Hello everyone,
I used to post on this forum a few years ago. A friend of my girlfriend was recently diagnosed with MS, and it brought back a lot of memories for me.
In late 2004, on my first day of college, I called my dad and quickly discovered that I was unable to speak properly (slurring my speech). After going to the hospital I was asked if I was having any other weird neurological symptoms, and thinking back I remembered that I was feeling weak on my right side, and kept walking into the doorframe when I entered a room, like my balance was off or something. By the end of my ER visit, I was pretty much back to normal...Didn't last very long.
I had an MRI the next day which showed a single, very large lesion right in the middle of my brain. I was booked to meet with an MS doctor and he followed up with me. By the end of the week I was feeling much better, but I had developped pins and needles in my right side, as well as in the left side of my face. This would come for a week or so, go away, then come back, alternating for a few weeks.
I was never actually diagnosed with MS, but I continued to see my doctor. At this point I was not on any medication for the symptoms or for MS. I went through a very difficult time (I was 19 years old) dealing with the prospect of having MS, especially as I was just starting college. But I tried to remain positive, despite the ever present sense of fear that would never completely go away.
I was in limbo, not knowing what was happening or going to happen to me.
I waited...and I waited...About 4 month later of constant alternating episodes of pins and needles from my right side, to my left face, always lasting for a week, I woke up one day and it was gone. I was told that it was just a matter of time before it came back again.
I had more MRIs done...Still that same single big lesion, which was now starting to get smaller. Fortunately, no new lesions. Time passed, and slowly my fear started to become less and less of an issue.
In January it will have been 7 years since I suffered an episode (which was the only one I ever actually suffered). I was never diagnosed, and I have yet to get another lesion.
I consider myself very lucky. In fact, for a while I almost forgot about this entire ordeal. But with my friend being diagnosed, I feel like the fear has come back. It brought everything back and now I keep imagining my foot going numb, though I know it's in my head. I hate this feeling of uncertainty and this fear...I was doing so well, and now I've brought this stress back into my life.
I know many others have it worse. I'm not looking for pity or anything like that...I just needed to put this in words. I do not want to keep it bottled up inside...But I also don't want to burden my friends and family, who are already dealing with enough. I may not have MS, or maybe I do, or maybe I will. I don't know...But I do know that I need to get past this. I just don't know how.
I used to post on this forum a few years ago. A friend of my girlfriend was recently diagnosed with MS, and it brought back a lot of memories for me.
In late 2004, on my first day of college, I called my dad and quickly discovered that I was unable to speak properly (slurring my speech). After going to the hospital I was asked if I was having any other weird neurological symptoms, and thinking back I remembered that I was feeling weak on my right side, and kept walking into the doorframe when I entered a room, like my balance was off or something. By the end of my ER visit, I was pretty much back to normal...Didn't last very long.
I had an MRI the next day which showed a single, very large lesion right in the middle of my brain. I was booked to meet with an MS doctor and he followed up with me. By the end of the week I was feeling much better, but I had developped pins and needles in my right side, as well as in the left side of my face. This would come for a week or so, go away, then come back, alternating for a few weeks.
I was never actually diagnosed with MS, but I continued to see my doctor. At this point I was not on any medication for the symptoms or for MS. I went through a very difficult time (I was 19 years old) dealing with the prospect of having MS, especially as I was just starting college. But I tried to remain positive, despite the ever present sense of fear that would never completely go away.
I was in limbo, not knowing what was happening or going to happen to me.
I waited...and I waited...About 4 month later of constant alternating episodes of pins and needles from my right side, to my left face, always lasting for a week, I woke up one day and it was gone. I was told that it was just a matter of time before it came back again.
I had more MRIs done...Still that same single big lesion, which was now starting to get smaller. Fortunately, no new lesions. Time passed, and slowly my fear started to become less and less of an issue.
In January it will have been 7 years since I suffered an episode (which was the only one I ever actually suffered). I was never diagnosed, and I have yet to get another lesion.
I consider myself very lucky. In fact, for a while I almost forgot about this entire ordeal. But with my friend being diagnosed, I feel like the fear has come back. It brought everything back and now I keep imagining my foot going numb, though I know it's in my head. I hate this feeling of uncertainty and this fear...I was doing so well, and now I've brought this stress back into my life.
I know many others have it worse. I'm not looking for pity or anything like that...I just needed to put this in words. I do not want to keep it bottled up inside...But I also don't want to burden my friends and family, who are already dealing with enough. I may not have MS, or maybe I do, or maybe I will. I don't know...But I do know that I need to get past this. I just don't know how.
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