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    Hi there! New here and feeling alone.

    First of all, let me apologize for what will probably be a long, rambling post. I've been trolling the boards for a few weeks, but I've finally decided to post something myself in hopes of finding a few friends on here that understand my situation.

    A little bit about me... I am a 30-year-old female and I live with my fiance (we've been together 11 years this March!) and our 9-year-old daughter. They are the absolute loves of my life. My fiance works full-time, while I worked as a cocktail waitress 3-5 nights a week until Thanksgiving when I severely sprained my ankle. Not working for 3 months has obviously hindered us financially. I finally got the okay to go back to work the week after next, but now that I've got this other health issue rearing its ugly head, I find that nearly impossible to even think about.

    A few days after New Year's, while I was still laid up and on crutches, my right hand started to tremor. I didn't get concerned until it had been a few days, and then my left hand start to tremor as well. About a week later, my good leg felt asleep all day and was very weak. This only lasted about a day or so. I had also developed weird back pain and facial numbness over the course of the next couple weeks, so I headed to the ER. They did lumbar and pelvic x-rays for my back and a head CT. All came back clear, so they sent me home with braces for my wrists (they diagnosed me with carpal tunnel from over-use of the crutches) and enough pain-meds to kill a horse for my back. As we were leaving, though, the doctor told me to keep an eye on my symptoms over the next month, as it could be MS, but he highly doubted it.

    Over the next few days, my symptoms would get better, then worse, then better-- very inconsistant. I started having eye issues and dizziness, so I called the doctor. I don't have insurance, so I go through our county clinic. Anyway, I went in, and the doctor told me it was probably all nerves since he couldn't see anything physically wrong with me. He ordered a ton of blood tests just to be safe, including a vitamin D and thyroid test. To quote the nurse, my tests came back "more perfect than perfect." I went back in a week later, and he referred me to an opthamologist and neurologist. My neurology appointment is May 20. He recommended coming in the following week so his colleague could have a look at me as well. I did, and she highly suspects MS. She did prescribe Lexipro to help with my crazy anxiety, but I can't tell any difference yet.

    Since the doctor, I have been experiencing crazy spasms all over my body, spasicity in both legs, and weakness in my right leg and hands. And all I want to do is sleep! I'm due for a night of theater tonight with my friend-- we've been looking forward to it forever-- but I'm not even that excited now. I just feel so crummy.

    I think my fiance may be in some sort of denial or genuinely thinks there's nothing wrong. He keeps telling me that once I get back to work I'll feel much better. He has been super sweet, but last night he expressed to me his frustration over not being able to make me feel better no matter what he does. Everytime I try to talk to him about how scared I am, he tells me he'll be here for me no matter what and changes the subject. His mom passed away from pancreatic cancer two years ago, and he sort of acted the same way with her. Supportive but distant.

    I have told some friends and a few family members, who are all either completely freaking out and making it worse or are telling me it's all in my head. For now, I feel like I'm stuck in limbo and wasting everyday because I can't function like I want to. I can't even do proper exercise because of my ankle! So incredibly frustrating.

    Thanks to anyone who actually read this incredibly long thing. I'm a mess. Any support would be truly appreciated.

    #2
    Hello and Welcome Kelly!

    It's difficult being in limbo. I think once you get your diagnosis, the people around you will be more understanding and supportive.

    We're all here to support each other, so I'm glad you decided to join us.

    We all have our different struggles, but no matter what our struggles are, we help each other out.

    There is so much information available on this site. I swear some MSers should be teaching doctors!

    Don't be shy to post any questions or comments you may have.

    When I can laugh at my experiences, I own them and they don't own me!

    Comment


      #3
      Your symptoms of numbness in different nerve areas, leg then face are indicative of multiple sclerosis, but there are also about 400 other mimickers of MS that can cause these symptoms too. They ruled out some with the blood tests. When you see the neurologist, he/she will do a more in depth examination and evaluation of you neurologically.

      This will be hard, but try not to freak out until you see the neurologist. They will give you a better idea of what direction they are thinking. Even after that there are many many tests to rule out MS. I am glad you got something for anxiety. Go back if it didn't help and get something else because this can be a long process and you haven't even see a neurologist yet.

      Let us know how it goes, but we are all here for you.

      Lisa
      Moderation Team
      Disabled RN with MS for 14 years
      SPMS EDSS 7.5 Wheelchair (but a racing one)
      Tysabri

      Comment


        #4
        Kelly, welcome. Most of us on this site have been exactly where you are and know how frustrating it can be. We understand. but try to relax as best you can, it will help. Come here anytime you need support, information or maybe just to vent. This is a hard time to get through, you are not alone. Take care Dale
        Dale in NC, dx'ed 2000, now SPMS

        Comment


          #5
          Hi Kelly, we understand your frustrations so well. I think once you see your neuro, you won't have so much anxiety. Can you call them once per day to see if there's a cancellation and not have to wait until May?

          Anyway, you're in good company here so don't be a stranger.

          Jen
          RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
          "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."

          Comment


            #6
            I think all nuero docs should have to read these boards! I have only been on here a few days and have found such comfort in the diversity of symptoms. I was one of the lucky ones that had a dx in only a few months. I'm also new at giving advice so I'll just form it in my opinion instead. I think you search till you find a dr that will listen to every single word you say and take it seriously. Even if that means changing many times. Also, talk to others with ms who might be able to refer you to a dr that cares about all aspects of the disease. Good luck to you and keep drawing strength in numbers. I only just found the value of that days ago and frankly it may have literally saved my life!
            love to you
            tina

            Comment


              #7
              Encouragement

              Hi Kelly,

              I am knew, so I don't know much. I have tremors, I could feel and see my tremors sometimes. I was just diagnosed this 2/22/13, but right now I am collecting all my records so I can take them to the Neurologist that diagnosed me this past friday at the hospital. Just know from all the replies I saw you received, that people on this website are caring. You are not alone. From what I read, MS is probably one of the more livable of Neurological diseases to have, many are worst. I hope you feel better, and keep in touch.

              dee

              Comment


                #8
                Hey Kelly I am new to this board also, but have had MS by my side for 13 years.
                Your fear is warranted and don't feel bad about it. One thing I can tell you is don't give up on an answer. If one blows you off, go to the next. Make them do the test to completely rule out MS. "I don't think it's MS" or "Well, watch your symptoms it could be MS" is not adequate medical care.
                I was lucky being a nurse and knowing doctors and basically I had already diagnosed myself, but bottom line you deserve an answer. They don't have to live with it after they say "oh, it was MS".
                In 24 hours on this board I feel I have gotten more support and understanding than I have in years.
                Hang in there and let us be there for you. We may not know each other, live near one another or ever meet face to face, but each of us knows, truly knows each other. We are all fighting the same monster. We will help you fight until you can do it.
                Like I said, I am 13 years in and came here yesterday, because I needed help. Thank God He knows when it is bigger than me, because I am the Queen of Denial.
                Love and Prayers!

                ~Deb
                `

                Comment


                  #9
                  Hi all,

                  Just wanted to let everyone know that I go in for my MRI today. I feel relieved to be finally getting this ball rolling. I am feeling an amazing sense of calm about the whole thing, and I have everyone here to thank. About a month ago, I was such a mess mentally that it was making my symptoms horrendous. Well, my symptoms are still there, but absolutely manageable now. Thank you to everyone so much!

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