Who here is NOT taking an antidepressant?

[Special Kay]

How do I cope with not taking an AD? I asked my doctor to quit Avonex!

But seriously, the only time I've experienced what I think depression might be like was when I was taking Avonex, during which I felt increasingly constrained and disengaged, and I switched to another medication.

In general, I have a dark point of view and have always been that way, but it has never kept my from functioning effectively, having healthy relationships, and setting/meeting goals, and I have never been diagnosed as depressed. I actually am not sure what constitutes clinical depression.

The way I have always managed any emotional lability (pre-MS as well as now) is through running. As long as I can run, I feel just fine and productive and capable. If for some reason I have a week in which I run less, I tend to be more anxious or easily upset. But that can be remedied by just going out for a run.

Interestingly, for the 5 years that I was taking Avonex, I never, not once, experienced that endorphin rush known as runner's high, so I felt confident that something was changing my brain chemistry. Once I stopped Avonex, my runner's high came right back.

When I can't run? Well, I'll look for some other kind of physical exertion and hope to be able to always do something.

I also think sex is good for your brain, chemically.

[lovetherams]

How do you manage? There is so much advise about getting on ADs and so little information about getting off of the suckers. They remind me of DMDs. Are they helping or not? Hard to know, but too scary to get off of them just in case they are helping. It might just be the placebo effect, but even giving that up might be dangerous!

Hi there. Although my family tree on my Dad's side has severe manic depression in it, my uncle is a ward of the state of California, I have opted to try to stick with a more natural path for myself. I have used a few different AD's many years ago prior to being diagnosed, when I should have had an MRI but no one would order one, they just kept telling me I was depressed. But I kept telling them I wasn't, so when an MRI was finally ordered in 2007 after 15 years of suffering the MS had already done so much damage everywhere in my brain and left many tumefactive sized lesions everywhere. Oh well. Not crying over spilled milk.

The AD's do not sit well with me and I have gotten very ill physically from them and overall they were not a good fit for me, personally. I am hyper sensitive to all medications for some reason, including the DMD's. Something people aren't told when they start an AD is how difficult it can be to taper off of the AD both physically and mentally. That should ALWAYS be monitored by your physician if you decide to stop taking them.

MS can cause depression in 3 different ways that research is aware of. Due to the size and volume of my lesion load I do have a lot of problems with the lesions affecting my emotions, mood, temperature, etc. etc. etc. I also have some documented permanent black holes that seem to be causing some problems as well. I was told this year that this is my new normal, is that the end all be all, no way, I always fight back. I take Sun-Theanine, 5-HTP and a couple other supplements that specifically target mood. Plus I do also try to stick with positive thoughts, declarations and my personality is a happy go lucky one, but there are times when no matter how positive I am thinking or take control of my thoughts I still have problems with my emotions going out of control, for no apparent reason.

I also eat a very strict diet specific to MS, try to exercise any time I have the strength to do so and do everything I can in my life to try to help my MS. Even with all of that and taking all the right vitamins and supplements the MS does affect me unfortunately. Sometimes a lump of anxiety will form in my throat of its own accord and I am having a perfectly wonderful day otherwise. Nothing I am doing or thinking caused that.

I think its important to use AD's for whatever period of time you need them depending on what is causing the problem.

I wanted to address lesion placement here because I personally, and only a handful of other people I know with MS, deal with problems from that issue specifically. An AD may or may not help in that situation. I have heard they work for some and not for others. But it is a very real problem of damage not necessarily classified as a mental illness. Also not something that goes away by changing my thoughts or using coping techniques learned.

So from the original question of how do you manage - these are all the things I do to manage.

Thanks for reading this long mini-book. hehehe Happy Friday!!

[Toomnyhats]

I took an AD for a week or so when I was suffering from deep depression & suicidal thoughts due to the dmd I was taking.

For me, getting off the dmd made me go back to my usual "my life generally sucks & I sometimes feel blue" feeling. I no longer had suicidal thoughts creeping into my head or heavy, "weight-of-the-world-is-on-my-shoulders".

For me, the AD disrupted my sleep too much. That coupled with extreme fatigue from my new dmd plus general MS fatigue was more than I could handle. I stopped the AD & sleep went back to normal.

[TheMiddleWay]

As for coming off of them, I'd advise making a plan with the doctor who prescribed them, and also with the therapist if there is one, regarding what to expect/how to get them started up again if need be. That way, if you realize the depression or anxiety is coming back, you can get smoothly back on meds and reassess with the doctor.

Alicious gives some excellent advice. Remember that coming off the AD doesn't mean you can never start it again.

I personally have a history of depression that pre-dates my MS diagnosis by at least a decade. I was on an AD for about a year along with some talk therapy. That seemed to let my system re-set, and I was able wean off the AD under my Dr.’s supervision.

My depression has come back several times, but I've never gone back on an AD. I deal with it by using mindful meditation. If I focus only on whatever mundane daily task I’m currently doing, it’s difficult to dwell on all of the other problems I’m having.

I believe all moments in my life are temporary. No- that doesn't mean any of the issues that come with having MS or living in general are going to go away, but the way I feel about those issues in any one moment can be temporary. When I have a negative thought, I have a choice to keep repeating that thought, or to let it go and move on to something else. If I ever found that I couldn't stop repeating the negative thoughts, I’d go back on an AD for a while to let my system re-set again.

If you can go off the AD and not suffer as a result, then that’s one less med, which in my opinion is a good thing. The key though, is that you shouldn't suffer just so you can say you aren't on the AD anymore.

[Tracelyn]

I would like to add my 2 cents worth on this subject, and try not to hijack it too badly.

I have been on AD's off and on for the past 20 years. My depression is not the type where I cannot get out of bed, or feel like opening a vein. My depression has the added bonus of GAD.

I have gone and off different meds many time with the determination in my mind that I am better and I do not need them. Sadly I usually found myself a mess within a few months.

The last time I purposely quit taking AD's within a month my teenage kids begged me to go back on. They pointed out that I am much happier and easier to get along with, instead of yelling and flat out refusing to listen to what they have to say.

I take Lexapro and I can honestly say that what I experience is where the "lows" are not so low, and and that feeling like I am going to crawl out of my skin is not a constant reminder.

I could pop Xanax like its candy, but I prefer to to use a less addictive medication, and only take a Xanax only when it is absolutely necessary.

[tommylee]

I also think sex is good for your brain, chemically.

I don't know if it helps my brain but it certainly puts a smile on my face.

I feel like I have tried a dozen or so different "happy pills" over the years. most of them made me feel worse. I have not taken any for years. But I use marijuana, does that count? It seems to make me feel happier.

[JamCakes]

Tawanda, I took a couple of different types of anti-depressants the first two years after my diagnosis and major flare that led to diagnosis.

I did wonder about the advisability of getting off of them, but I felt confident. And then when I did stop taking them, things did feel different (emotional roller coaster) but I gave myself 6 months to get used to it, and then I totally forgot about them.

But that was my experience and the key thing for me, is that I don't believe I had a clinical depression. I was in total shock, fear and grief from the betrayal of my body and a possible grim future being blind and in a wheelchair. But then, that future did not materialize. I was back to seeing, walking, working.

And the primary thing? I never thought about suicide. In fact 4 months after my diagnosis, while I was still blind in one eye from optic neuritis and barely hobbling around, I bought a townhouse with stairs in it because I really, really WANTED to continue working and walking up those stairs. (no, I didn't know if that was going to happen, i'm giving you some Tony Robbins line here, I was not "willing it to be" I just really wanted)

Only you can look in your own heart and head -- if you need anti-depressants to function, TAKE THEM! They are tools, and we should use every tool in the box available to us

[.BadWolf.]

I don't take an antidepressant and I never have. Some people do need to take one but medication is not a substitute for therapy. I learned that I don't have to succumb to every emotion just because I feel it and I learned that I don't have to believe every stupid thought I have just because it crosses my mind. I know how to recognize when I'm getting anxious and how to short circuit it.
Unfortunately too many people learn how to become helpless victims of their emotions or helpless victims of circumstances. Medications don't help people to unlearn learned behaviors. And I think that's one contributing reason why some people who do take an antidepressant are still depressed - they keep repeating the same destructive thought patterns. Anxiety works the same way. So I think if someone can't tell if an antidepressant is helping or not it might be because the problem is more destructive thinking than it is a "chemical imbalance".

So how do people manage without an antidepressant? I think we manage by learning how to control our emotions instead of letting our emotions control us.
And I think that's the key even for people who do need an antidepressant to keep things in balance. The medicine doesn't "fix" them but it helps to set a friendlier "internal environment" in which they can learn to control their emotions and apply cognitive behavioral strategies. When they have already learned good thinking and coping strategies, that could be a good time to try getting off an antidepressant.

Sadly, a lot of people think that because depression isn't
their "fault" they don't think they should have to put any work into overcoming it.

Just stopping an antidepressant while continuing the same learned destructive thinking is a sure formula for failure! I think that if the "thinking problems" an unrealistic expectations are cleared up first, that can help be a "safety net" while they see if the can function without an antidepressant.

This.

Also for me, Yoga ( vinyasa and the more mediative varieties) and meditation are my sanctuary. Turning inward and focusing on myself, my thoughts and the here and now, has given me the tools to do the same even outside of the studio.

[Fed Up]

I have used anti-depressants for pain relief. Even if not depressed..which is usually the case.

Depression is often a chemical imbalance no amount of meditation, exercise or 'wishful thinking' can correct. fed

[Don2480]

I can not take antidepressants as they make me feel very scattered...I find a meditative hobby is the best therapy for emotional stability. for me I go fishing in spring and early summer...In the winter I just have a beer and all is well. I also believe strongly in the power of the mind and try my best to choose how I feel.

[Mamabug]

In the past, I often experienced manic thoughts and behavior during MS flares as a symptom of MS. The mania occurred only during a flare, and was not something I had ever experienced prior to MS, and was not something I experienced between flares.

During one of my hospitalizations, I experienced a situation in which staff used poor judgment (which was later investigated by the state for possible abuse: excessive use of medication and restraints). The situation was emotionally very difficult for me, and it plunged me into a deep 4-month depression.

Due to the combination of depression and mania, I was dx with bi-polar. Anti-depressants got me out of the depression, but, due to my dx, the psychiatrist believed that I needed to be on meds for the rest of my life. I believed that the mania was due to MS, not to a chemical imbalance. And, that the depression was situational and that the situation was now over. I did not believe that bi-polar was an appropriate dx, and, I did not believe that I required bi-polar meds for the rest of my life.

I requested the psychiatrist's assistance in tapering off the meds, and, he reluctantly offered a tapering schedule, after being on meds for only about 6 months, that would have taken 2 years or more to get off. I "researched", online, my med; and came up with what I considered a more realistic tapering schedule and tapered myself off.

Although the AD meds were effective to help me to get out of that particular depression, it has now been 10 years since I've been off, and I have not experienced another depression since.

I have experienced manic thoughts and behavior since then, but, none during the past 3-4 years. The docs usually put me on some mental health meds for a time (and I taper off later), but I don't believe they are effective. In my experience, what gets rid of my manic thoughts is to treat the MS with steroids, because it seems secondary to MS; not primary, and not bi-polar.

My MS, since switching from Betaseron to Copaxone about 5 years ago, and, since losing 60 pounds and eating differently 2-3 years ago, has been much more stable than in the past.

I believe AD's have their place. I agree with several of JustaCowGirl's statements:

Absolutely it is important to work with a professional to help to learn good coping skills. But, it has taken years for people to realize that depression can be the manifestation of physical irregularities; in our case frankly it can be short circuits in the brain not just feeling bad because you have ms.

Telling someone that once they have learned " good thinking and coping skills" they should get off antidepressants is wrong for people with a mental illness. When we start to feel good we stay on our meds. Maybe forever.

I also believe that MSer102 makes some good points:

Sadly, a lot of people think that because depression isn't
their "fault" they don't think they should have to put any work into overcoming it.

Just stopping an antidepressant while continuing the same learned destructive thinking is a sure formula for failure! I think that if the "thinking problems" an unrealistic expectations are cleared up first, that can help be a "safety net" while they see if the can function without an antidepressant.

~ Faith

[Saavik]

Few months after I got diagnosed with MS I told my doctor I have some issues with the way I feel and act. "Organic depression" was added to the list of my MS related issues and I started to take AD every day. After some time I noticed they would not work so the doctor changed the medication and increased the dosage. Long story short, after a suicide attempt I decided I can deal with it on my own. It's been a year and a half since I've stopped taking them and all is well so far.

[Thinkimjob]

To be honest, I am depressed, but I think, you know 'fair do's'. I'm allowed to be a bit miserable. This whole MS thing and all.

I was depressed once or twice before MS, and that needed treating, but meh, no more drugs. I can't even remember properly when my grandfather died, thanks to anti-depressants. I was fine. Didn't cry, really felt nothing.

Uncomfortably numb.

I know many people badly need these drugs, and they do some good, but I can't see it for me. I want to feel alive, and alive doesn't have to mean happy.

[Temagami]

No meds for depression for me. If I found myself in a deep dark place I think IŽd be willing to try them. For me, spousal abandonment was the low point of my life and the dx came after, so I already had some new coping skills.

I now have a "catalog" of over 100 songs- I deal with intense emotions via writing songs and lucky for me they come along with the tune. IŽm also very sensitive to meds so I can imagine that the side effects might not make the process worth it. Tried aderall for better focus and memory- side effects were not worth it and I am not sure it helped.

I do believe that thoughts create our feelings and we are in the driverŽs seat to some extent over that. Also, that our diet affects our emotional states- the gut is the second brain and communicates with our brains. Funny how when you feel low you reach for junk food which is probably the worst thing to improve mood. Must be some evolutionary reason for that reaction.

Sunlight, puppies, puppy videos, buzz worthy, pandora, streamed comedy shows, chocolate truffles (google paleo truffle recipes with cocoa powder and coconut oil), guitar playing, skypeing a good friend, doing art- even bad art- all of these things help me.

[als5445]

I was on Citalopram for about 2 years and then switched to Cymbalta a couple months ago. I just recently weaned myself off the Cymbalta partially due to the pharmacy being out and not wanting to risk going off cold turkey if they didn't get them in in time.

The first few days were awful, but honestly now that my body's adjusted I don't feel any different than from when I was on ADs.