Greetings.
This is my first post in this community.
I'll try to be as brief as possible before moving onto my actual question(s).
My husband has a brand new diagnosis, but we suspected MS months ago. He presented with optic neuritis and electrical shock pain, but there were no lesions at that time, so they gave him massive IV steroids, sent him on his way and told him he might have MS; he might not. Time would tell. In the meantime I believe he went into remission due to the steroids.
But the pain stayed with him. We thought the pain could be due to the titanium plate he has in his back (he was a police lieutenant, injured in the line of duty), so we plowed through it. He started seeing a pain management doctor and eventually decided he didn't like the way the pain meds made him feel--and he's been dealing with the pain on his own for approximately three years now.
I'm relating all of this so that one can see why I overlooked the personality changes...which is what has driven me to online searches in the middle of the night...while my husband sleeps.
Soon after the optic neuritis flare-up my husband began to do and say things I had never seen him do or say (we had been married for many years before the optic neuritis presentation). One night, he threatened to shoot our cat, and I only stopped him by throwing myself in front of the door so he couldn't go out and shoot her. I told myself that he was upset about his vision changes, and the significant pain he was in. But it was just the beginning. He began making risky decisions and lost $40,000 a few months later. I overlooked that too. He had retired from the police dept. by this time due to his injury, but I felt so relieved when he did retire, because I knew something else was going on--I just didn't know what. I tried telling myself (successfully for awhile) that my husband was in severe pain and was no longer able to cope with the daily struggles of life.
Since the optic neuritis, my husband has had long periods (2-4 mos.) of time when he seemed alright, but these times of peace were punctuated by periods of irrational anger, hyper-vigilance, severe anxiety, panic attacks, verbal outbursts, extreme swearing (highly offensive words) and a lack of inhibition.
About six months go, I began to realize that we were in one loooong period of emotional outbursts and irrational anger. I have quietly cried myself to sleep so many times (I have to be quiet because my husband will become agitated if he hears me cry). Memories of the wonderful man I used to know torment me.
But the most unusual thing I have noticed is that my husband's outbursts, irrationality and cognitive fog seem to be significantly pronounced at night. It's reminiscent of sundowning--but I looked up sundowners syndrome and that's not what he has.
So (finally) here are my questions:
-Has anyone ever heard of MS effecting significant emotional changes (before diagnosis--I'm not talking about depression), and severe personality changes? The information online seems to be...selective and limited.
-Is there anyone out there with similar experiences?
-Has anyone ever had personal experience with a spouse or loved one who demonstrated a significant increase in personality/cognitive issues in the evening?
-Is there a possibility that my husband's emotional/cognitive issues will worsen? (This is one of my greatest fears.)
-Lastly, how do I cope with the depression that is constantly threatening to engulf me? I love my husband, but I find myself trying to stay away from him (which upsets him and only exacerbates his foul moods).
I'm profoundly sad...
Thank you for reading.
Janie
This is my first post in this community.
I'll try to be as brief as possible before moving onto my actual question(s).
My husband has a brand new diagnosis, but we suspected MS months ago. He presented with optic neuritis and electrical shock pain, but there were no lesions at that time, so they gave him massive IV steroids, sent him on his way and told him he might have MS; he might not. Time would tell. In the meantime I believe he went into remission due to the steroids.
But the pain stayed with him. We thought the pain could be due to the titanium plate he has in his back (he was a police lieutenant, injured in the line of duty), so we plowed through it. He started seeing a pain management doctor and eventually decided he didn't like the way the pain meds made him feel--and he's been dealing with the pain on his own for approximately three years now.
I'm relating all of this so that one can see why I overlooked the personality changes...which is what has driven me to online searches in the middle of the night...while my husband sleeps.
Soon after the optic neuritis flare-up my husband began to do and say things I had never seen him do or say (we had been married for many years before the optic neuritis presentation). One night, he threatened to shoot our cat, and I only stopped him by throwing myself in front of the door so he couldn't go out and shoot her. I told myself that he was upset about his vision changes, and the significant pain he was in. But it was just the beginning. He began making risky decisions and lost $40,000 a few months later. I overlooked that too. He had retired from the police dept. by this time due to his injury, but I felt so relieved when he did retire, because I knew something else was going on--I just didn't know what. I tried telling myself (successfully for awhile) that my husband was in severe pain and was no longer able to cope with the daily struggles of life.
Since the optic neuritis, my husband has had long periods (2-4 mos.) of time when he seemed alright, but these times of peace were punctuated by periods of irrational anger, hyper-vigilance, severe anxiety, panic attacks, verbal outbursts, extreme swearing (highly offensive words) and a lack of inhibition.
About six months go, I began to realize that we were in one loooong period of emotional outbursts and irrational anger. I have quietly cried myself to sleep so many times (I have to be quiet because my husband will become agitated if he hears me cry). Memories of the wonderful man I used to know torment me.
But the most unusual thing I have noticed is that my husband's outbursts, irrationality and cognitive fog seem to be significantly pronounced at night. It's reminiscent of sundowning--but I looked up sundowners syndrome and that's not what he has.
So (finally) here are my questions:
-Has anyone ever heard of MS effecting significant emotional changes (before diagnosis--I'm not talking about depression), and severe personality changes? The information online seems to be...selective and limited.
-Is there anyone out there with similar experiences?
-Has anyone ever had personal experience with a spouse or loved one who demonstrated a significant increase in personality/cognitive issues in the evening?
-Is there a possibility that my husband's emotional/cognitive issues will worsen? (This is one of my greatest fears.)
-Lastly, how do I cope with the depression that is constantly threatening to engulf me? I love my husband, but I find myself trying to stay away from him (which upsets him and only exacerbates his foul moods).
I'm profoundly sad...
Thank you for reading.
Janie
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