anyone else have a spouse in the Military?

[ShanZro]

My husband is in the Army and is set to deploy later on this year and I am scared to death! Im not scared of him being deployed. This will be his 7th deployment since we got married so I know what to expect. I also know how stressed I am when he is away, stress of worrying about him, stress of being a single mom, stress of running the house alone etc. I am scared to death that the stress of it all will send me into a relapse Has anyone else dealt with a deployment? How did you handle the stress?

[SharonKY]

Yeppers......military spouse here.

[jphillips]

I was an army wife for 12 years before my divorce. So I may not count in your book anymore (being an "x") but I know what you are going through and I am sorry that you are dealing with this AGAIN! I used to be the Family Support Coordinator in my husband's unit. Deployments are terrible, I support the military 100% and have very much respect for every soldier, but it so hard on the families! I can hear the anxiety in your words. Its hard to "prepare" for what you know is coming. But like you did before, you will endure and you will get through it.

Do you have a good support system? Other wives in the same deployment? I know it will be exhausting, but you can do it. How long will his deployment be?

Just take your life down to the bare minimum to reduce your stress as much as possible.

How old are your children? This is not the time to try to prove anything to the rest of the world. You don't have to be super mom while dad is away.

And lower you standards with keeping up with the house while he is gone too. Just take off of yourself as much as you can and let things go a little. It will all catch up again when Hubby gets back.

Most importantly, to reduce your stress, take one day at a time!
Jenn.

[MSJimmy]

Multiple Deployments

I retired about a year and a half ago after serving 25 years on active duty in the Army. You probably are much more interested in what a spouse can tell you, but most of my career I spent in Special Operations Forces and am very familiar with multiple deployments into combat. Stress on my family was always hard and thank goodness they didn't have to deal with a disease like this while I was gone. I would really encourage you to take full advantage of the "Chain of Concern" (the Military Spouse Organizations) and let them know the difficulty you are having and the stress you feel. In my experience, they are generally the most compassionate, carrying, giving and self sacrificing group I have ever known. They all share a common bond and will help you get through the rough spots. MS is a terrible disease to struggle with and I know they will be very supportive. Hey, we all have that point in life where we have to have a little help. As an Airborne Ranger MS was a HUGE dose of humility for me. Again, I am sure you would rather hear from a spouse but I wish you the absolute best and feel confident that if you enlisted the help of the other spouses that you will find a lot of stress relief. Hope I helped you a little. Keep your chin up.

[michellern]

I'm totally with you! My husband is at his 2 week summer camp right now. They're planning on sending him on deployment Oct 31st-Jan 1st

I'm so stressed out trying to imagine how I'm going to get everything all done by myself. I think the others have some great suggestions though. Take care of yourself. Don't take on too much. Ask for help from family and friends. All easier said than done, I know.

We'll make it through this though!

[jphillips]

You ladies are stronger than you even realize! Enjoy every day from now until the deployment! Don't let the stress of what's coming steal what you have now. I know you have things to do to prepare, but keep it all in perspective and find the joy in every day. I know that is easier said than done but its the precious times you can have now that will help carry you on your tough days later.

Don't stop reaching out to people.

[rocky282]

Yes

My husband just became a disabled VET and was forced into early retirement. We first discovered I had MS when he was away from us and it darn near killed me. I was living hours from family and new no one. My biggest bit of advice is have someone a friend or family member who can come over once a day and give you a break. I ended up hiring a baby sitter to come over and sit with me for an hour a day. She helped with dishes and cooking and just generally let me cry on her shoulder. We are still friends, and I think without her I would have gone much further down hill.