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Helplessly following the Twist and turns of fate...

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    Helplessly following the Twist and turns of fate...

    hello
    Im new here, newly married, newly pregnant and new in the role of a carepartnership with my husband who was diagnosed with ms in april '10. He is 34 years old. Its seems like in the past six months i have acquired a whole new life .

    I met my husband in sept 09. He was having problems with coordination and vision problems then. He had had laser vision correction twice and attributed the balance issues to lack of depth perception because of it. I was a med student in pakistan then(my husband i are both from pakistan but he has migrated to canada) When he told me about his symptoms i convinced him that he needed to see a neurologist.( i suspected a cerebellar tumor as he has a strong family history of brain cancer) His Gp in canada however didn't give him a referral saying that he was being paranoid. In dec 09 around the same time when we got engaged his condition worsened significantly from being able to jog everyday he could-not walk 500 meters without aide...after about four weeks of this he recovered but not completely there is still significant weakness in his left leg which tends to drag sometimes, he cannot run anymore and is easily fatigued.

    After that episode he was referred to a neurologist and was diagnosed with MS in April. There was a 6 months wait for the radiologist appointment but we managed to convince them to move it up a few months. His MRI showed 30+ lesions. The doctor at the ms clinic suspects it to be progressive but wasn't sure because of my husbands history. Only time will tell.

    He is now on Betaseron. His fatigue is getting worse and worse. The leg weakness is also present along with balance issues but they don't seem to be worsening.
    After are honeymoon i found out i was pregnant despite birth control. Although i had always wanted kids i wasn't really over the moon about it when i found out. The future doesn't look so rosy right now. I have no idea how i would manage a baby, give Canada's medical licensing exam if i want to have a career there and later my residency and my husbands need all together along with all the household tasks. Not to mention the financial implications it will have if i have to take over the role of primary breadwinner before my residency is over...

    i'm dazed, confused and scared about the uncertain future. The worse thing about all of this is seeing the man i love deeply suffer through this everyday.I think that is what scares me the most that i would not be able to see him get bad from worse.

    I found this site looking for some sort of support.Most of our friends and family either don't know much about ms or don't want to talk about it. Even my husband tends to only discuss treatment options but nothing else about the disease and its implications. Knowing as much as i know bout this disease being a doctor (which to be honest is not alot more then a well informed patient) i know nothing about how to deal with the emotional havoc it wrecks inside me everyday. I'm hoping meeting other people with MS and their loved ones will help in giving me a broader perspective.
    tc

    #2
    welcome

    Hello mrs.khan and welcome,

    I'm so impressed by your concern for your husband and by your personal strength as you think about all you and he may have to face. You make me so thankful for my own husband, and sorry for all the pressure he must feel that he doesn't share with me.

    This MS journey has never been as bad as my worst fears. I hope that is true for you and your husband.

    I'm glad you came to MSWorld and pray that you will find the support here that you miss from your own friends and family. I've only been reading and posting here a short time, but I am so comforted to see that there are people who experience and understand the same things I go through. There is a special section about Relationships and Carepartnering, be sure to check in there.

    One last thing, be sure to take care of yourself! You'll be better able to care for your husband and baby if you take care of yourself, too.

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      #3
      Hello Mrs Khan

      Welcome to MS World - nice to meet you!

      Goodness, you've had alot of changes to deal with in the past year. It's understandable to be dazed, confused, and scared about the uncertain future.

      What many of us do, (or try to do for the most part), is take each day as it comes living one day at a time. Ruminating about the future and worst case scenarios only adds to the stress and confusion, and takes away from the present.

      I don't have any answers for all of your concerns, but wanted to offer support. This is a wonderful place, as there are many caring, understanding, and supportive folks at MS World. Also wanted to let you know that many of us have sought help from therapy. Personally, I found it to be extremely beneficial to me.

      In any case, thanks for sharing your story. Things will work out, one way or another. Maybe not the way you hoped or planned - but unfortunately that's how life goes sometimes.

      Keep us informed as to how you and your husband are doing. Wishing you both the best!

      Take care,
      KoKo
      PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
      ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

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