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12 yrs is a longtime with no sex

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    12 yrs is a longtime with no sex

    Hi I am married and ever since MS came on the man park does not or has not worked .Was 40 when this happed ,sure miss the heavy sex. Now I have zero interest in it? Why try when nothing happens? Yes have done the big V pills in the day.

    #2
    have you mention this to your neurologist? Your neurologist will probably refer you to a urologist and the urologist is a person that will have the answers for this.
    hunterd/HuntOP/Dave
    volunteer
    MS World
    hunterd@msworld.org
    PPMS DX 2001

    "ADAPT AND OVERCOME" - MY COUSIN

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      #3
      Originally posted by hunterd View Post
      have you mention this to your neurologist? Your neurologist will probably refer you to a urologist and the urologist is a person that will have the answers for this.
      Yes I have many times he say's it is because of the meds. I take and the urologist did the blood test.

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        #4
        That sure blows up the theory, 'sex is between the ears!"fed

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          #5
          There are a number of treatments available besides Erectile Dysfunction pills. By "the blood test" I figure you mean testosterone level? There are other causes of ED besides low testosterone, and even medication side effects leading to ED can be treated by other means.

          Without getting too clinical here, there are devices and medications (besides Viagra and the like) that improve blood flow to the penis, improving sexual function. You may want to ask your urologist about these possibilities.

          "Losing interest" may be a totally separate problem (depression or other emotional challenges are common in MS), but if there is no interest because nothing works, maybe some other avenues to getting things to work will revive the interest.

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            #6
            Originally posted by onlyairfare View Post
            There are a number of treatments available besides Erectile Dysfunction pills. By "the blood test" I figure you mean testosterone level? There are other causes of ED besides low testosterone, and even medication side effects leading to ED can be treated by other means.

            Without getting too clinical here, there are devices and medications (besides Viagra and the like) that improve blood flow to the penis, improving sexual function. You may want to ask your urologist about these possibilities.

            "Losing interest" may be a totally separate problem (depression or other emotional challenges are common in MS), but if there is no interest because nothing works, maybe some other avenues to getting things to work will revive the interest.
            No depression here all is good there.The meds I take are the problem. What good would other devices do if the bell ringer (:-/) only makes it half way up the pole after being touched? I have talked many a times about this to doc's. and understand that part is of my MS . Yes blood test for testosterone level is what I was going to say. All is good I don't lose sleep over it.

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              #7
              OK, I am a female, so my experience with this is "indirect," and this is a somewhat clinical and graphic discussion.

              The penis gets erect during sex because more blood flows into it than out, so it becomes hard. There are medications that can be used by either local injection or by insertion into the urethra that will increase blood flow into the penis, making it hard. There are also vacuum suction devices that can facilitate this same process of getting hard. It is even possible to have a penile implant, though that is a costly major operation with potential side effects, so it would not be anyone's first choice of treatment.

              It is possible that one of these "mechanical" methods might work to get the bell ringer "most or all of the way up the pole."

              If all is good and you have investigated everything to no avail, so be it. But I am married too, and I know that my husband would want to know, and possibly try, everything before he decided "Enough." And we have all noticed that these very sensitive issues are ones that doctors might not discuss with you in detail unless you ask.

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                #8
                Thank you all for the reply's . I am 51 yrs. old also cathed ,so when the nurse inserts that sorry but that doesn't even do a thing . Once in a great while it will get half hard but no farther.I will talk to my new doc.in two weeks about it see if he says any diff.

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                  #9
                  I'm so sorry

                  I may be a woman but I know -well kind of know - what you mean. Sex is a vital part of the human experience. Because of sever spasticity (& an uneducable now ex husband) I have gone about that long myself. I want to want to have sex. But most of the time I'm just to exhausted to even think about it. Then when I do have the desire there's the lack of a partner. Not to be to blunt but masturbation on an occasional basis was fine when I was young and had the option of a partner. But after 12 years of just yourself, frankly, I wish I could afford a boy toy! . A "beck and call" boy.

                  Also, think of the positive effects of sex. It's great exercise, relieves stress, with the right partner it can be extremely good for your self-esteem, it raises endorphins. I'm sure there are more but I can't think of them right now. I just think that more effort needs to be directed in finding a solution for this problem for us.

                  Of course, then there's me. In just need a man with a - ahem - that's not too big! If I don't laugh about it I'd sit and cry. I watch those commercials for "ourtime.com" and now all the diamond stores "show her you love her more now than the day you married her", "she's the center of your universe". Ugh!

                  How many of you feel me? MS has definitely cut some very vital connections for me!

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by COOL MAN View Post
                    Yes I have many times he say's it is because of the meds.
                    Can you change medications?

                    Do you enjoy getting your wife all hot and excited?
                    Perhaps if you spent time taking care of her (there are lots of other ways) you may start to feel some desire and pleasure without feeling pressure of performance anxiety?

                    12 years is a long time. It may require some courtship to start feelings of passion again.

                    You may not be loosing sleep over it, but if you are talking about it here it must have some value to you?
                    How does your wife feel about it?
                    Will she talk about what she wants or likes?

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