I've been spending most of my days alone for the last three months. It's been a challenge, but I do understand - dh's father had a stroke and has been moved into assistive living, meanwhile dh and his brothers are busy getting the farm in shape to auction.
I've been having a bad few weeks - fatigue knocking me out most of my days, pain higher than a 'normal' autumn, anxiety, horrid memory, and trouble speaking. I've been forgetting how to do common things around the house, like where to put the laundry detergent. It doesn't help that I was dx with fibromyalgia as well last week and lost my pcp because I wanted to try something natural before heavy drugs.
Every day for the last few weeks, when he leaves in the morning, I begin weeping within 20 min. I don't even realize I'm doing it, but I realize I miss him and feel so alone. I cannot drive and we live in the country. I began feeling bitter about everyone constantly visiting or picking up and doing things with his father because he was so 'alone.' To make matters worse, dh comes home every night in a bad mood. I understand because he's tired and hurts as well, but he is nice to the dogs - just not me.
Yesterday, when I was having a particularly hard time speaking - he said to me - are you taking your medicine? I shook my head yes. He said to me emphatically and not very nice, Well, why isn't your medicine working?
I thought maybe he was mad about me not taking the amitriptyline, but he didn't want me to take it. Then I thought maybe he doesn't want me to take the tecfidera either? Then I thought, he is just tired of me having MS
I can't ask him because he'll get mad. He hasn't had a three hour screaming session at me for several months (since I told my kids and one of his brothers). But, I don't understand.
Is it me? Am I just being overly sensitive?
I've been having a bad few weeks - fatigue knocking me out most of my days, pain higher than a 'normal' autumn, anxiety, horrid memory, and trouble speaking. I've been forgetting how to do common things around the house, like where to put the laundry detergent. It doesn't help that I was dx with fibromyalgia as well last week and lost my pcp because I wanted to try something natural before heavy drugs.
Every day for the last few weeks, when he leaves in the morning, I begin weeping within 20 min. I don't even realize I'm doing it, but I realize I miss him and feel so alone. I cannot drive and we live in the country. I began feeling bitter about everyone constantly visiting or picking up and doing things with his father because he was so 'alone.' To make matters worse, dh comes home every night in a bad mood. I understand because he's tired and hurts as well, but he is nice to the dogs - just not me.
Yesterday, when I was having a particularly hard time speaking - he said to me - are you taking your medicine? I shook my head yes. He said to me emphatically and not very nice, Well, why isn't your medicine working?
I thought maybe he was mad about me not taking the amitriptyline, but he didn't want me to take it. Then I thought maybe he doesn't want me to take the tecfidera either? Then I thought, he is just tired of me having MS
I can't ask him because he'll get mad. He hasn't had a three hour screaming session at me for several months (since I told my kids and one of his brothers). But, I don't understand.
Is it me? Am I just being overly sensitive?
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