Keeping in mind that once something is said it can't ever be unsaid, i would like your opinion of something i am thinking about doing.
situation is i meet with a financial planner, as it turns out was the lowest day in the stock market in the last year. I'm someone who tends think more on the pessimistic side than than the optimistic side, but it was worse than any of my pessimistic thoughts had imagined. i spent the day after curled up in a ball, didn't eat or drink or move..for a day.
the problem with being always on the pessimistic side, is your actually more of an optimist because you expect reality always has to be better than you thought. your placing a "floor" on how bad reality can be, in a way.
this time it didn't work. reality was worse than i thought. I need to talk to him again to let him know what i decided. that's were pride comes in. as expected i have made less than optimal decisions in the past, which in some part MS played a role in those decisions. kind of felt like my back was against the wall.
now my ms is "invisible" to those that do not already know i have ms. to those that know can see ms in me.
i'm on ssdi, i told the financial planner i have ms. and by the end of the appointment he walked me out and offer to let me hold his arm. that i really don't need but i was shell shocked so i let him provide his arm. he told me he knew someone with Lupus and there is a lot of pain.
i'm not minimizing Lupus. i believe that one has more serious consequence as non survival is greater. but ms visible disability is quite an issue and having to live sometimes can be quite a logistic problem.. many of my suboptimal decisions were made in the first couple of years after diagnosis. MS symptoms were more visible before tysabri. what he sees now.
anyway, it just so happens some asked if i would tell her what happened to me with my ms. so i have a copy of an email that describes what those 2 years were like that caused my diagnosis & that and a miserable economy is a large part of where i am at now...very afraid..
i will follow his advice so i will provide the paperwork he needs, but i am thinking of slipping this emai(2 page double sided) in with the forms i provide so he has a better understanding of how i got to the present.
that is pride i know, i know i could have done better, but i also know i will be "hiring him" so there is no reason for him to know or me to explain anything that he hasn't asked. thats were i'm seeing a caution sign, nothing already said can ever be unsaid.
actually Steve Job's death may be a part of the caution sign i'm getting? Steve Job was an incredibly private person who didn't explain anything. i admire everything i am reading about him, but i imagine he was tough to live with. with a value system that was consistently maintained and hugely admirable. but he had the wealth to do so.
think i should tell the financial planner what it was like at its worst for me and was a part of the reason for my past decisions.still feel my back is against the wall, although its not as visible as it was.
situation is i meet with a financial planner, as it turns out was the lowest day in the stock market in the last year. I'm someone who tends think more on the pessimistic side than than the optimistic side, but it was worse than any of my pessimistic thoughts had imagined. i spent the day after curled up in a ball, didn't eat or drink or move..for a day.
the problem with being always on the pessimistic side, is your actually more of an optimist because you expect reality always has to be better than you thought. your placing a "floor" on how bad reality can be, in a way.
this time it didn't work. reality was worse than i thought. I need to talk to him again to let him know what i decided. that's were pride comes in. as expected i have made less than optimal decisions in the past, which in some part MS played a role in those decisions. kind of felt like my back was against the wall.
now my ms is "invisible" to those that do not already know i have ms. to those that know can see ms in me.
i'm on ssdi, i told the financial planner i have ms. and by the end of the appointment he walked me out and offer to let me hold his arm. that i really don't need but i was shell shocked so i let him provide his arm. he told me he knew someone with Lupus and there is a lot of pain.
i'm not minimizing Lupus. i believe that one has more serious consequence as non survival is greater. but ms visible disability is quite an issue and having to live sometimes can be quite a logistic problem.. many of my suboptimal decisions were made in the first couple of years after diagnosis. MS symptoms were more visible before tysabri. what he sees now.
anyway, it just so happens some asked if i would tell her what happened to me with my ms. so i have a copy of an email that describes what those 2 years were like that caused my diagnosis & that and a miserable economy is a large part of where i am at now...very afraid..
i will follow his advice so i will provide the paperwork he needs, but i am thinking of slipping this emai(2 page double sided) in with the forms i provide so he has a better understanding of how i got to the present.
that is pride i know, i know i could have done better, but i also know i will be "hiring him" so there is no reason for him to know or me to explain anything that he hasn't asked. thats were i'm seeing a caution sign, nothing already said can ever be unsaid.
actually Steve Job's death may be a part of the caution sign i'm getting? Steve Job was an incredibly private person who didn't explain anything. i admire everything i am reading about him, but i imagine he was tough to live with. with a value system that was consistently maintained and hugely admirable. but he had the wealth to do so.
think i should tell the financial planner what it was like at its worst for me and was a part of the reason for my past decisions.still feel my back is against the wall, although its not as visible as it was.
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