Good Lord. Home from work, at ten past five, expecting to find a nice clean house.
Instead I find an utterly drunk cleaning "lady", with a glass of red wine in her hand, and an empty bottle on the table, and another open on the sink.
"Um, what are you doing?" I ask.
"Oh, Shanee, Shanee, I've just got a bit to do in the bathroom, and I'll be gone.."
"Um, okay, I suppose..."
An HOUR later, she's still banging around in the bathroom, tottering out every now and then, precarious half full glass in hand to tell me the horror story that has driven her to drink. (Slightly sore knee.)
I rang her son and said, "Please come and get your mother, she's a bit, um, ah, unwell."
"Rum or wine?" he asked. Ah ha.
He and I then sat and watched the news on TV, ?!?, until this woman, who I never, ever, suspected was an alcoholic until today, finally finished.
Unreliable, yes. Not much of a cleaner, yes. Drunk on the job, no.
This may explain why the tops of higher surfaces were never dusted.
As she finally staggered out the front door, she gave me a kiss and told me she really, really, really, burp, loved me because I was so understanding. Yep, good, go home, don't fall down the stairs.
I'm the one who looks like I'm drunk when I walk, which is why I have to pay for a cleaner.
And to think I always tidy up before she comes!
Instead I find an utterly drunk cleaning "lady", with a glass of red wine in her hand, and an empty bottle on the table, and another open on the sink.
"Um, what are you doing?" I ask.
"Oh, Shanee, Shanee, I've just got a bit to do in the bathroom, and I'll be gone.."
"Um, okay, I suppose..."
An HOUR later, she's still banging around in the bathroom, tottering out every now and then, precarious half full glass in hand to tell me the horror story that has driven her to drink. (Slightly sore knee.)
I rang her son and said, "Please come and get your mother, she's a bit, um, ah, unwell."
"Rum or wine?" he asked. Ah ha.
He and I then sat and watched the news on TV, ?!?, until this woman, who I never, ever, suspected was an alcoholic until today, finally finished.
Unreliable, yes. Not much of a cleaner, yes. Drunk on the job, no.
This may explain why the tops of higher surfaces were never dusted.
As she finally staggered out the front door, she gave me a kiss and told me she really, really, really, burp, loved me because I was so understanding. Yep, good, go home, don't fall down the stairs.
I'm the one who looks like I'm drunk when I walk, which is why I have to pay for a cleaner.
And to think I always tidy up before she comes!
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