Frustration with cognitve issues

[Teresa D]

Recently I have felt as though my cognitive issues are tearing me apart. I am 24 years old and just feel stuck. My job sometimes makes me feel like a complete idiot. Things will happen such as me needing to type in a long number, I'll be looking at the number, saying the number in my head but I type something completely different. Then I need to call for help from others above me to correct whatever I messed up. I just feel like an idiot constantly needing people to clean up after me.

I moved back in to my parents house a few years ago and now I feel like I will never leave. I just can't mentally handle to work anymore than I do. And as a result I also feel like I'll never be able to afford moving.

This is also my first time posting on this site, I have never really spoken with other people who have MS. I guess I am just having a frustrating week and was wondering how others dealt with their cognitive issues.

[Chowda]

Hi Teresa! Welcome!

I'm new to all this MS stuff too. This forum has been tons of real, and sometimes tangible, help. So its really good to ask whatever questions you want.
I guess we can both relate, I'm 28, under 30 years club.

I actually came to this part of the forum to ask very similar things.

Using the wrong words, I've heard that happens. I too have been typing completely random words sometimes, like out of no where.
Just today I was sending a txt to my friend and I wanted to type 'learn' but typed 'Iran'. Not too new to me and the keys are kind close so maybe it was some weird muscle memory?

And then earlier today my mom asked me to put something in the fruit bowl and I put it in a pen holder thing.
Later I was done eating dinner and was to wipe the remaining sauce+stuff into the compost. I was putting the whole plate in! Realized though. Some other things have been happening for months. Nothing big and its rare, just really weird and I want to know if I'm losing it or if MS jobbles up even your thought process.

And sorry I don't mean to hijack your thread! I just figured we're both trying to understand the same thing.

So everyone, please address Teresa's question first if you don't believe these two things are related.

Oh, and I too had moved back with my parents a few years ago pre-dx.
And dx means diagnosed. I'm learning

[naiyve]

Sorry you are so frustrated! My situation is a little different, I am 49 and have been a nurse for 27 yrs. I was diagnosed with MS in January, but the neurologist thinks I've had it for 15-20 yrs. it was the cognitive issues that finally scared me enough to seek help.

I use the wrong words, forget what I'm talking about and have trouble multitasking (bad news for a NICU nurse) and problem solving or thinking

[naiyve]

Ok didn't get that finished and hit post button lol! What was I saying?

Oh yea, lol starting to consider alternative employments. Went to the local community college yesterday for academic advising within my capabilities. Weird starting over! Lol my tests said be a Dr, now that's scary lol! But it also said graphic design and counseling.....we'll see...

You might try first writing everything down sometimes writing it makes it stick. Or worse case scenario (like me)
Look at a second career?

I wish you all the best! Hang in there!!

[Maytay]

Cog Fog (Cognitive Fog)/Disability Advice

I have episodes where I too say, type or text nonsensical words/sentences. In conversation, I will stutter, can't find the right words, forget where I was going with the topic and sometimes, just flat out and abruptly stop talking mid-sentence. My family and friends are used to it and finish my sentences for me.

It is very embarrassing when I'm in a cog fog and trying to talk to doctors, school officials, cashiers, and mostly anyone who doesn't know my condition.

Up until 1 year ago Monday, I had a great job, great benefits, company car, worked on a lake and outside for the most part. 60% of my job was working with the public. I started to avoid that part of my job as much as possible. My secretary knew my condition and covered for me as much as she could.

My company finally retired me on Long Term Disability last year. Not social security benefits, it was my company's private disability insurance. I can't say enough about how important it is to sign up for that benefit, if it's offered. Sure, I paid for that coverage for 15 years, not even having a clue that I would actually use that benefit. Whew!

I now receive 66 2/3rds of my salary. I am almost 44 and I will receive these checks until I'm 65. Some companies will pay for 50% of LTD benefits, but I bought up to the 66 2/3rds. I'm telling you, if you are still working full time, look into your company's LTD plan and disability insurance.

Right before I left, we had just filled a position. The new guy is a few years younger than me and had 2 young girls. He actually worked as a "laborer" cleaning up our park sites. He asked my assistance in helping him sign up for his benefits. I encouraged him to get that disability plan b/c you "never know".

I returned a few months ago to visit my co-workers and asked him if he had taken my advice during open enrollment. He didn't so, I just reminded him to look at my situation and that my family could not have survived on my husband's salary alone. Also, we have 1 in college and 2 in college next year.

I would also like to say that I feel very lucky that things fell into place like they did. I never dreamed I would be in this situation! I don't want anyone thinking that I don't thank my lucky stars every single day. Of course, I know a lot of other MSers who aren't on SS Disabilty and/or receive any other type of financial assistance. I think of you guys everyday and hope that you will find some help in the very near future. Also, apply/apply/apply for Social Security Disability or any other plan that would cover you if you can't work anymore. Good health to everyone!

[kelm10]

LTD

I, too, opted up my LTD %. I was able to up to 75% of my wage. I get SSDI, and my LTD pays the rest up to the 75% of my salary based on the last 5 years of my employment. It cost me $.91 per pay period, which was every two weeks. Well worth the investment. I knew that I was dependent on my salar, so opted up as soon as I could.

[kelm10]

medication and suggestions

There are many things that can contribute to your cognitive function.

Make sure that you are getting the sleep that you need. Maybe, even a sleep study.

There are suppliments: Alpha Lipoic Acid and Acety-l-carnitine that some that some claim mental sharpness and fatigue are helped with.

There are also prescription medication that can help.

There is also many people that live on their own with disability if that is the route that you have to go. You just may have to watch spending habits.

[Maytay]

Writing Notes to Yourself

Yes, I have about 20 sticky notes at any given time on my coffee table. I even started taking a full size notepad and just make lists and ideas and whatnot. Because if I don't write them down at the moment that I think about it, I will forget it in 30 seconds or less.

Usually, every 2 weeks, I will consolidate my notes and start with a new page. It's funny how many of my notes get transferred to "the new page". I.E. I have things on my lists that don't get done for weeks or months. But as long as it's in writing, it eventually gets done.

I recently found a sticky note that had somehow gotten pushed under the clutter and I realized that I didn't follow thru with refinancing our mortgage. I added it to my fresh list and in a month, I saved us $300 a month on house payments. So, literally, writing it down means it will be fresh in my mind each time I read it. Not embarrassed at all when people come over....this is my new normal.

[Chowda]

I have episodes where I too say, type or text nonsensical words/sentences. In conversation, I will stutter, can't find the right words, forget where I was going with the topic and sometimes, just flat out and abruptly stop talking mid-sentence. My family and friends are used to it and finish my sentences for me.

Holy !!

This is exactly me, except for people finishing my sentences, they know I just need a few extra seconds.

So this is cod fog? This really opens my eyes. At least now I know this behaviour is probably just one of these... Things.

[Maytay]

SSDI experience sealing my fate?

This is a follow up about my LTD benefits from my company. Even though I've secured my benefits, I am also required to file for SSDI. If I'm approved, my company will reduce payments by the amount I am awarded.
If I don't receive SSDI, my company will reduce my payments by the amount I "should" have received from SSDI.

Great, so I've been working for weeks on getting all of my records together and answer a gazillion questions on the application. I've been warned that the first time around, most applications are denied. So, you have 2 more chances to appeal. After the 3rd time, that's pretty much it!

I just got a letter from SSDI requiring a mental exam by "their" psychologist. Appt already made for me, how nice. I marked the time/date on my calendar. Then, I was cleaning up my post it notes and other mail on the table and re-read the letter to make sure I had the appt time right. The second page was a "Appt Reply Letter" and I found that I was suppose to sign the letter agreeing that I did intend on going to the appt and mail it back them. Well, I got the letter Tues and found out on Wed that I had to mail that letter to them before my appt. Well, my appt is Mon. I panicked and immediately signed the letter and prayed that the mail would be on time and get the letter to them.

I was having cog and balance issues Wed. So, when I headed out the front door, in a panic, I opened our storm door and my feet just stopped but my body kept going and I fell FLAT ON MY FACE onto the front porch. No major injuries, just really sore. I guess busting my butt to get the letter to them in time is a threat to my health!Hmmmm......

[Temagami]

If you don´t apply or if you don´t receive SSDI the LTD will be decreased by what you "should" have gotten?

I read through my LTD policy- sounded great until I got to the part that said that once the annual amount reached 80% (due to 3% annual increases) of my pay, all benefits would stop. That brings it to 10 years of coverage, NOT to retirement age. They´ve got it all figured out in their favor.

[MarySunshine]

Holy !!

This is exactly me, except for people finishing my sentences, they know I just need a few extra seconds.

So this is cod fog? This really opens my eyes. At least now I know this behaviour is probably just one of these... Things.

There was a whole episode of "House" with a guy who had dysphasia. There's also aphasia. I don't know if this is what you are experiencing, though. A neuro could help.

[Maytay]

Update on "mental exam" with SSDI

I had my mental exam with SSDI this past week. It wasn't what I expected. The psychologist, we'll call her "Dr" was very pleasant. She asked me what a typical day/week/month was for me. I was very honest about my answers. I couldn't sleep at night if I embellished or lied about my condition.

I spent a lot of my time telling her what a huge loss it was for me to lose my job. How I worked so hard to put myself back in college while working full-time and a single mom of 2 toddlers. How I struggled to finish my degree and had come so far to the have my dream job. It was devastating.

Yes, I am still grieving the loss of my job and trying to accept my DX. The Dr was unbelievably kind and understanding. She asked me if I had any source of income besides my LTD with my company. I told her my husband (2nd marriage) worked full time.

She told me that it was so refreshing to talk to someone who has struggled and paid into the "system" all these years and am actually grieving the loss of my job. She said she sees so many people who have never worked prior to DX and other sources of income in the family is welfare and food stamps.

Basically, she's more eager to help people who are helping themselves. Almost a hint that I've earned my way to receive these benefits.

I hope I'm not offending anyone b/c every case is unique. People have real health problems, financial problems, family problems, that would render them helpless to "help themselves". I think most of us have experienced some sort of helplessness during their lifetime. I know I have, many times.

I don't know if she will press to have my case approved over anyone else. My point is, if you are in this situation, dig really deep and bring out all of the things that you have done/achieved up until this point. Let them know you are not milking the system and what your plans were for your future before DX. Of course, don't embellish or lie. She said she could tell a mile away when people lie to her.

I really think it helps for people to share these experiences. I know I have learned ALOT from reading these message boards! Good Health to All!

[carolynj]

I can totally identify with "feeling like an idiot". I can be looking at someone straight in the face, them talking and I lapse into Charlie Brown land...... wanh....wanh....wanh (spelling beats me!!). And I am very conscious of the fact that I have no clue what they are saying! Then of course, I get nervous about how I am going to respond!!
Cog fog? Is this part of it?
Recall of instructions - more than 1 at a time - doesn't happen. When I realize someone is going to tell me more than 1 thing - out comes the pencil and paper!
Cog Fog?
Very frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it is happening more and more! I realize also, the less comfortable I feel with the person, the problem is worse.

[naiyve]

Better living through chemistry!??!

I went to my MS specialist and told her that I really needed help with my cognitive issues and that I was considering changing careers it was so bad. I told her that I felt like I had really bad ADD, unable to finish anything, problem solve or multitask, just couldn't focus at all.

She said that that is exactly what MS cog issues are like adult ADD. She put me on Nuvigil, said it should help me focus and even take care of some of the fatigue.

Wow, not sure if it would work for everyone, but I am MUCH better. I can focus, I can stay on task, no more searching for right words, no more difficulty with speech/language at all. I am perikier (is that a real word?) and have energy!

My daughters (18 and 21yr olds) say I am more like my old self.

I don't know if it would help everyone, we are all different, but for what it's worth, it has helped me a great deal!