Back ground: I'm a 34 year old single parent and my daughter will be 8 in two weeks. I've been sick for 4 years and don't have any other real support system other than my daughter. We are pretty much on our own, no friends, only family around is my mom and she really doesn't too much to help other than watching Alyvia when I can't get home in time to get her from school.
I was blessed with a extremely well behaved child. I think in part to my illness, she is also very compassionate. She has helped me from the beginning but the past 2 years she has taken on a huge care taking role. I get worse every year.
A few examples of how she cares for me:
Helps me dress and undress.
Brushes my hair
Walks me around the house when I am too wobbly to walk on my own.
Sits in the bathroom while I shower in case I fall.
Gets me food and drink when walking is too hard.
Cleans up the house when I'm too fatigued or in pain.
She does all sorts of stuff throughout the day, put groceries away, picks up things I can't, every day she is helping me one way or another.
And the biggest thing is when I'm curled up in a ball crying in pain she jumps in my bed, rubs my head and back and asks what she can do to help. Heating pad, ice etc.
I try my best to hold back tears in front of her but sometimes it's plainly unavoidable.
Lately I have felt so bad for her having to do all of this. Although right now she seems to not be bothered by it at all and it seems to make her feel good about being able to help her mom but I'm afraid of what it's putting her through, because it can't all be good.
I got quite a few books that we have read together about mommy being sick to help her understand why things are the way they are. She seems to have a great understanding of my illness although sometimes I have to remind her when I am a little snappy, it's not her, it's just what pain does sometimes.
I try to do all I can so she isn't missing out in the important mommy daughter time and to make sure she has fun, we just have to improvise. We do a lot of crafts while I can be comfortable in bed at the same time. We look up stuff like crazy on my laptop when she is interested in new things. For her birthday in two weeks she's getting a sewing machine so I can teach her how to sew. She is real excited about that.
So all in all we have an EXCELLENT relationship and for that I'm very grateful.
I am just so worried that this will start to have a negative effect later in life for her. Is there something I should do differently now? What other options are there? I have looked into in home supportive services in my area but I don't qualify unless I get disability and I'm not approved for it yet. I also need a surgery that will leave totally disabled for at least 4 months so I can't even have that done because I wouldn't be able to get her to school.
I'm just looking for advice or to here from others in my situation that their children are in their teen years now to see how it affected them. Am I doing all or the best I can given the circumstances or what should I change?
Thanks everyone!
I was blessed with a extremely well behaved child. I think in part to my illness, she is also very compassionate. She has helped me from the beginning but the past 2 years she has taken on a huge care taking role. I get worse every year.
A few examples of how she cares for me:
Helps me dress and undress.
Brushes my hair
Walks me around the house when I am too wobbly to walk on my own.
Sits in the bathroom while I shower in case I fall.
Gets me food and drink when walking is too hard.
Cleans up the house when I'm too fatigued or in pain.
She does all sorts of stuff throughout the day, put groceries away, picks up things I can't, every day she is helping me one way or another.
And the biggest thing is when I'm curled up in a ball crying in pain she jumps in my bed, rubs my head and back and asks what she can do to help. Heating pad, ice etc.
I try my best to hold back tears in front of her but sometimes it's plainly unavoidable.
Lately I have felt so bad for her having to do all of this. Although right now she seems to not be bothered by it at all and it seems to make her feel good about being able to help her mom but I'm afraid of what it's putting her through, because it can't all be good.
I got quite a few books that we have read together about mommy being sick to help her understand why things are the way they are. She seems to have a great understanding of my illness although sometimes I have to remind her when I am a little snappy, it's not her, it's just what pain does sometimes.
I try to do all I can so she isn't missing out in the important mommy daughter time and to make sure she has fun, we just have to improvise. We do a lot of crafts while I can be comfortable in bed at the same time. We look up stuff like crazy on my laptop when she is interested in new things. For her birthday in two weeks she's getting a sewing machine so I can teach her how to sew. She is real excited about that.
So all in all we have an EXCELLENT relationship and for that I'm very grateful.
I am just so worried that this will start to have a negative effect later in life for her. Is there something I should do differently now? What other options are there? I have looked into in home supportive services in my area but I don't qualify unless I get disability and I'm not approved for it yet. I also need a surgery that will leave totally disabled for at least 4 months so I can't even have that done because I wouldn't be able to get her to school.
I'm just looking for advice or to here from others in my situation that their children are in their teen years now to see how it affected them. Am I doing all or the best I can given the circumstances or what should I change?
Thanks everyone!
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