People holding doors for you

[NYJenn]

I do not mean to sound ungrateful, but sometimes when a person rushes to get the door for me, they get impatient waiting for me to get there. Usually I am fumbling with a fistful of change or having to make a tricky maneuver with my scooter. Does this happen to you?

[Marco]

Short Answer:
You can tell them, "I'm a bit slow, go ahead if you're in a hurry." This gives them the opportunity to go ahead if they are in a hurry. This also gives you the freedom to take a bit more time, and not rush (compromising your safety).


Long, Crusty, Old Curmudgeon Answer:
You don't sound ungrateful. It just sounds like the other person is missing out on their blessing. They don't understand that holding the door is about them, and not about YOU. We've gotten it all backwards when it comes to opening doors. Too often we have forgotten that serving each other is more important than serving ourselves. Growing up in Texas, it was considered ill-mannered, or rude, not to hold the door open for someone, anyone, everyone. This was not limited to women, the elderly or the infirm, but anyone that approached the door immediately after you arrived. It's still common to have a standoff between two men holding the door for each other. It has more to do with the person holding the door, than those walking through it. Quite simply, it's an honor to be able to serve others.

You have a disability and that may require you to spend a few moments longer than a healthy person. If the other person gets impatient, frustrated or haughty, that is another reflection upon them, not you. They have simply forgotten how to serve other people. To remedy this situation:
You can tell them, "I'm a bit slow, go ahead if you're in a hurry." This gives them the opportunity to go ahead if they are impatient. This gives you the freedom to take a bit more time, and not rush (compromising your safety). If after being warned, they continue to grimace from the task, that’s on them. At that point, I would politely say, “Thank you, I can get it from here” or “Go ahead, I know you are busy.” That may snap them out of their little world, or give them another chance to scamper off to their little miserable existence. Whatever you do, try and be polite; because it’s obvious they are far more handicapped than you are.

[22cyclist]

I agree with Marco, I just usually tell them to go ahead if I feel like I am holding them up. I too just tell them I am slow that day but I will get there.

Take care,
Lisa

[Marie12]

I remember when I first started using a walker, and a guy shut the door and held it

I don't know him, but I have forgiven him, because he must have mental problems. I just ignored him. I guess he didn't want anyone with a walker in the same Church that he was going to?

So, when I got to the door, with my walker, he quickly went ahead of me, and held it shut. I thought that he jumped ahead of me, in order to hold the door open?

But, after he got through the door, he saw the priest, so he started talking to me, then went over and started chatting with the priest. ? ? ?

Didn't he realize, that Jesus saw him? But everyone else has been really helpful.

[palmtree]

Marie, that's a shocking story. To do something like that and then chat with the priest like he is the most devout person in the parish is sociopathic. Sociopaths often hide out in churches.

Regarding people who hold open doors, I find this phenomenon in about all forms of aid people give. The grocery bagger who hands the groceries to me when my hands are full. The driver who starts up the motor of the car when HE is ready to go and then leaves it running. The person who hands you a glass and shakes it up and down to signal to you that you are too slow. The person who bends down a picks up a filthy penny that you dropped and is offended if you don't take it.

People who help are tied up in completing THEIR action and are impatient if you don't grab the ball. I want to say, 'who are you doing this for?'