Next year: homeschool or not?

[readingteacher]

This has been an issue for us since last year. Apparently, it is still an issue. I really feel like it is best for my dd if she is home schooled again next year. My husband feels differently. We just can't seem to view things in the same way.

The odd thing is that my husband kept saying, and still says, that his real concern is that my MS will interfere. Since I went off of DMDs, I have actually felt better than I have in a long time. I did have a cold/sinus thing earlier, but I praise God for answering my prayer about being free from any flares during the school year.

My biggest health issues have been dealing with back pain and fatigue. I am beginning to feel that he is concerned that my need for rest, during the day, is interfering with her education. I've started trying to take my Provigil in the morning and in early afternoon, as opposed to taking a nap after lunch.

My other big concerns have been my dd's difficulties with constipation and/or diarrhea, since she was very impacted in October/November. It's been exhausting to keep reminding her to drink water during the day, just to see her occasionally go a day or so not drinking enough. Then, she really has to spend a lot of time in the bathroom.

In addition to that, she has had a lot of problems with being very gassy. I realize that a high fiber diet can have that effect, but it's really bad; so bad that she was beginning to be teased in the 5th grade last year. There was no way I was going to subject her to earning that kind of reputation her first year of middle school.

We thought we had the solution, when she seemed to do better when she drank my dad's Lactaid milk. We just assumed that she must be lactose intolerant. Last week's L. intolerance test proved otherwise.

So, here we are again, finding that 2 family members (my son and myself) think she should have another year of home school, while the other 2 think she should go to the middle school next year. That's right; my dd has decided that it's "just not right for her." Of course, her reasoning is flawed and influenced by her being behind in some areas. However, she would not have been able to go through the recuperation time it took to overcome being severely impacted in her bowels/colon if she'd been attending the local middle school. Her online teachers and the guidance counselor have been extremely understanding and have been so easy to work with on making up assignments and/or catching up.

I am open to whatever the Lord shows us to be best for her. I just still think that her health issues are going to be a major problem in the busy middle school schedule. I am praying that my dh and I will be in agreement over what is best (and that my dd will be willing to do whatever we decide is best for her). For those of you who pray, will you please join me in praying about this?

[Kimba22]

Hi readingteacher,

I'm very sorry to hear about the dilemma regarding your daughter's schooling. I understand where you are coming from, as I have a child in middle school right now. You already know the flexibility she's had as a homeschooler won't be there at the middle school. It doesn't take much to fall behind, and any work that isn't completed on time is a zero. That can hurt the best of grades. Sounds like a miserable price to pay when her bowels get messed up. And I wouldn't want to subject her to earning "that" reputation, either. (Has she ever tried something like Beano? It might be worth a shot.)

I'm also sorry to hear about your back pain and fatigue. Have you ever been given a reason for your back pain? I've also dealt with the same thing for years (it was the symptom that finally got my doctor's attention and led to my dx). Some bad gait patterns and significant spasticity contributes to mine. A physical therapist might be able to shed some light as to the cause of your pain, and work with you to relieve it. And it sounds like your fatigue gets pretty debilitating, especially if you need to take Provigil twice during the day so you can function. ( Has your doctor ever tried prescribing you a higher dose? Maybe you wouldn't have to take it twice during the day then ... ) You must be wiped out by the evening, after your Provigil wears off again. And, as counterproductive as it sounds, there's quite a bit of research that shows exercise helps fight fatigue in MS.

It is important to consider what would happen if you had another flare. The fact you aren't on a DMD might just be adding to your husbands worries, and I'm sorry to hear the ones you've been on only made you feel worse. I had a really bad flare that set me on a path that included multiple hospitalizations and several months of inpatient rehab. Even after I was finally sent home, I spent several more months in out-patient rehab. It was a challenging time not only for me, but for my family. My daughter had to become very responsible with her studies during that time, basically overnight. It's a good thing she was relying on me for her education.

I hope both you and your husband will come to an agreement that is best for both you and your daughter. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-

You are in my prayers.