I have been married 8 years now. Sure a few things have changed but I am also no spring chicken either! First I must say intimacy goes way beyond just sex. To me personally it is the hand holding, the laughing with each other, watching TV while he runs his fingers through my hair, the looks he gives me when he kisses me. Those are the intimate things that happen daily and matter to me.*
I sometimes feel that as a society we have so much emphasis on sex. It's*
In commercials, ads even fast food! *Sex does not make a marriage all by itself. If that were true we all would have just stated single and have sex! *
I was married before briefly. 2 years 1 month from "I do" to legally divorced. *Looking back we had no intimacy just sex. When that's all you have in a marriage it's doomed to fail. Ok plus having sex with my sister through a wrench in it too! I realized when I feel in love with my husband that sadly I never was " in love " with him. I guess always having to be the only adult in the relationship may have had something to do with it too. *I have not seen or heard from him in 12 years. I sincerely hope he has found true love as I have.*
Don't get me wrong sex is very important in a marriage. To me its the one way your spirt and souls come together as one. Where you each get lost in each other. Has my MS changed our sex life. Sure a little.*
I have to give some of that credit to my antidepressant. You know for a pill that can do so much good it sure loves to mess with your sex life. I mean sure it makes me happier but it can and has caused the " inability to have one"! It plays mind tricks on me. What I mean is during that "time" my mind starts spinning thoughts. " oh no it's taking me too long"! I think too much during that time my husband says. I would NEVER fake it either. That's just not me! Plus how do you know if your overreacting or not? What happens if you should give an academy award winning performance and the next time you don't? Your husband/boyfriend could think he failed or doesn't do it for you anymore! That's a whole can of worms you don't want to open! So I say ...if you don't end up "making it" that's ok just "don't fake it"!*
That's all in the past. Once my body and mind got used to the antidepressant then things went back to normal, well sort of normal!*
MS effects my bladder and my intestines. Ok my sphincter too! Thank goodness my husband loves me and adores me. Because there is nothing more embarrassing then "pressure" down there causes your bladder to leak suddenly or you rip a fart! Over the years it has happened and will happen again. We have learned to just work through it at the time. Then we laugh at it afterwards. You can not stress about these things. You have to learn to roll with the leaks and farts! Lol*
Seriously freaking out about it will only end up giving you a complex and prevent you from enjoying yourself. *
I hope that everyone has a spouse or significant other that understands what we are going through and does not make a big deal when we have accidents!*
Here is some information I found online I thought you might find helpful.*
The ways in which MS can affect sexuality and expressions of intimacy can be divided into primary, secondary, and tertiary sexual dysfunction.
Primary sexual dysfunction stems directly from MS-related changes in the brain and spinal cord that affect the sexual response or the ability to feel sexual pleasure. In both men and women, this can include a decrease or loss of sex drive, decreased or unpleasant genital sensations, and diminished capacity for orgasm. Men may experience difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection and a decrease in or loss of ejaculatory force or frequency. Women may experience decreased vaginal lubrication, loss of vaginal muscle tone and/or diminished clitoral engorgement.
Secondary sexual dysfunction stems from MS-related symptoms that do not directly involve nerve pathways to the genital system, but nevertheless impair sexual pleasure or the sexual response. Secondary symptoms may include bladder and bowel problems, fatigue, spasticity, muscle weakness, body or hand tremors, impairments in attention and concentration, and non-genital sensory changes.
Tertiary sexual dysfunction results from disability-related psychosocial and cultural issues that can interfere with one’s sexual feelings and experiences. For example, some people find it difficult to reconcile the idea of being disabled with being fully sexually expressive. Changes in self-esteem– including the way one feels about one’s body – depression, demoralization or mood swings can all interfere with intimacy and sexuality. The sexual partnership can be severely challenged by changes within a relationship, such as one person becoming the other person’s caregiver. Similarly, changes in employment status or role performance within the household are often associated with emotional adjustments that can temporarily interfere with sexual expression. The strain of coping with MS challenges a couple’s efforts to communicate openly about their respective experiences and their changing needs for sexual expression and fulfillment.
To read the entire article:
http://www.msfocus.org/article-detai...x?articleID=37
Have a fantastic day everyone!*
I sometimes feel that as a society we have so much emphasis on sex. It's*
In commercials, ads even fast food! *Sex does not make a marriage all by itself. If that were true we all would have just stated single and have sex! *
I was married before briefly. 2 years 1 month from "I do" to legally divorced. *Looking back we had no intimacy just sex. When that's all you have in a marriage it's doomed to fail. Ok plus having sex with my sister through a wrench in it too! I realized when I feel in love with my husband that sadly I never was " in love " with him. I guess always having to be the only adult in the relationship may have had something to do with it too. *I have not seen or heard from him in 12 years. I sincerely hope he has found true love as I have.*
Don't get me wrong sex is very important in a marriage. To me its the one way your spirt and souls come together as one. Where you each get lost in each other. Has my MS changed our sex life. Sure a little.*
I have to give some of that credit to my antidepressant. You know for a pill that can do so much good it sure loves to mess with your sex life. I mean sure it makes me happier but it can and has caused the " inability to have one"! It plays mind tricks on me. What I mean is during that "time" my mind starts spinning thoughts. " oh no it's taking me too long"! I think too much during that time my husband says. I would NEVER fake it either. That's just not me! Plus how do you know if your overreacting or not? What happens if you should give an academy award winning performance and the next time you don't? Your husband/boyfriend could think he failed or doesn't do it for you anymore! That's a whole can of worms you don't want to open! So I say ...if you don't end up "making it" that's ok just "don't fake it"!*
That's all in the past. Once my body and mind got used to the antidepressant then things went back to normal, well sort of normal!*
MS effects my bladder and my intestines. Ok my sphincter too! Thank goodness my husband loves me and adores me. Because there is nothing more embarrassing then "pressure" down there causes your bladder to leak suddenly or you rip a fart! Over the years it has happened and will happen again. We have learned to just work through it at the time. Then we laugh at it afterwards. You can not stress about these things. You have to learn to roll with the leaks and farts! Lol*
Seriously freaking out about it will only end up giving you a complex and prevent you from enjoying yourself. *
I hope that everyone has a spouse or significant other that understands what we are going through and does not make a big deal when we have accidents!*
Here is some information I found online I thought you might find helpful.*
The ways in which MS can affect sexuality and expressions of intimacy can be divided into primary, secondary, and tertiary sexual dysfunction.
Primary sexual dysfunction stems directly from MS-related changes in the brain and spinal cord that affect the sexual response or the ability to feel sexual pleasure. In both men and women, this can include a decrease or loss of sex drive, decreased or unpleasant genital sensations, and diminished capacity for orgasm. Men may experience difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection and a decrease in or loss of ejaculatory force or frequency. Women may experience decreased vaginal lubrication, loss of vaginal muscle tone and/or diminished clitoral engorgement.
Secondary sexual dysfunction stems from MS-related symptoms that do not directly involve nerve pathways to the genital system, but nevertheless impair sexual pleasure or the sexual response. Secondary symptoms may include bladder and bowel problems, fatigue, spasticity, muscle weakness, body or hand tremors, impairments in attention and concentration, and non-genital sensory changes.
Tertiary sexual dysfunction results from disability-related psychosocial and cultural issues that can interfere with one’s sexual feelings and experiences. For example, some people find it difficult to reconcile the idea of being disabled with being fully sexually expressive. Changes in self-esteem– including the way one feels about one’s body – depression, demoralization or mood swings can all interfere with intimacy and sexuality. The sexual partnership can be severely challenged by changes within a relationship, such as one person becoming the other person’s caregiver. Similarly, changes in employment status or role performance within the household are often associated with emotional adjustments that can temporarily interfere with sexual expression. The strain of coping with MS challenges a couple’s efforts to communicate openly about their respective experiences and their changing needs for sexual expression and fulfillment.
To read the entire article:
http://www.msfocus.org/article-detai...x?articleID=37
Have a fantastic day everyone!*
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