have you had thoughts of suicide

[skreynolds57]

Not so much in doing myself in but at an age and condition where death is acceptable. When I look 15 -20 down the line it isn't always pretty, things I struggle with now will just get worse. I can't imagine its not common to think of it, not that most of us would ever get serious.

Bottom line is it would be selfish and devastate many people.

[E_B_A]

I have. For me, it's not so much "I should kill myself" but more like a little voice suggesting it when things are going rotten. "Hey! You could always kill yourself." "Shut up little voice." "Well you could."

I'm not trying to be funny but it really is like that.

[isamadjul]

I lost my chance

I grew up as what was then called manic depressive. First time I tried to kill myself I was 15...over 15yrs later and the thought still creeps in but here I am!

Y am I still here u might ask...part of it is my brother killed himself 3ys ago this Oct. He was healthy, has a wonderful cute loveable dd, he has me and my sisters, our dad, our mom...my kids...the list could go on.

BUT he is gone! I never got to say goodbye! my kids never got to say goodbye! his dd won't remember him. he lost so much as did we!

2ys almost to the day I started to get really sick. And not a day goes bye that I don't think of him. and in those moments I sometimes get mad...not always for him leaving but for him being able to do it. I know that if I couldn't do it before I had kids and a dh I wouldn't beable to do it now. I look at my kids and still see the pain of his lose and I still have to hug my kids and let them cry cuz he is gone.

I lost my chance when I saw what happens when someone does do it. I lost the chance to bow out when I still can. Somedays I have trouble with that but most days I'm grateful that I know that even though I might have the thought I know that I will never put my kids through that pain again!