My fiance has MS

[Lovinsome1withms]

My fiance has ms and does not eat, won't get out of bed and won't do the excerises the physical therapist told him he needs to do. What can I do to get him motivated? He admits that alot of the problem is laziness. Is there anything I can do to help him want to get up and do things instead of being in th bed all the time. He says know he has to get up and do things but he just lays in the bed. Please help me

[Jules A]

Unfortunately he is going to have to be the one to show some initiative in his own health and care. You aren't going to be able to make him do it.

Many people with MS have depression perhaps a mental health assessment might be worth suggesting? Good luck!

[Dale76]

Agree with the above, sounds like he is depressed. MS has a nasty habit of making you care a lot less about some things and just generally makes it hard to feel motivated. Most non MSer's have goals for their future that keep them motivated, with MS your goals and future become blurry. It is hard to plan anything beyond the day when each day brings a new curve ball.

He is going to seize up laying in bed and go down hill quickly. He needs to keep as active as he can or he will only get weaker.

[Kimba22]

Hi Lovinsome1withms,

Welcome to MSWorld! So sorry to hear about your fiancé.

I agree with the above posters. Refusing to eat is a red flag for depression.

Depression is common in MS, for more reaons than what some may think. He could just feel overwhelmed and discouraged about his diagnosis. But the disease process itself and/ or medications could be playing role. Here's a link from the National MS society about depression and MS. http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Sym...oms/Depression

Like Dale already suggested, more issues will develop if he continues to stay in bed. Deconditioning will result, causing more weakness. A general rule of thumb physical therapists use with anyone who's been bedridden is that 1 day of bedrest = 3 days loss of strength.

I hope you can convince him to see his doctor. An antidepressant may what he needs to get his appetite back and start moving again. And it's not a sign of emotional weakness to seek help, it's really a sign of strength.

Best of luck ,

[Cat Mom]

I'm so sorry you're in this position but bless your heart for reaching out.

It's so overwhelming that sometimes staying in bed and shutting the world out is easier than dealing with the reality of it.

Try to get him to do just one thing per day. Such as having a meal or a shower or going one place. Unfortunately, it's up to him, not you, so please give yourself a break. There's only so much you can do so try to continue on with life even if he doesn't take part.

Hopefully, he will want to join you in living life but if not, it's not your fault. Please take care of yourself.

Jen

[BigA]

I wanted to add that Depression can be a symptom of MS, just as fatigue is - there doesn't need to be a direct reason, but the shock and the situation can add to it. Depression for any reason is a concern. The person involved in it can not tell what's really going on; things have no meaning, no purpose, no interest. I don't know his physical level, but he should be exercising and obviously get him to a doctor. Best would be a therapist in his MS clinic, but any doctor who can diagnose him. Also, interferons can cause/add to depression, so be aware of that. Good Luck.