Cognitive Impairment - Are My Docs Right???

[reaching]

Hello....

I've been diagnosed with MS for over 10 years. I'm still in my 30s and was recently diagnosed with severe cognitive impairment. I'm a scientist and this information was a blow to me. I wanted to keep working, but I knew that I couldn't keep up with anyone. Plus my Doc said I had the grade level of a 9th grader. Wow. "Me..a Scientist".

So I wanted to transfer to a new position within the same company, but all 3 docs refused that I do this and strongly advised me to apply for long term disability. And so I did...but was denied.

To keep the long story short, I asked my docs to release me to go back to work and they said "NO". So i have no income and no work to go back to. Interesting.

So I was advised by docs to get a lawyer. I did..but can't afford it..cause...again...i was denied for LTD and currently not working...and docs won't release me to go back to work.

So now I'm in the process of appealing... no money...with a family to support.

Sometimes I feel that Docs have it wrong. WHY THE HECK DID I LISTEN TO THEM. I should have kept on working and dealt with the cog issues myself; maybe found a less demanding job or something. Instead I listened to my docs and now I'm in this dark hole.

I don't think Docs know what they're talking about sometimes..and if the do, I think they don't understand the tole it takes on MS patients to go through this darkness...

I'm so lost and just plain sad with all of this. I see depression being in my near future. it's hitting home for me....now i'm lost in this world of "the unknown".

Docs said I can't work...Insurance company said I can...and guess who's stuck to suffer the consequences of all of this....ME. .... AND IT'S KILLING THE VERY CORE THAT KEEPS ME GOING. I'm just so lost and don't know what to do.

Appeal the denial ... yes... but will i live to see tomorrow...who knows..i'm just so STRESSED.

[22cyclist]

Reaching, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. Perhaps you should look into one of those law firms that will not charge you until they win your case. Then set up a payment plan with them so you can pay your debt.

Throughout the recession, many people have faked injuries to gain disability, so they have really cracked down on who gets it and who doesn't. It also depends on your EDSS score from your neurologist.

I wish you the best, having everything taken from you and still trying is an admirable thing.

Take care and let us know how things go, OK?
Lisa

[reaching]

Thanks 22cyclist. yes...I've found an attorney to take my case, and I only pay if i win. What's really bothering me is that I DON'T want to be on disability, but all my Docs think it's the best thing for me to do. I honestly feel like transferring to a different department that is less demanding and with some accommodations, but both Neuro docs think the best thing is for me to go on Long Term Disability. I just want to work. To throw away my all my hard work to be on disability is very hard. I mean, I worked hard to be a senior chemist..a manager, and to have that all taken away from me...I'm giving all that up..and for what? Ohhhh! this is hard..very hard.

[frosty123]

Can Docs

Not let you work if you want to?

I'm confused, did they make you quit your job?

[kellygrn]

Yes docs can say that you can not work in a particular field. As a scientist, I can only imagine what types of research you are doing.

I worked for the government & covered my memory losses by having portraits of gov officials that I talked to & came to see me in my office. When even that didn't help, I agreed it was time to go. I miss the work & human interaction badly.

It has been 10 years.

KK

[reaching]

Yes..frosty123

What happened was that I was having a huge problem processing information at work...it could be anything. Since I'm a chemist/scientist...I was really having a horrible time working. I couldn't even understand when people would tell me about their weekend. For example, when it was time to do presentations, I couldn't read well and would practice for hours (my presentation) just so I could understand what I was reading. So one day, I complained to my therapist, who then let my PCP and Neuro know; afterwhich I was sent to have a cognitive test done...for the second time in 4 years. Well, the test came out that I had SEVERE COGNITIVE IMPAIRMENT.

After the test came out, my docs asked that I take Long Term Disability because of the severity of my impairment. I asked if docs could give me "accommodations" but they said that no accommodation could help with my severity of my cog impairment. So I followed docs orders. I went on Short Term Disability and applied for Long Term Disability.

Well, when I applied for Long Term Disability (LTD), it was denied and my Short Term Disability (STD) had expired by then. So I asked my Doc to "release me" to go back to work and he refused. I told Doc that I didn't want to appeal cause my STD had expired and I need money to survive, but Doc still refused. So I got a lawyer (that I can't afford) and I'm in the process of appealing.

I'm so upset that my doc won't release me to go back to work. My work is willing to accommodate my needs and give me a less demanding job, but my doc is not budging at all. He is certain that I can't work.

So I'm stuck in this rot. I'm appealing a stupid LTD case that I don't want and my STD has expired. I'm beginning to hate my life and hate this MS.

MS has taken everything away from me and I don't think anyone understands; including my doc. He gets to go back to his nice home and family and I need to figure out where my next meal will come from or how I'm going to pay my mortgage.

Any advice???

[Pipes123]

When everything goes wrong at once, it can be really hard to figure out what to do. Learning how to survive with little income is a huge challenge and only you will find the ways that are available to you.

People can help. But advice is tricky because no one but you knows your situation. People will offer advice about one problem. But you know there are many problems that relate to each other. Advice that would work for some people may or may not work for you.

First piece of advice, if friends or family suggest an idea that is wrong for you, don't scare them away. Thank them. They may be able to help with a different problem next time.

Second, ask your doc for a referral to a social worker asap.

Third, if you can find a way, get a second opinion from a doctor on going back to work. There are cognitive relapses that will get better. You don't know yet that your issues are permanent. Even if they are, trying to work will buy you time, get you some money and give you more data about what you can and can't do. Also more evidence for your appeal.

Good luck.

[reaching]

Pipes123

Yes..you're right. I guess (for me) I don't want to listen to what my doctors are saying. I feel like I need to go back to work. Actually I know I have to go back to work. I didn't apply for extra disability insurance and by me going back to work, I can apply for extra disability insurance for the future.

In addition, I've never been given accommodations for MS at work, so now that accommodations are given to me via my work, I'm so mad that my doctor won't release me based on those accommodations. Since he won't release me, I am forced ... FORCED... to appeal the LTD denial...cause I need income.

How can I get my doctor to release me to go back to work?

Why won't my doctor release me..knowing now that my work is giving me some major accommodations?

Why won't he give me a chance to try out the accommodations. I mean, if the accommodations don't work out,then I can leave work and appeal my LTD denial.

All this is just a bit too much for me to take. I'm getting very depressed....VERY DEPRESSED. I find myself starring at nothing for hours...when kids are at school. I find myself hiding in a dark room for hours...just because I can. I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I'm mad and upset..I'm sick and tired...i just want to go back to work.

and the doctor is not letting me. I'm so lost and tired.

A chemist hurt. Can't take this pain at all.

[Dale76]

Pipes123

Yes..you're right. I guess (for me) I don't want to listen to what my doctors are saying. I feel like I need to go back to work. Actually I know I have to go back to work. I didn't apply for extra disability insurance and by me going back to work, I can apply for extra disability insurance for the future.

In addition, I've never been given accommodations for MS at work, so now that accommodations are given to me via my work, I'm so mad that my doctor won't release me based on those accommodations. Since he won't release me, I am forced ... FORCED... to appeal the LTD denial...cause I need income.

How can I get my doctor to release me to go back to work?

Why won't my doctor release me..knowing now that my work is giving me some major accommodations?

Why won't he give me a chance to try out the accommodations. I mean, if the accommodations don't work out,then I can leave work and appeal my LTD denial.

All this is just a bit too much for me to take. I'm getting very depressed....VERY DEPRESSED. I find myself starring at nothing for hours...when kids are at school. I find myself hiding in a dark room for hours...just because I can. I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I'm mad and upset..I'm sick and tired...i just want to go back to work.

and the doctor is not letting me. I'm so lost and tired.

A chemist hurt. Can't take this pain at all.

I not sure I fully understand how you feel, for me my cog fog pretty much makes me useless. Do you have non stop cog fog or just intermitted? For me it hits me hard in the afternoon and I'm useless till after supper.

I just wonder when they say your at a 9th grade level.... How did they determine that and do you agree with that?

Because for me I don't feel like my IQ has dropped but it is more of an "access issue". I can still problem solve like I always could but it takes me much longer to access the needed info in my brain.

I really can't offer you advice, I'm only 28 myself and recently had to stop working and cog fog was a big factor in that for me.

I don't really agree with your doc's, if your employer is aware of your condition and still wants to employ you I don't see the issue. You are the best judge of your abilities and if you can work it is good physical and mental exercise!

[gowiththeflow]

Reaching, very much hear your frustration and pain with situation. I'm sorry to know you are struggling. and wish I had answers. I'm so glad you have family that is sticking by you.

[reaching]

Dale76

You are absolutely right. I don't agree with the doctor and I let him know that. I told him I can solve a math problem if I'm giving the time to do it. It may take me longer...much longer than the average person...but I can do it. I really don't agree with his findings and I'm very vocal about it. I told him I didn't agree with it. To tell you the truth, I was HAPPY when I was denied for LTD cause that would mean that I would need to go back to work.

I'm cog issues are not intermittently. So doc said that the next step would be to appeal, but I don't have the "cash" to do that. I have to work. Even if I were to appeal, and only pay if I win, the 6k-10k will be taken out of my monthly pay until I pay up the lawyer, which means I won't have money to pay my mortgage. In addition, I don't even agree with my doc when it comes to my "9th grade level" IQ. I'm scientist with a Master's degree. It takes me a VERY long time to process information and so forth...I'm not useless, but I can see myself working in a LESS demanding position. I can do it, if I try...I have to try it first. right??? If I can't do it, then I can appeal.

An update to all of this... My doc is thinking of releasing me with 15-20 accommodations since my LTD from my work was denied. I'm hoping all works out for the best when it comes to my health (physically and mentally). I'm just going to sit and wait. My spiritual beliefs makes me want to fight for what is right, and I know I just have to wait and see what path God has set for me in this life.

Thanks..everyone...for your support. I'm going to try to stay strong here. I really pray I make it through this storm. I pray for the best in my life..as God plans my future. I will keep the faith for sure.