Does anyone even look at this part of the board any more?

[Bo Perkins]

I found the LGBT Community 3 days after my 60th birthday and thought way cool. Didn't think to check what the dates were on the posts. Guess I should have. Then maybe I wouldn't have posted anything. But them maybe I would have. I tend to have things to say even long after the subject has changed it seems lol.

It is my hope that this area can develop a new life once more.

[Selsia]

This board does not have the most activity. That said, this is still a meaningful resource and connection point for myself and likely many other members.

Yes, it can take a few months for a response - but not always.

[RColeman]

It is my hope that this area can develop a new life once more.

I hope so too. It is difficult enough having MS..it puts another layer on the battling of it when you are not only single but part of the LGBT family.

Fortunately for me, I'm out of the closet on both. I must say it does make my life quite interesting at times.

[Bo Perkins]

Fortunately for me, I'm out of the closet on both. I must say it does make my life quite interesting at times. [/QUOTE]

For me, I am as far as I sense my caregivers family is comfortable with. They are comfortable with me as they were raised around it. However I live with them in a town that makes them uneasy for me to be as far out there as I would normally have been. At my age, it seems best for me to be open at home and when I go out, I only watch what I say, not what I wear or act or how I look.

As for being single, I decided almost 10 years ago that there was never going to be anyone who would want to be tied down if I ever took a turn for the worse.

And if I ever needed to be reminded of it, there was a woman who she and I flirted around with being together over the years. Everything needed for a relationship was there except she was young and although she vowed she would never mind taking care of me, she found out differently. She had received a dx that indicated she would be crippled probably by the time she was 40 or so. No I no longer remember what it was. It was then that she contacted me and told me that although she loved me and has looked forward to me coming to live there, she can no longer live with me. She had to think of who would take care of her when she went down.

It was then that I made the decision not to look anymore. I have enough to do to keep my health and body in working order. At least I can be out around a family I have chosen to be mine.

[RColeman]

And if I ever needed to be reminded of it, there was a woman who she and I flirted around with being together over the years. Everything needed for a relationship was there except she was young and although she vowed she would never mind taking care of me, she found out differently. She had received a dx that indicated she would be crippled probably by the time she was 40 or so. No I no longer remember what it was. It was then that she contacted me and told me that although she loved me and has looked forward to me coming to live there, she can no longer live with me. She had to think of who would take care of her when she went down.

It was then that I made the decision not to look anymore. I have enough to do to keep my health and body in working order. At least I can be out around a family I have chosen to be mine.

I pretty much have resigned myself to the same. My exGF stopped short of telling me that she "did not sign up for this." My subsequent dating adventures have been the "Well you're nice and everything I want/see/need, BUT (always that BUT) I don't think I can handle that." Now mind you the women I dated are in my desired age range....48 to 60. My exGF is in her 60's.

I was at first pretty bitter, knowing that we all are going to have health issues to deal with. None of us get out of this life alive. I would have thought that the older I get, the more evident this would become to all, and more compassion would result. I'm finding out rather quickly that there are large swaths of denial running though people along with avoidance of those who constantly display the frailty of our health.

So, I too have stopped looking. In the meantime, I have become my own girlfriend. Less headaches, less heartache and very comfortable..I'm hella expensive though! LOL

[Bo Perkins]

Expensive gf?

So, I too have stopped looking. In the meantime, I have become my own girlfriend. Less headaches, less heartache and very comfortable..I'm hella expensive though! LOL

I hear you there. LOL - There was one other thing that I was told that let me know it was the end for me or pretty much any who thought like me. I don't "dress up" in make up and dresses - Haven't sence the school board decided it was ok for us to wear jeans to school and the church agreed as long as they were clean and whole. That was back somewhere in 1970 - 71 for our small town.

Just before my friend let me know that she had to have someone who she knew could take care of her in the future, I was informed that women were no longer were attracted to women who didn't wear make-up and dresses by someone else who was trying to "help". So after the two slaps (not that it really took two) I shut down. Where I live now, I am like a great aunt who has come to stay.

And even though from time to time I miss having someone to take out, Grandfather has blessed me with a great family. Am I an expensive date? Hmm - Naw! But I do have to buy myself expensive gifts from time to time lol

[allHailye2]

I don't go to this forum specifically because there hardly ever is a new post, but I do read the "new posts" section. It makes me to see a new post in this forum tho.

As for people, many just suck! Lol doesn't matter what age they are!

[epicenegreen]

Still looking, at the board

I pretty much have resigned myself to the same. My exGF stopped short of telling me that she "did not sign up for this." My subsequent dating adventures have been the "Well you're nice and everything I want/see/need, BUT (always that BUT) I don't think I can handle that." Now mind you the women I dated are in my desired age range....48 to 60. My exGF is in her 60's.

I was at first pretty bitter, knowing that we all are going to have health issues to deal with. None of us get out of this life alive. I would have thought that the older I get, the more evident this would become to all, and more compassion would result. I'm finding out rather quickly that there are large swaths of denial running though people along with avoidance of those who constantly display the frailty of our health.

So, I too have stopped looking. In the meantime, I have become my own girlfriend. Less headaches, less heartache and very comfortable..I'm hella expensive though! LOL

I just ended a 15 year relationship, after finally coming to terms with the notion that being alone through all of this will be better than being with the wrong woman. She actually wants to take care of me, but it is not worth being unhappy. The stress of it all only made my MS worse in the end.

I keep telling my friends that I will be alone from now on. I just turned 43, so they think I am giving up too soon. I don't want to go through the hopefulness and disappointment again. Being my own girlfriend is a great idea. I am just now exploring the freedom to eat when I want, sleep when I want, and listen to what I want. I am a cheap date for sure, and I am much less argumentative.

Humans are social creatures. We just need to find our social interactions in a different way. That is what makes these discussion boards so important. These, and others, are helping me become comfortable with my singleness. I am learning more that settling is not worth it. Taking care of oneself is most important, with a positive attitude and an appreciation for every little thing that I experience. We cannot help others if there is nothing left of us to give.

I will post more often, so I hope someone is out there to read and maybe write back. This is our virtual perfect girlfriend.

[TaoWarrior]

I go through periods where I check the board more and less but mostly read the new post not specific boards. I'll try and check in on this one a bit more so you don't feel lost in the wilderness when you want some interaction, however I can't promise that I'll always be around.

When I am feeling better I tend to spend less time here but the last few months have been rough and I am afraid I may have moved into secondary progressive so that would mean even more time here. I'm waiting for my next neuro appointment in June to see for sure because I am in a clinical trial for RRMS so if I have become progressive I will be kicked off and lacking health insurance that means I won't be able to afford a neuro. JOY!

Ending a 15 year relationship has to be tough but you have to do what is best for you. Best of luck.

[Wonderdog lady]

I check newest posts too! I'm so sorry you have come to the end of a fifteen year relationship. I wanted to tell you that I love what you said about being your own girlfriend! I remember when my Mother moved into a senior facility after my Father died. She said you have to be your own best friend! I think all of us in this MS boat should take your advice. Thank you

[Bo Perkins]

RE: Checking in from time totime

I had actually forgotten about this board. Mostly because there was nothing new for a long while. Then I kept getting sick.

Now I can just hope and pray that ya'll are still checking in cause I sure plan on it. And I love what you said about being your own girlfriend and would love to use it sometime if ya don't mind.