Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I feel so lost

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I feel so lost

    Hello my husband was diagnose with MS in 2006 a year after our son was murdered. I've been coping with the loss of my oldest son who was 26yrs old at the time and a year later my husband has MS and its so hard because he is a big guy who did a lot around the house and he can no longer do anything so I have to do it all and I feel sometimes its a bit to much. does anyone feel the same way? is there anything I can do? I feel so lost at times and I just cry when my husband is asleep.

    #2
    I hear you. Have you considered talking with a professional who could act as a sounding board for you and give you a safe outlet for discussing your feelings and frustrations and even crying if that's what you need to do? Also maybe anti-depressant medications would help you, even for a short time while you "get your feet back under you"? Dealing with any death of a child is horrific and painful and so much more (been there), and then you have the addition of your husband's MS Dx. That's a lot to cope with and medicine might help.
    Have you and your husband ever attended a support group for MS patients and caregivers? Some are sponsored by pharmaceutical companies and some are community-based, but just getting out and sitting around with others who share similar experiences (and stresses) can help, at least for a little while. there are some times when I feel almost ike I 'live' for those dates on my calendar, when I can see familiar faces who know what I'm going through without my having to explain endlessly.
    You may have heard all these suggestions a thousand times before but not acted on them 'cause they sound too trite. Okay. I'll buy that but I would challenge you to try them and let us all know how you are feeling after you've given these a fair trial. You're in a heck of a situation and you deserve to do some things to help yourself (and ultimately both of you). Go have a mani and a pedi, or a massage and make a pact with yourself that investigate and attend a support group or MS-related meeting coming up in your area. explore anti-depression assistance with your PCP who may be able to suggest a psychiatrist and/or therapist you might "fit" with. Do it for yourself and for the MS community of caring people.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by alsmom View Post
      Hello my husband was diagnose with MS in 2006 a year after our son was murdered. I've been coping with the loss of my oldest son who was 26yrs old at the time and a year later my husband has MS and its so hard because he is a big guy who did a lot around the house and he can no longer do anything so I have to do it all and I feel sometimes its a bit to much. does anyone feel the same way? is there anything I can do? I feel so lost at times and I just cry when my husband is asleep.
      Oh my...heavy sigh when I read your post.


      I don't really have any sage advice, just wanted to say I'm so sorry about the death of your son, and then your husband's diagnosis.

      I venture to say that anyone in that situation would feel lost. And as far as crying, I'm a huge proponent of crying, I think it is a good thing. Having to hide your tears from your husband is hard...I'm the MS one, and I've tried to hide my tears from my husband at times (not always possible.)

      We do have a Caregiver's forum on this board, but I don't think it's very active.

      Do you have other family and/or friends that can help you? Not just emotionally, but in a physical way by helping out with chores, and other responsibilities you've taken on since your husband's diagnosis.

      Do you have a person you can "unload" to about how you're feeling? If not, come unload here on the forum.

      We've got to be able to tell the truth about how we feel to somebody, be it therapist, forum, or friend/family member.

      Sorry I don't have more advice, but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

      Comment


        #4
        oh my goodness! I am so sorry!!
        Maybe you can find a therapy group that is set up for caregivers (check at your local hospital). It might not be only ms caregivers but they are still people in the same type of situation.
        Again, so sorry for the loss of your son!
        dx 2002 rebif 2002-2013 Tecfidera 2013

        Comment

        Working...
        X