playing Cards Against Humanity, they scoffed at me for laughing at the cards I was given, in a game that is supposed to be funny. Not because they were grossed out by the cards, but because they thought I was "soooo drunk." Again... I have had two glasses of wine at this point, enough to be a little buzzy but not DRUNK. I felt so self conscious that I started drinking water from then on. They proceeded to play beer pong.
I was at a New Year's Eve party with 30-year-old mean TEENAGERS. I eventually gave up on being nice or even talking to people I didn't already know and went and laid down in another room because I was so exhausted from being up at 6 and at work all day long, and stressing out about having enough time between to get ready for the party (which was an hour away from where I live) so that I looked nice and still made it to the party within 20 minutes of the time they told us to get there. All because I wanted make a good impression on these people I hadn't met yet. The going to bed added fodder to the drunk girl fire, but I could really care less. Luckily, the night was salvaged by the two other friends we knew at the party who know I have M.S. - who wound up yelling at the hosts apparently after I left - and my boyfriend - who felt horrible that he had even brought me to that party, and took me home early when we were supposed to stay all night. We wound up having a great time at home for the rest of the night with his pup and Dad!
I still feel tired from that night. That's how upsetting it was. Even in high school, I have never felt so ganged up on, or anything. I'm a pretty strong, independent girl and by the end of the night I felt like I was hiding behind my boyfriend. I felt VULNERABLE (yuuuckkkk :-p), I felt embarrassed when I hadn't done anything and felt like he was the only person trying to make me smile all night (which is a pretty awesome trait for a boyfriend, I must say.)
Now bear in mind that I have been recovering from having a tumor removed from right up against my spine (done October 31st) and only really got back to work and life after Thanksgiving. And I had to move from a rental home back into my house which was being renovated between Christmas and New Year's. And the only days I have had off work were New Year's Day and Christmas Day. No getting let out early (Ok, we got let out at 4:30 one day...), not even half days. I couldn't take vacation days like the rest of my office did, because unfortunately I had just had a month-long vacation. Yes, at my job, sitting in a chair being unable to move your neck or open your mouth properly and spending most waking hours being in physical, emotional, and mental duress is vacation time (+ actually one week of vacation time and three weeks of FMLA.) I'm not tired. I'm freaking TIRED.
How are you guys dealing with people who don't get it? And the ones that try to so hard and are totally on your side, but ultimately won't ever TRULY get how you feel? I try to be grateful that the majority of the people I surround myself with are the latter, but right now I'm so tired that even emotions are exhausting.
I usually don't feel so sorry for myself... but I just need a mini pity party, so please constructive comments and/or fellow grumblers only
I spent New Year's Eve with Boyfriend (of ten months, who is great
) at the party of one of his friend's who I had never met. Boyfriend felt kind of guilted into going to this party since his friend has been complaining about how he has never met me. I was game since our other options were much more in the vein of sitting around watching TV in pajamas rather than dressing up for a party which probably would have suited me just fine - but I'm 25 and stubborn. The first words out of the host's girlfriend's mouth to my boyfriend were "have you been drinking?" (he had not.) And even if he had... it was New Year's Eve! Awesomely, I was having a day where I had very little control over what I was holding in my hands. I also have a rather happy personality, particularly when I am trying to get strangers to like me. I'm not going to say "I'm everyone's favorite person and so awesome and cool" but I'm a pretty nice person, and at the very least, not polarizing. I had been warned that these people could be kind of miserable, but hadn't expected them to spend the entire night commenting (both to my face and to each other LOUDLY) on how drunk I was - I was not - because I accidentally knocked over my boyfriend's beer and then dropped my phone and then dropped my chips (none of which did any damage to their apartment what-so-ever, and which I cleaned up).
I had also bought them a $75 bottle of champagne meant for everyone which they put in their own personal wine rack and didn't even thank me for. Which should really have been the very first clue that they were ... poorly mannered.
The final straw though, was when, while playing Cards Against Humanity, they scoffed at me for laughing at the cards I was given, in a game that is supposed to be funny. Not because they were grossed out by the cards, but because they thought I was "soooo drunk." Again... I have had two glasses of wine at this point, enough to be a little buzzy but not DRUNK. I felt so self conscious that I started drinking water from then on. They proceeded to play beer pong.
I was at a New Year's Eve party with 30-year-old mean TEENAGERS. I eventually gave up on being nice or even talking to people I didn't already know and went and laid down in another room because I was so exhausted from being up at 6 and at work all day long, and stressing out about having enough time between to get ready for the party (which was an hour away from where I live) so that I looked nice and still made it to the party within 20 minutes of the time they told us to get there. All because I wanted make a good impression on these people I hadn't met yet. The going to bed added fodder to the drunk girl fire, but I could really care less. Luckily, the night was salvaged by the two other friends we knew at the party who know I have M.S. - who wound up yelling at the hosts apparently after I left - and my boyfriend - who felt horrible that he had even brought me to that party, and took me home early when we were supposed to stay all night. We wound up having a great time at home for the rest of the night with his pup and Dad! I still feel tired from that night. That's how upsetting it was. Even in high school, I have never felt so ganged up on, or anything. I'm a pretty strong, independent girl and by the end of the night I felt like I was hiding behind my boyfriend. I felt VULNERABLE (yuuuckkkk :-p), I felt embarrassed when I hadn't done anything and felt like he was the only person trying to make me smile all night (which is a pretty awesome trait for a boyfriend, I must say.)
Now bear in mind that I have been recovering from having a tumor removed from right up against my spine (done October 31st) and only really got back to work and life after Thanksgiving. And I had to move from a rental home back into my house which was being renovated between Christmas and New Year's. And the only days I have had off work were New Year's Day and Christmas Day. No getting let out early (Ok, we got let out at 4:30 one day...), not even half days. I couldn't take vacation days like the rest of my office did, because unfortunately I had just had a month-long vacation. Yes, at my job, sitting in a chair being unable to move your neck or open your mouth properly and spending most waking hours being in physical, emotional, and mental duress is vacation time (+ actually one week of vacation time and three weeks of FMLA.) I'm not tired. I'm freaking TIRED.
How are you guys dealing with people who don't get it? And the ones that try to so hard and are totally on your side, but ultimately won't ever TRULY get how you feel? I try to be grateful that the majority of the people I surround myself with are the latter, but right now I'm so tired that even emotions are exhausting.
I usually don't feel so sorry for myself... but I just need a mini pity party, so please constructive comments and/or fellow grumblers only
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