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The Event That Changed My Life Forever

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    The Event That Changed My Life Forever

    This is a writing that my Daughter, Tina wrote. I am sharing this because for Tina, as my Daughter and my part-time Caregiver, it shows the different perspectives that each person has who is affected by MS in some way.

    The Event That Changed My Life Forever by Tina Norris

    It will be ten years ago in February. Ten years ago my family’s life drastically changed. My Mother, Carol, was diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis). I was only nine years old when this happened, but I remember everything from the day they sat me, and my then eleven year old sister, down and tried to explain to us what was going on.

    It was a Sunday morning, one that started out like any other. We all got up and went to church, as we always did. After Mass my parents told my sister and I to head down to the basement. We did, and they followed. They sat us down in a back room area of the church, and it was silent. Being only nine years old, it was still easy to see that something was not right. I remember my mother’s friend saying, “Alright girls, your mother has something very important she needs to tell you.” Then my mom came forward, and told us she had gone to the doctor, and they told her she had a disease called Multiple Sclerosis. It was a disease that none of us were familiar with. Being nine years old, I knew it wasn’t a good thing, but because I didn’t know what it meant, I didn’t know how to feel. I remember looking at my sister, she was crying and everyone was focused on her. I just sat there… not knowing what to do. The final words of that afternoon were, “none of us know what to do, but we will all get through this as a family.”

    Growing up with a parent with disabilities definitely has its challenges. Dealing with all the doctors and different specialists, was one of the first major things we had to deal with, and as the MS progressed and got worse, the changes we had to make as a family got more extreme. We had to change how we lived in many ways. We were looking for a new house at the time and for most people it wouldn’t be a big deal, they just get what they like and can afford. But we now had to find a house we liked, a house we could afford, and a house that will work for my mom in the future. Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that can cause loss of balance, impaired vision and hearing, fatigue, muscle weakness and, in some, paralysis. Even simple everyday living skills become increasingly difficult, so when looking for the house we had to be sure we could find one with a first floor bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen area; so when the MS got to the point where my mom could no longer do the stairs, we would be in a house that she could still live in and stay as active as possible in. Part of living with it was dealing with the changes, knowing and learning to except that my mom would have to take a nap every afternoon, and would have to be picked up by the doors of stores when we go grocery shopping so that she didn’t have to hurt herself trying to walk more than she physically could. The biggest change we’ve had to deal with in living with it is when it came to the point that the MS got bad enough that my mom had to get a Power Chair for in the house and a Scooter for when she wanted to be mobile outside. Seeing a parent in a Mobile Chair is really hard. It’s also the newest and the biggest thing that’s happened since the day she told us she had MS.

    I don’t want to say that living with a parent with MS changed me, because I was way too young when it happened to even try to figure out who I was going to be as a person when I grew up. But I will go as far as to say that growing up with a mother who has MS has probably made me a different person than I would have been if I had grown up with two healthy parents. It has also made me different in the way that I feel the need to go out and help, or at least offer my help to others who might need someone to talk to. Especially if they are going through something like this with a parent or other loved one getting hurt or being sick. I also feel like having to deal with something like this at such a young age, made me a stronger of a person. It taught me to deal with things, to take whatever comes at you and just try to make the most of it. In the past couple years, I decided to get out and start doing something that may be able to help the people and the families of the people who suffer with MS all over the world, I’ve started doing this by fundraising and getting out there and doing the MS Walks. Every spring there are MS Walks. My family and close friends get together to make up a team, and we raise money that goes to research, that may help cure MS someday, and to help families who are struggling with Multiple Sclerosis today.

    The past ten years has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, and there are bound to be more of them. Someone once asked me, “If you could change it, would you?” Without even thinking about it, I said “no.” I still think about it off and on, but every time I do, my answer is still no. I do wish it never happened to my mom, because watching a parent hurting is no easy task, but I would never want to change it because of how it affected me. I feel like I am a better person because of it. I feel as though I am more responsible because of it. It has opened my heart and my life to so many new opportunities.

    #2
    Hi mroreo57 and welcome to MSworld! And wow! what beautifully written words from you daughter here. She sounds like such a loving spirit and the resiliency she shows while witnessing changes is remarkable. You are one very lucky momma!

    It touched my heart in personal ways because my daughter (and sons) have had to live though this all also.
    p.s. she does the MSWalk with me too! (she walks, I roll)

    Thank you so much for sharing this. Give her a big hug and one for you too!
    1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
    Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

    Comment


      #3
      mroreo, thanks so much for sharing this. I have children and this touched me. Dale
      Dale in NC, dx'ed 2000, now SPMS

      Comment


        #4
        Mroero57, Hello and Welcome!

        Thank you for sharing your daughter's writings. It's very touching. She is a wonderful soul!

        I have 2 daughters and 3 granddaughters. They, and my hubby are my sunshine!

        People who love us and look after us are a special breed of people. You are blessed to have a wonderful family.

        Now that you're here with us you'll find that we're a special MSfamily. Welcome among us!
        When I can laugh at my experiences, I own them and they don't own me!

        Comment


          #5
          This really touched my heart, thank you for sharing this with us.
          Jen
          RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
          "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."

          Comment


            #6
            Wow!!!

            My children were 10, 7, and 2 when I was diagnosed and not a day goes by that I think about the future and the things my kids may miss out on because of me.

            Thanks so much for making me think my future is brighter than I thought!

            Comment


              #7
              Wow, all I can say is this was very touching.

              Comment


                #8
                Reply to:The Event That Changed My Life Forever

                Hello and Thank you all so much for your wonderful sharing and for your compliments on Tina's Story!

                One thing that I personally want to share is that, when I was diagnosed with the MS the number one most important thing to me was to stay as strong and as mobile as possible for my children. On the day of the diagnosis I told my husband and my children that I would not let this disease put me in a wheelchair at least until both of our children had graduated from High School.

                Making this promise kept me driven and determined to be the best mother and wife that I could be and to be actively involved in their lives. Both of our children are graduated from High School. The oldest is graduated from College and is married. Tina is currently in College. The MS is now progressing and I am much less mobile than before, but, I'm still fighting, staying determined to one day play with any grandchildren that God may bless us with. My advice to everyone is, "Don't give in to this disease!" Never give up! Thank you again for your replies.


                ** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **

                Comment

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