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Ok I am officially disgusted with myself

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    Ok I am officially disgusted with myself

    I have had a fairly good run of things with my MS for the last few years. Minor bladder leakage and pretty minor nerve sensory problems, until today.

    I came home from work and used the bathroom. Well I cook dinner, sit down and I am eating dinner and I will be darn if I did not soil myself! I had no warning, no gas, look stools or otherwise. I just crapped myself!!

    I am very frustrated and pretty much disgusted!

    #2
    don't be too hard on yourself. Things like this will happen, trust me I can tell you this for certain. Talk to your doctor about this, I don't know if this can be helped with a prescription or not. Thankfully, it only happened to me a few times and (knock on wood) it hasn't since.
    hunterd/HuntOP/Dave
    volunteer
    MS World
    hunterd@msworld.org
    PPMS DX 2001

    "ADAPT AND OVERCOME" - MY COUSIN

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      #3
      It's totally normal to have this kind of accident. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault.

      Most everybody I know has has this happen to them at least once. My hubby keep an extra pair of pants in his truck just in case "**** happens". Sorry, I couldn't resist that one.

      It no fun and can be embarrassing but what's done is done. I think the disgust comes from fear of losing control. And of course bowel movement is a big one.

      I used to be part of an IBS group and we had one forum for our "disasters" and places where they happened.

      I had it happen in a car while driving. I was rushing to get home when I noticed the flashing lights. I got stopped by the police for speeding. Good thing I got off without a ticket!

      Please don't feel bad!
      When I can laugh at my experiences, I own them and they don't own me!

      Comment


        #4
        Thank you for responses. I think that one of the main reasons this bothers me is that when I was first diagnosed with MS I had told my Momma that I can handle anything thrown my way as long as I have control of my bladder and bowels.

        Well the bladder thing has been iffy for a while, but now the other shoe has dropped. I just hope this does not become a regular problem or I will find myself carrying along a spare set of clothing.

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          #5
          I know. It's horrifying. I haven't lost complete control of my bowels, but have lost the ability to tell whether I have to go to the bathroom or just pass gas. Have had two accidents where I thought it was just a little bit of gas, but OH NO!

          Haven't shared with my husband, nor anyone else. Totally mortified and ashamed. The first time was a few weeks ago, and I just figured it was a one time thing. Last night was the second time, and I realized that I can't feel/sense the difference anymore. Now I'm just going to ensure that I go to the bathroom every darn time I think I have to pass gas. Better safe than sorry.

          However, hubby must have thought I was crazy last night when we went to bed, and I had an upset stomach (IBS) and got up to go to the washroom and closed the door like 6 times before I felt that I was safe - and even though I was sure that all of those 6 times was just to pass gas, twice was not, so I'm sure glad I was on the toilet.

          I'm going to see my family doc next week, and see if he will write another letter to my neurologist to see what the heck is taking him so long with all of my test results from Nov/Dec and he hasn't even had his secretary call to book an appt. I called his office once, and was told to wait until they call me. This is a new sx, and so frustrating.

          Hang in there. You know you can "Let it all out" on this site, while you try to "hold it all in" in life!
          20+ years of sx - no dx yet - getting close!

          Comment


            #6
            HellsBells, I'm like you and can't tell the difference. I've had more accidents because I took the chance that it was gas.

            Sometimes all I get as warning is an instant urge with difficulty holding back. Then everything lets loose. I'm very lucky to have my husband. He is so kind and so good to me. He usually cracks a joke than takes me to the washroom. He'll even clean my messes then help me into the shower.

            It can be embarrassing if you have company. But otherwise, I think it's uncontrollable and therefore I can't do much about it. Except find a little humor in the situation, clean up and move on.

            Please tell your loved one!!! You may find him very understanding, compassionate and helpful. And you won't have to stress about it when it happens.
            When I can laugh at my experiences, I own them and they don't own me!

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              #7
              CaroleL,

              Perhaps if it continues (and I sure hope it does not), then I will consider telling DH. Or maybe I'll wait until it happens and it is so obvious that I have no choice but to tell him it has been happening to me.

              My DH is very loving, and affectionate, but since I am still officially in "Limbo" he is not necessarily very understanding of what I am going through. He doesn't get the fatigue; if I have the runs, he thinks I have eaten something bad; and he doesn't even want to book our vacation because of my balance issues and myoclonic jerking.

              He has always said to me (half jokingly) that if HE ever ends up having to be in a wheelchair, or have someone change diapers for him, that I might as well just get his hunting rifle and shoot him. Hence my hesitance in mentioning this embarrassing sx - and I sure hope to heck that I don't end up in a wheelchair and that he doesn't have to change my diapers. Although when we discuss the issue, he says he is perfectly willing to look after me no matter what (but this was before I got sick).

              I'm just thankful for the support and understanding on this site.
              20+ years of sx - no dx yet - getting close!

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                #8
                On the bright side... at least you're not constipated!
                RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
                "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."

                Comment


                  #9
                  Lol Cat Mom!
                  When I can laugh at my experiences, I own them and they don't own me!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Cat Mom View Post
                    On the bright side... at least you're not constipated!
                    Actually, I am also constipated in between bouts of the runs. But sometimes I have the runs, and still can't "evacuate". It's no fun all around!
                    20+ years of sx - no dx yet - getting close!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      HellsBells,

                      It is not uncommon to have constipation and diarrhea at the same time.

                      Basically, someday feces can be hard and stuck yet watery stools can manage to get around it.

                      It's not a full evacuation therefore you remain constipated, and suffer from cramps and discomfort.

                      I hope you feel better soon!
                      When I can laugh at my experiences, I own them and they don't own me!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        yes hellsbells, i was going to say the same thing about the runs when you are constipated- it is actually a sign of quite severe constipation and is referred o as overflow. I have had iffy bowel control for some time and certainly do not feel confident that gas is jut going to be gas! I have had a urinary catheter for about 3 yrs and sometimes the only way i know i need to go is when i get bladder spasms

                        it is one of the symptoms many of us fear i think because of the way society views bathroom issues- i mean even here its "secretive stuff" - its just stuff we learn not to talk about when very young. but there are ways of getting things under control and many are fairly simple
                        have a good fluid intake
                        have a diet that is high in fiber
                        the body has things called the gastro colic reflex, basically it means that when you have a meal or something warm to drink, ever thing gets an extra push along and thats when you are most likely to need to go. first meal of the day is usually the strongest one, about 30 mins after you finish breakfast for most people. and you can learn to make use of these paterns to help keep things controlled.
                        make sure you do not get constipated as that is when accidents become more likely
                        it may be necessary to take some kind of help regularly such as metamucil or a product we call movicol here in australia (contains macrogol) very gentle
                        there are nurses called called continence nurses, and if you have not been able to work out a pattern for yourself, they are a great help.
                        one thng that might also help (and you do not have to do it for ever!) keep a little record of your bowel habits for a while- you may find that accidents/near misses happen in a pattern such as when you have not been for a couple of days.

                        and the idea of a change of underwear and perhaps some wet wipes is not a bad idea- my theory is that if you have them you will not need them but if you don't, you might!

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                          #13
                          Don't be too hard on you're self as I'm reminded of the old bumper sticker "** happens" I know it's not relevant to you're embarrassment but you have to learn to laugh about it or you will end up crying.

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                            #14
                            I had that happen once and I didn't even know it until I stood up. My husband laughed and asked what was all over the back of my nightgown. I felt mortified about it for days because I wasn't even diagnosed yet; that happened two months later. Mostly when I have a bowel movement it never finishes. I feel I need to put a finger in and get the rest out. I know it is disgusting but I can feel it in there and if I leave it it very uncomfortable. I also have urinary hesitancy which I suppose is better than leakage. I haven't even told my doctor about my bowel problems.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Humiliating!!

                              Originally posted by Tracelyn View Post
                              I have had a fairly good run of things with my MS for the last few years. Minor bladder leakage and pretty minor nerve sensory problems, until today.

                              I came home from work and used the bathroom. Well I cook dinner, sit down and I am eating dinner and I will be darn if I did not soil myself! I had no warning, no gas, look stools or otherwise. I just crapped myself!!

                              I am very frustrated and pretty much disgusted!
                              I have never been such a recluse from any other MS symptom. I was just at the neuro's office yesterday and was even embarrassed to talk to her about it....I can't seem to get away from it either as she ordered PT for me yesterday and he was already here today. So, he asked me about it too! grrr. The problem with me is that sometimes everything, I mean everything is numb so sometimes I know it happened and sometimes not until I smell it. How horrifying as well as humiliating. Hopefully this too shall pass....pun intended! LOL I can only laugh about it with folks who understand and who I won't see here and have to look right in the face. So, I know this will help me to vent and not disgust who I'm talking too Thanks for being there.

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