This summer has been great. I was able to take 3 less pills a day! I did not feel as though I was watching a clock to remind myself to take my meds before it was too late. I did not feel the need to make excuses about stumbling in class verbally and physically. I go back to my neuro on Thursday and part of me wants to ask about disability. I love the students and would miss them a great deal. My fear is that when school starts again my symptoms will increase and I will have less to give my own family. Any thoughts??????
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Back to work
I'm worried myself about going back to the classroom. I had a relapse before school ended. I haven't ever completely recovered. I'm worried that I won't be able to handle the school days. I don't want to go on disability. I know my neuro wants me to work as long as I can. He believes that if I stop working I will actually get worse.
I'm just really scared....I guess only time will tell. The idea of being out of the classroom and still paying off my student loans worries me too! How horrible would that be?!
Oh well. I will have to take it one day at a time.
I wish you the best with what ever you decide to do. Teaching isn't the easiest job, but I haven't ever met a teacher that was in this profession because it was easy, or for the money..... -
Thankfully I teach at a christian school so my administration is really good to me. I am also lucky that my three children are at the school as well as my husband. This is also bad though because my oldest two are in middle school so when I mess up or become "clumsy" the feel embarassed. I too want to work as long as I can because I am afraid I will give up. The money is not an issue because I hardly make any....
I was at the neuro this past week and he put me on two additional pills and increased another. He is hoping this will help.
I have one week left of summer vacatation and then I go back and like you I will be taking it one day at a time.
Hope all goes well with you.Comment
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school loans
I'm finding that I can do more than I think. In other words, the fear of not being able to do something is exceeding any of my actual issues. But I know that won't always be the case, so all best in figuring out the best solution, each and every one of you.
Maryann -
If you have government loans (Perkins, Stafford etc.), you can get a deferment for illness. If you become "substantially disabled", even with something you knew about when you signed the loan papers, you can be eligible to have the loans excused. I read that very carefully when I signed the papers a couple months after my diagnosis.
My teaching doesn't start until late September, but I'm already dreading having to make the syllabus - I adjunct at a local college. It's a required class that the administration doesn't feel like paying a full-time person to teach. And the students are only mildly interested in the topic. Good kids, and reasonably bright, but my class is not their priority. I'm not quite a big enough person to keep that from bruising my ego.
Wishing everyone the best as "our" year begins!Comment
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edu6th-
I, too, begin school in about a week and am feeling nervous about the new year. This summer has been calm, MS-wise (otherwise- hectic-ish). Last spring, I struggled with serious anxiety/depression/fatigue. In May, I started Rebif. Since then, a lot of the "freak-ee-out-ee-ness" has calmed down.
It is my hope that the med switch will help ease me back into the classroom. I saw that your doc had added some meds for you- I hope they help you. It would be nice to hear how things start off (and continue) for you this year.
Sending positive thoughts (from the northland) your way.Comment
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I understand your concerns. It's hard to teach when fatigued or unbalanced physically or in pain. I just try to weigh it out: will I be able to give enough to my students? I don't ever want to compromise their learning.
I had a bad exacerbation that was at its worst from October-December last year. It was my students who helped me the most (even though they didn't know). I would be frustrated and sad and not feeling well, but once I got to school and got teaching, my kids would energize me. So for a few hours I would sort of forget the MS and just be a regular person, a regular teacher. That was so good for my mental health.
My bosses were super supportive and the only ones who knew what was going on. My students were helpful and didn't notice too much. And that was actually a relief because in my mind, my clumsiness and lack of coordination were super obvious. They noticed my handwriting was off, but otherwise I was just me to them.
But I did take naps most days when I got home and I went to bed very early. It was hard to get through all my grading. I don't have kids, so that gives me a lot more time. Last fall was a very difficult time, but I don't regret working while going through it. It taught me that I'm stronger and more competent than I realize. I'm on some more meds now that have helped. I hope your meds are working well and that you have a great year, whatever you decide.
p.s. My dad gave me a sign with this quote on it: "Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. -- Christopher Robin to Pooh"Comment
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