As much as I hate that my lower body is weak and my legs don't want to take me too far anymore, the fatigue is by far my worst symptom. I've been on Adderall the past three weeks, and it has perked me up a little (to the point where I can actually get through the day), but the last week has been horrible!
No matter how much sleep I get at night, I've had the hardest time getting up every morning. I feel like a zombie all day long. The Adderall has done nothing for me the past week, and nothing will snap me out of it. Last weekend I went on a road trip and was unable to nap over the weekend like I normally do. I'm starting to think it was from the lack of catch up naps over the weekend that mad this last week so hard for me. Yesterday I slept half the day away and still went to bed before 10 last night.
I'm hoping since I did sleep so much yesterday, I'll be on track to a better week this week, but this is ridiculous. I'm 29 years old and I feel like I'm 80! At this stage in my life, I don't feel like I can work full time anymore. The problem is, my boss (also my dad) will never accept that and he expects that, as long as he's there, I need to be there. If I'm not, then I have to hear about how lazy I am (I still do anyway because everyone seems to think I have it so easy). It's for this reason I've hidden it the best I can, but I just can't keep doing this. I've never felt so miserable in my life, but I don't know of anything I can do to make it better.
I have told my neuro about this (actually, I told him I quit working because I can't handle it), and I swear, it goes in one ear and out the other. Even he basically told me at my last appt to quit making excuses and get out there and do something (in reference to me quitting my workouts when I started working). My family won't listen to me and even my neuro won't listen to me, so here I am, stuck fighting through what feels totally impossible every day. I honestly don't know how I keep making it through, I just do. I have run out of hope and I don't know what to do anymore.
No matter how much sleep I get at night, I've had the hardest time getting up every morning. I feel like a zombie all day long. The Adderall has done nothing for me the past week, and nothing will snap me out of it. Last weekend I went on a road trip and was unable to nap over the weekend like I normally do. I'm starting to think it was from the lack of catch up naps over the weekend that mad this last week so hard for me. Yesterday I slept half the day away and still went to bed before 10 last night.
I'm hoping since I did sleep so much yesterday, I'll be on track to a better week this week, but this is ridiculous. I'm 29 years old and I feel like I'm 80! At this stage in my life, I don't feel like I can work full time anymore. The problem is, my boss (also my dad) will never accept that and he expects that, as long as he's there, I need to be there. If I'm not, then I have to hear about how lazy I am (I still do anyway because everyone seems to think I have it so easy). It's for this reason I've hidden it the best I can, but I just can't keep doing this. I've never felt so miserable in my life, but I don't know of anything I can do to make it better.
I have told my neuro about this (actually, I told him I quit working because I can't handle it), and I swear, it goes in one ear and out the other. Even he basically told me at my last appt to quit making excuses and get out there and do something (in reference to me quitting my workouts when I started working). My family won't listen to me and even my neuro won't listen to me, so here I am, stuck fighting through what feels totally impossible every day. I honestly don't know how I keep making it through, I just do. I have run out of hope and I don't know what to do anymore.
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