Patient and caregiver

[marti]

I'm sorry to bring this to you all, but I am so worked up I don't know what to do.

My husband is a patient with the VA. His memory is kind of fuzzy and he just depends on me to take care of all the details. I think he CAN do it, but just won't. He is getting his meds mixed up. Part of this is because the VA system is changing some of his meds and not really explaining everything and part is that he is not getting the details straight. He doesn't listen carefully because he has me along to do that. Heaven help me, I am so tired of this. But I know it is my responsibility.

I can barely keep my own meds straight. And I'm tired, tired, tired and in pain and having a hard time keeping myself together.

Just a vent. Maybe someone else can advise me about being a "secretary" to a patient while trying to hold it together in my own illnesses.

[Andy75]

Hi Marti,

I understand how you are feeling. My father has Alzheimer's and it very difficult to assist him, take him to his appointments, cope with his paranoia, etc.

I wish I could give some advice, but I just wanted to say that I understand.

[heliotrope]

Unfortunately, been there, done that.


Do you qualify for any sort of home care for him? The reason I ask is that it can become the nurse's responsibility to keep track of his meds.

If not, stop his doc/nurse before you leave the office. Explain that you need help organizing his meds. Have them make a chart for you. Use that to fill a pill counter. They come with multiple doses per day (I actually use one myself).

Write everything down. That's the only way to survive.

[mercadies25]

I have the nurse write it up. Tell the nurse to write what kind, how much etc.....

I get confused myself and after I leave my docs. office it's impossible to get a straight answer. So I make them write every thing down.


The may not like it but we pay their salaries and we could use all the help we can get.

Good Luck!!!!

[Kaitar]

Alternative

I've been my sister's care giver for several years. I do a couple of things to keep life easy.

Once a month I fill up her pill cases. There are 4, one for each week with pills broken up into am/pm etc. I use a list I made the doctor's office write up. They are all labeled. If she misses something then I know what day, which pills.

When we go to the doctor, I do take notes. I also record the visit on my phone. Most phones will audio/video record now. It allows you to play it back later to be sure you caught everything. Before I had a smartphone I used a little tape recorder I used in college.

I used a little notebook on me at all times. In it I write down the things I think of or notes of symptoms for between office visits. I use my phone for this now too with cloud storage backup.

I hope this helps some. Good luck and hang in there.