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    Tired vs Tired

    How do you explain to your family and friends that your "Tired" is not the same as their "Tired"? I happen to make the comment as to how tired I am this morning and my son naturally came back and said "I know how you feel. I am too." So I thought I would pose the question here and see what people have to say.
    Dx'd 4/1/11. First symptoms in 2001. Avonex 4/11, Copaxone 5/12, Tecfidera 4/13 Gilenya 4/14-10/14 Currently on no DMT's, Started Aubagio 9/21/15. Back on Avonex 10/15

    It's hard to beat a person that never gives up.
    Babe Ruth

    #2
    I would check out the fatigue forum here.http://www.msworld.org/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=130

    if you do not find a suitable answer, you can perform a search for the word fatigue. Just click on the word search that is found in the blue line, then click on advanced search and type in fatigue.
    hunterd/HuntOP/Dave
    volunteer
    MS World
    hunterd@msworld.org
    PPMS DX 2001

    "ADAPT AND OVERCOME" - MY COUSIN

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      #3
      My Fatigue?

      It's beyond exhaustion. Every move, thought hurts. Remember Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz in the poppy fields and how hard it hit her, how quickly she feel asleep?

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        #4
        I often tell others, well, it is a different kind of tired. Because of the lesions in my brain, it has to work extra hard making different pathways to do the same things it used to do. It is like your brain is continually running a marathon, with little time to walk a bit.
        Brenda
        Adversity gives you two choices in life: either let it make you bitter, or let it make you better! I choose the latter.

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          #5
          I have tried to explain it like this: picture those orange "detour" signs you see when you're driving (especially this time of year!). It is like those detours exist in the "roads" of my nervous system. Because of the damage there, my nerves are constantly having to make new ways around it to go from Point A to Point B. My nervous system has to work extra hard and new detours are constantly popping up, thus I get increasingly more tired through the years.

          That is how I see it, anyway. I don't get mad at myself anymore for how much I sleep, nor do I feel guilty. My "roads" need to do as much repair work as possible during rest time so I can maintain some quality of life. Of course, sleeping so much does seem to shorten life. That last decade went by really fast !
          Tawanda
          ___________________________________________
          Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 2004; First sign of trouble: 1994

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            #6
            'Fatigue' is associated with many medical conditions and diseases. It is also frequently seen in Neuro diseases.

            Healthy people get tired, those with a variety of illnesses experience fatigue as a sx of disease.

            At lease that's how I distinguish the difference between being tired and fatigued.

            I've mentioned being fatigued just in passing with friends/family and got responses like 'oh, I know what you mean, me too'.

            I don't think it's natural for those who've never experienced fatigue from illness to understand the distinction. It's not my job to explain the difference, I'm too fatigued. The result is usually the explanation is totally lost on the person it's given anyway.

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              #7
              Here's a link you can share so you don't have to expend energy explaining. : P It helped people around me understand and they were more helpful.

              http://www.lamarfreed.net/fatiguems.html

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                #8
                For me, my husband seemed more understanding when I described as like having the flu badly......that kind of worn out, achy, painful, sluggish, don't want to move a muscle tired.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by MSW1963 View Post

                  I've mentioned being fatigued just in passing with friends/family and got responses like 'oh, I know what you mean, me too'.

                  I don't think it's natural for those who've never experienced fatigue from illness to understand the distinction. It's not my job to explain the difference, I'm too fatigued. The result is usually the explanation is totally lost on the person it's given anyway.
                  Good answer.

                  I quit trying to explain the difference, I even quit saying I felt fatigued. I just do what I can and don't do what I can't....I have my "no" if someone asks me somewhere that I know I will not have the energy to attend and I don't offer an explanation. I just reply nicely, saying I'm sorry I can't do "whatever" and leave it at that.

                  You don't want to play illness poker. You can't win on the fatigue argument because as MSW said, they can't "know" how it feels unless they've been chronically ill (doesn't always have to be MS.) I have friends that have gone through chemo and radiation...and they understand fatigue. I read a Richard Cohen blog piece recently and he called those w/out illness the "chronically healthy"...I liked that...but they don't understand because they can't understand.

                  In my experience explaining doesn't do any good, regardless if you're using the spoon theory, or the roaches eating the wires explanation...you can't comprehend unless you've had it. Now that doesn't mean you can't have sympathy or be supportive...just means they can't know what you're talking about unless they've experienced it.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by MSW1963 View Post
                    It's not my job to explain the difference, I'm too fatigued.
                    loved this!
                    Tawanda
                    ___________________________________________
                    Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 2004; First sign of trouble: 1994

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                      #11
                      I usually just say, its cry tired... as in all i want to do is cry at this point b/c the thought of doing anything (including eat) makes me want to cry... a bit dramatic, but accurate on those really bad days.

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                        #12
                        to bubbless

                        you nailed it.. thanks for the words. I am going to use them

                        karen
                        You are in the driver's seat, but God is holding the map

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                          #13
                          I read a statement from someone on the internet (could have been here) that actually says how I feel and makes others pay attention as well.

                          Go for 3 nights without any sleep and add jetlag into the mix. That's how I feel.
                          What if trials of this life
                          Are Your mercies in disguise?
                          "Blessings; Laura Story"

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Several responses to this thread are missing...

                            For example, response #8?, mine = MSW1963, plus a few other responses:

                            'Fatigue' is associated with many medical conditions and diseases. It is also frequently seen in Neuro diseases.

                            Healthy people get tired, those with a variety of illnesses experience fatigue as a sx of disease.

                            At lease that's how I distinguish the difference between being tired and fatigued.

                            I've mentioned being fatigued just in passing with friends/family and got responses like 'oh, I know what you mean, me too'.

                            I don't think it's natural for those who've never experienced fatigue from illness to understand the distinction. It's not my job to explain the difference, I'm too fatigued. The result is usually the explanation is totally lost on the person it's given anyway.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I don't even try..

                              But, if I do need to say how my condition of energy is, it's generally with a purpose.

                              I have three main levels of expressing my state of "tired" and I try to use them appropriately. This helps save me the frustration of other people's confusion.

                              Tired = Normal everyday tired. It's late and I'm tired. It's been a long day and I'm tired. We stayed up too late last night and I'm tired. You're tired, I'm tired, we're all tired. With this statement, I fully expect a "Me too" response. Like small talk and kind-of like commenting on the weather.

                              Exhausted or Worn out = This for me is usually MS related but only because I reach this level quicker then a healthly person. While my husband might be able to work around the yard for a couple of hours before becoming exhausted, I usually feel that way after 30 minutes. This is reserved for informing someone that I need to stop whatever I'm doing and will be MIA for a while. My family is used to this so all I have to say is I'm going to take my rest now. They know this generally means I need to lay down for at least 20-30 minutes to recharge my batteries.

                              Completely wiped out = This is my MS full blown debilitating fatigued. This is surely what a train wreck hit and run victim must feel like (had they survived). I feel like I just spent the day with a kindergarten class at Disney World and somehow they will have to carry me back to the bus . This fatigue is very painful and often makes me cry. Oh crap this level means I'm probably in a flare or one is coming on. I save this for my husband to update him on my condition. My doctor because they need to know. If I feel this way at work, I just say I need to go home sick, its FMLA.

                              And while it can be frustrating to not have people understand, I'm also glad they don't. If they did, then it would probably be because they had it. And that would suck.

                              I also try my best to be sensitive to other people when they try to express to me that they are tired or their feet hurt, etc.. While it's a knee jerk reaction for me to say "What the heck do you think I deal with 24-7!?". I try to remember that they are just trying to express how they feel and are reaching out about it. This conversation is about them. Not about me.

                              I agree with rdmc. I try to do what I can and don't do what I can't. I think this is one of the most challenging lessons we struggle to learn and remember with this disease. Our limits and respect for those limits. I am not always good at this as I am often accused of being stubborn.

                              We also have the issue of our symptoms being so difficult to describe to others. I struggle with this even with my doctor.

                              Sometimes it seems like such a lonely condition. Even while we have each other on these forums or in person at support groups, it's still so different for each of us. We are unique as people, unique to have MS, and unique within our MS.
                              Dx - Jan 2005
                              1st Symptoms - Dec 2004
                              Currently treatment - Tefidera (6/14) & LDN (4/09)
                              Past treatments: Copaxone, Rebif, Avonex, Solumedrol IV, Prednisone

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