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Let's have some fun; stupid thing someone has said about dealing with MS

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    "Those comments"

    Hi guys, I have really enjoyed reading your posts (some with despair). Yes, I have had many of those comments too. The most hurtful one from my mother when first dx'd in 1987, I was married at the time (have now divorced him after 20+ years) - when I told her what the dx was after lots of tests etc. the first words out of her mouth were "Oh, poor J......(his name)"

    Needless to say to my parents the sun shone out of this guy - Mum denies she said this when I have brought it up, but really! I didn't want sympathy, just a little support would have been good. The only thing "poor J..." was worried about was how it would adversely affect his life. No concern for me or how I may feel.

    In conculsion, I have found that the majority of people, even those well-meaning and genuinely caring or concerned, just don't get it - particularly if there are no visible signs we have some kind of problem. You look ok. so you must be ok.

    ** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **

    Comment


      " Having pain means you're alive"

      From a cardiologist who couldn't determine the cause of my chest pain so discharged me with that wonderful sentiment.

      Yes it was MS hug. No I didn't feel joyous to be alive.

      Great thread!
      RRMS diagnosed 2005
      Rebif 2005-2008
      Copaxone 2009-2014
      SPMS 2014

      Comment


        An eye specialist actually told me...

        An eye specialist actually told me...

        I went to the eye doctor because my left eye wasn't seeing right. (This was before my MS DX, I was misdiagnosed for years. Anyway....) Colors were off, a little blurriness, etc. Well, he sent me to a specialist and after a bevy of tests, the specialist sat me down and said:

        "You just got over a cold you said, right?"
        "Yes, that's right."
        "Well, blowing your nose too hard put a lot of pressure on your optic nerve. It'll clear up on it's own, just needs time."

        3 months later it cleared up. Guess he was right! Heehe (sarcasm for the sarcasm impaired) LoL
        RIP Jenna's Beloved Momma
        Best MS Support System Ever
        7/42 - 12/12

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          The Best Comeback Ever!

          Forgot this, this will make you smile. It's not the worst comment, it's the best comeback ever!

          My momma and I were at the mall shopping. We were in the purse section and I wandered off. When I came back my momma was having a conversation with a sales clerk that had come up to her.

          Momma at some point had brought up that I had MS. I had recently been DX'd and she was proud. (My momma was awesome as you will see.... anyway)

          The saleslady had a snide stuck-up aura about her anyway so I wasn't surprised with her action and comment. She stood there in front of us and slowly looked me up then down, then back up again. And with a tone said:

          Sales Lady: "Funny... you don't LOOK sick."
          Momma: "Funny... you don't LOOK stupid."

          and we walked out laughing. I love my momma so much and so much at that moment. I miss her dearly, but she left me with great memories like that BEST COMEBACK EVER!

          Oh and those of you who like me get site reactions like scarring, red spots, bruising, dents in your thighs, etc. Don't be ashamed. I was, until my momma told me to be proud of them. "Those are your battle scars Jenna. Be proud." I wear shorts now

          Sandra Lyons
          RIP 12/5/12
          Beloved mother and best friend
          RIP Jenna's Beloved Momma
          Best MS Support System Ever
          7/42 - 12/12

          Comment


            Bless your momma, JennacydeL. I bet you do miss her~ May you always carry these memories with you as you proudly wear shorts! Bless you too!
            1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
            Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

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              "I don't know anything about MS but I know it's serious because they have a walk for it "

              Lawyer Friend

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                Mom's advice

                You wouldnt be so tired all the time if you got up and did something......said after I came to from passing out again and when I warned her it was going to happen again I was tired and fell myself going under.

                How can you not be tireder if you do even more when your already tired and out of fuel?
                I yam what I yam
                and that's all
                that I yam
                ~Popeye

                Comment


                  "Awww. You must be doing something nice for an elderly person."

                  My husband and I had spent several hours in a local pharmacy loading up on medical supplies/equipment to make my life a little easier. ( a shower stool, a muscle stimulater, heating pads and blankets, a cane, a muscle massager, handles for the shower and throughout the house, etc. etc.)
                  When we got to the register, a women behind us said, "Awww, you must be doing something nice for an elderly person. We are picking up my mother-in-law from the hospital and have bought similar supplies to make her comfortable." I told her, "Actually, this is all for me." (I'm 44) and she said "Oh, don't be silly."

                  I get the whole, "You don't look sick to me."

                  Comment


                    I'm 64 and my dx was in October 2014. In my earlier days I was one of those who said something stupid about some illnesses, though I don't think I ever did it with MS. In my own defense, and that of others, it makes people uncomfortable because they don't know what to say even though it is well-intentioned.

                    Once I got my dx I decided that my MS is on a "need to know" basis and most people don't need to know. I wanted to avoid those uncomfortable stupid comments but, more importantly, I don't want anyone to treat me any differently. Heck, I limped for the last few years before I knew it was MS and nobody said anything, though they may have wondered. Why should I go out of my way to tell them now?

                    I do have one friend I told, a fraternity brother from college. We went our separate ways for 40 years and when we finally reconnected it was like that 40 year break didn't exist. He has a host of health issues, being a diabetic since age six. They told him he would be lucky to live to the age of 40. He is still alive and kicking. In March I told him about my MS dx. His response was perfect. He simply acknowledged it and told me that wasn't going to say any of those things that people say. I think he may have thrown a couple of examples in at that point. Then we moved on to important things, like what we were going to order for breakfast.

                    I suspect that he has been on the receiving end of those kinds of things for the past 60 years and was as anxious to say them as he was to hear them, which is not at all. It's nice to find someone to be honest with and who understands.

                    Comment


                      Me: Mom, I have MS.
                      Mom: Where'd you get THAT?!?!

                      How do I answer that question? I think she meant because I come from a large family and no one in our family has it, but still. Sensitivity isn't her strong point. This is the woman who a few years back asked me how to send a group text message to announce my dad died.

                      When i told my sister she joked that I should stop going to the doctor and having tests run so they can stop finding stuff (also found out I had an umbilical hernia right around the same time).

                      My husband and the dogs have been fantastic! ☺️
                      "It matters not how strait the gate,
                      How charged with punishments the scroll,
                      I am the master of my fate,
                      I am the captain of my soul." ˜William Ernest Henley

                      Comment


                        I'm not officially diagnosed, but this was still a stupid comment about MS that was made to me by a very good glaucoma specialist (now retired), after asking me why I had been evaluated for MS back in 2007-8. I had replied (shortened here for space) that I had MRIs, EMG testing, was sent to memory clinic, etc due to heat intolerance, paraesthesias, fatigue, weakness, muscle spasms around my ribcage, all of which seemed to come back like clockwork three summers in a row in some way, shape, or form.

                        Now I have optic neuritis.

                        He replied "after hearing your health history, it doesn't sound like MS to me."

                        I guess you have to be unable to walk to have MS..
                        - Jennifer (42, mom of 3, PCP-suspected MS since 2006. POA Glaucoma since 2014. Optic Neuritis July, 2015)

                        Meanspiritedness sucks. If you don't want to suck, be nice.

                        Comment


                          stupid

                          Originally posted by JustJen View Post
                          I'm not officially diagnosed, but this was still a stupid comment about MS that was made to me by a very good glaucoma specialist (now retired), after asking me why I had been evaluated for MS back in 2007-8. I had replied (shortened here for space) that I had MRIs, EMG testing, was sent to memory clinic, etc due to heat intolerance, paraesthesias, fatigue, weakness, muscle spasms around my ribcage, all of which seemed to come back like clockwork three summers in a row in some way, shape, or form.

                          Now I have optic neuritis.

                          He replied "after hearing your health history, it doesn't sound like MS to
                          I guess you have to be unable to walk to have MS..
                          I went to my neurologist appt. and told her that Trazodone was making me feel suicidal. She asked a few questions and without even looking up from her notes started walking out the door saying"Well, I guess everything is status quo, you just want to up your Trazadone?"

                          Comment


                            self proclaimed expert

                            A friend told me she HAD MS. First MRI showed nothing. A second six months later showed two lesions and the doctor diagnosed her with MS. She read a diet book and used it. She was cured and the diagnosis was reversed when the next MRI showed no lesions.

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