Anger, Anxiety, and Fear

**kittysmith** · 10-04-2011, 05:49 PM

I've been on Avonex since 2008. I'm also on Prozac, buspar, klonopin, trazadone, tramadol, and Neurontin. I've been having these horrible outbursts of anger and crying uncontrollably. I've also been injuring myself out of pure anger and frustration. This weekend, I punched myself so hard in the arm over and over that I have a terrible bruise. I've also burned myself recently. I feel like I've gone completely crazy. I have an appointment with a new psychiatrist in November. I've just never been this way before. My MS symptoms seem to be relatively under control. I am wondering if anyone else has had this problem or something similar. I am completely miserable. Could Avonex be contributing to this?

**SNOOPY** · 10-04-2011, 06:32 PM

kittysmith,

I'm also on Prozac, buspar, klonopin, trazadone, tramadol, and Neurontin

Any of these medications could possibly cause anger, anxiety, self injury, feeling out of control and more. Everyone reacts differently to medications and some people have paradoxical reactions to meds.

It is very important that you seek professional help asap. You might call your soon to be Psychiatrist's office and explain what is going on, they may be able to get you in sooner. If not, then see your PCP, any doctor that can see you asap.

You need help...now.

**SNOOPY** · 10-04-2011, 07:09 PM

kittysmith,

If you are still online:

Your emotional state is serious enough to go to the ER.

To be honest, it is very possible you may be put in patient for a psychiatric evaluation. It's okay

. What matters is you get help.

**empirerecs** · 10-04-2011, 07:28 PM

Kittysmith - call the psych IMMEDIATELY - tell them what is happening and if they do nothing please go to the ER. What you are experiencing is not normal - I'm bipolar and have been on all those meds but not at the same time. I'm also OCD and have what can be considered a 'self mutilating' behavior (I don't cut-I pick my skin) - I've never experienced what you are going through and I agree with Snoopy, please go to the doctor ASAP. This is not normal and you could be having some serious side effects.

**kittysmith** · 10-04-2011, 07:51 PM

I am in contact with my PC. She knows most of what is going on. I am hoping to be able to hold out until my psychiatry appointment in November. I don't have a car, so it's hard for me to change appointments. I just got out of a partial inpatient program in July. They adjusted my meds then, but I just think I'm on too much stuff. I've already done the ER thing and have no desire to go inpatient. I'm just going to keep holding on until I can get some help. I do see my therapist on Monday. I think talking to her will help a lot. I know I'm going to have to go through the bad to get to the good, meaning trying new meds to get things right. Just dreading it. I had a particularly bad weekend. I do have a lot of support from friends and family.

**Sequoia** · 10-04-2011, 08:03 PM

Can you call your therapist and ask for an emergency appointment? Although she can't prescribe meds for you, or take you off them, she may be able to get immediate help for you through her professional contacts.

Please don't just try to tough it out until Monday! I've been in a place similar to where you are now, and it doesn't get better--or stay the same--by itself. It only gets worse.

You need help right now.

Please keep us posted on how you're doing...we care very much about you.

**SNOOPY** · 10-04-2011, 08:12 PM

I am glad you are in touch with your PC.

If your emotional state is medication induced it will only get worse

I don't believe waiting until November is realistic or safe.

I understand you don't want to be in patient again. To get you stablized quickly and to figure out which medication(s) may be causing the problem, going in patient may be the best and safest option.

Take care

**kittysmith** · 10-04-2011, 08:26 PM

I really think I'll be OK. I just needed to get these feelings out in the open. I've had a panic disorder since I was a child that was never addressed until I was well out of college. I've always had psych issues. I just have never felt so frustrated. I took my Avonex shot during the day on Saturday instead of at night. I felt horrible. Had forgotten about all those flu like symptoms. The whole weekend I was just "off".

**empirerecs** · 10-05-2011, 03:37 PM

hi kittysmith -

I've been thinking about you since you posted and am very worried. you are on so many different meds. I understand how you feel about being in patient too but sometimes I wish they would have done that to me - I've had issues my whole life as well and didn't get help until I was an adult. I've been on some weird combos of meds and think I am again and I just want it straightened out too. I hope you are feeling better today, but I still think you need to make a huge plea to get in to the doc and make sure it's not a drug reaction, I totally agree with Snoopy.

let us know -

**hope32** · 10-05-2011, 09:02 PM

Thinking of you. Please don't hesitate to call your therapist or psychiatrist earlier if you have these feelings again. I realize it's difficult without a car, but there are ways around that. The important thing is that you get the help you need and stay safe.

**billiejeane** · 10-07-2011, 01:48 AM

Originally Posted by kittysmith

I really think I'll be OK. I just needed to get these feelings out in the open. I've had a panic disorder since I was a child that was never addressed until I was well out of college. I've always had psych issues. I just have never felt so frustrated. I took my Avonex shot during the day on Saturday instead of at night. I felt horrible. Had forgotten about all those flu like symptoms. The whole weekend I was just "off".

Good. And I don't understand what the e.r. would do? Or an inpatient facility. They arent gonna adjust meds,they will put you on more. And if I come off as abrasive,Im sorry. I just know the system. I think she is better coming here to VENT and not told to go to the ward. I know the medical system. I am in homehealth nursing,I call the doc for my pts.,not e.r.,or a mental ward. really? She knows herself well enuff to come here VENT and admit to supporters what she has been doing. If you were having suicidal idealization,I would still say see your doc and not go to the mental ward. Been a nurse a lllllllllllong time. Even worked in mental hospital. The docs do not have enuff 1 on 1 time for you. Come here. You seem to be in touch with what your feeling.

**billiejeane** · 10-07-2011, 01:53 AM

Originally Posted by kittysmith

I really think I'll be OK. I just needed to get these feelings out in the open. I've had a panic disorder since I was a child that was never addressed until I was well out of college. I've always had psych issues. I just have never felt so frustrated. I took my Avonex shot during the day on Saturday instead of at night. I felt horrible. Had forgotten about all those flu like symptoms. The whole weekend I was just "off".

Exactly! and talk to your therapist Monday. thats good. I think inpatient is not the place to just waltz into unless your therapist thinks its a good idea. And the e.r.? They do not know psychiatric at all. good luck.

**billiejeane** · 10-07-2011, 01:58 AM

Originally Posted by kittysmith

I am in contact with my PC. She knows most of what is going on. I am hoping to be able to hold out until my psychiatry appointment in November. I don't have a car, so it's hard for me to change appointments. I just got out of a partial inpatient program in July. They adjusted my meds then, but I just think I'm on too much stuff. I've already done the ER thing and have no desire to go inpatient. I'm just going to keep holding on until I can get some help. I do see my therapist on Monday. I think talking to her will help a lot. I know I'm going to have to go through the bad to get to the good, meaning trying new meds to get things right. Just dreading it. I had a particularly bad weekend. I do have a lot of support from friends and family.

Kitty,they always jack a pt. up on 2 much stuff when you go inpt. I bet your therapist can get you in with a psychiatrist sooner. And when i looked at your meds,The there are really only 2 that maybe you probably dont need. But,i'm not a doc,just a nurse,and i know what goes on behind the scenes.

**Sequoia** · 10-07-2011, 03:10 AM

Originally Posted by Sparky10

[SIZE=4]Posting on a fully-moderated message board is a poor substitute for any form of medical care, especially when the person is in distress.
[/SIZE]

I have to agree. Any message board, fully-moderated or not, isn't a substitute for medical care in a crisis (or at any other time, really).

I'm not a nurse, but I have considerable experience with psychiatric wards from the patient's perspective (once for myself, numerous times over the years for relatives, friends and the children of friends). In none of those instances have patients been overmedicated, and in fact, there have been times when the meds they were already taking have been reduced.

It's also been my experience that there's been quite a lot of one-on-one time with staff psychiatrists in the first few days. It's later, during a prolonged stay in inpatient treatment, that the psych visits become scarcer and are mostly replaced by group therapy (which can also be very helpful).

**kittysmith** · 10-07-2011, 07:17 PM

Originally Posted by Sequoia

I have to agree. Any message board, fully-moderated or not, isn't a substitute for medical care in a crisis (or at any other time, really).

I appreciate everyone's support. I reached out to people I thought would understand. Never did I put this message out as any type of medical care substitute. I'm having some psych issues. I'm not stupid. What is the difference between what I wrote any anyone else's "vent"?

I am doing well now. Still seeing my therapist on Monday. I had a rough couple of days.

I did a partial inpatient program this summer. It was a wonderful experience. They did help adjust my meds. I was feeling so much better that I did not follow up with the psychiatrist. That was a big mistake. I will get my meds adjusted soon.

Please don't downgrade inpatient care. It is the right place for some people. You can find help there.

I work at a hospital and did go to the ER before my partial inpt treatment. I agree that the ER is not always the best place. Basically, they took me to a psych transition unit where I sat in a room by myself until my husband came to pick me up. I think they checked on me twice, but never offered me any type of care. They asked if I wanted to go home. I said yes. They sent me home. I got much more help by calling my therapist.

Thank you all, again, for your concern. I'll see my therapist on Monday and hopefully, she can help me find some peace in my heart and my mind. I've had a lot of things going on. My father had a stroke and was moved into a nursing home. I also have a child with autism that is wonderful, but can be a challenge. I'm feeling a little lost, but I'm on the right track.

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