relationships and ms

[sunshine008]

hi all!

So, is it just me because relationships when having ms can be a bit challenging....i say this because when we "look" well most of the time, besides being exhausted no one thinks anything is wrong! Classic line, I know.

My other half, who i live with now, my boyfriend also has a disability, from an injury a spinal thing. Yet i often find that I'm doing more, because i'm normally a pusher, and he doesn't really "get" it!

he's even come to neuro appointments, yet still the same..just says take the meds, do the right thing, you'll be fine.

yet one of our big issues is that he doesn't work, and I do..i am a mental health counselor, so i have a pretty light schedule during day yet i am in the field, i also do something else on the side. so at night i really need sleep, and i'm usually in alot of pain so i need a quiet room.he likes to stay up till all hours, so lately i've been sleeping on the couch and getting about 3 hrs a night.

i moved into his existing space about a year ago, so it's hard because its' not "our" space. we've discussed it, and he said he needs to be in bed due to his pain, and lowers tv a bit, yet that isnt' doing it.

we have an extra room i'm thinking about making my own bedroom..yet i know it'll affect us negatively because we've already been struggling a bit..

any ideas??

sleepless in ny

[Kaitar]

When I had my first symptoms starting I lost a lot of sleep. My hubby is also a night owl and snores!

For the last year or so we have been sleeping in separate bedrooms. WONDERFUL decision, no idea why we waited to do it. For your sanity and sleep, I recommend it.

It does sound that a separate sleeping space will not fix all your issues though, hopefully someone else will have something more helpful to add.

[sunshine008]

thanks! he said same, sleep seperately yet i was worried we'd become disconnected etc from it..ya know, like unhealthy for the relationship.

i think i'm going to buy a bed and set the other room up and try it. i'm loosing my mind just laying down there dying while he lays upstairs peacefully. it makes me kinda mad actually....

all our problems, no it won't. the others hopefully will figure themselves out. we were best friends for quite sometime before this transition occured and once it did we flew into together mode. We were always together anyway, yet he's selfish because never been married or lived with anyone so he's like a fish out of water.

meanwhile i've been married,had two kids so i've been to the circus and back!