NEW HERE

[Susy]

HI,
I AM FAIRLY NEW HERE TO MSWORLD. WAS DIAGONISED JANUARY OF 2009 WITH MS AND CAN'T SEEM TO GET MY HEAD AROUND IT.

I'M 45 AND MARRIED TO A GREAT GUY, WE JUST CELEBRATED OUR 15TH ANNV. YESTERDAY.

IS IT ME? OR DO OTHERS FEEL THE SAME WAY? I AM ASHAMED OF WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK, I FEEL TOTALLY ALONE, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M FEELING BAD SOMETIMES BECAUSE OF THE MS OR JUST BECAUSE...UGH. I'M SCARED TO DEATH.

AT THE MOMENT I AM FEELING TOTALLY ALONE..I AM MARRIED TO A WONDERFUL MAN...BUT I CAN'T SHARE THIS WITH HIM..WHY YOU WONDER? BECAUSE HE HAS PARKINSON'S AND IT HAS REALLY GRABBED HOLD OF HIM AND IF HE WERE TO REALLY KNOW HOW SCARED, CONFUSED, ASHAMED, AND ALONE I FELT IT WOULD TEAR HIM UP..HE JUST DOESN'T DEAL WITH THINGS WELL ANYMORE AND I CAN'T DO IT TO HIM.

SORRY FOR VENTING..

SUSY

[KoKo]

Hello Susy

Welcome to the MS World Forums - nice to meet you.

Happy Anniversary to you and your husband. Fifteen years is an accomplishment

I think there are many of us with MS who feel alone at times. Actually, I feel it most when friends or family are doing things I am unable to do. Or when I'm around others and their conversations seem so trivial and shallow. Of course my attitudes and priorities in life have changed so much due to the MS.

It's ok to vent here, as most of us do understand the many challenges and feelings that living with MS can bring.

I'm sorry that both you and your husband are dealing with chronic illnesses. It takes courage to "keep on keeping on". Hopefully you will benefit from what MS World has to offer in the way of information, support, and the shared experiences of others with MS.

Take care,
KoKo

[Susy]

Koko,

Thanks for the warm welcome. It's nice to know someone is there. Today is one of those feeling totally alone days.

[JoanFrances]

Hi Susy

just come and visit us any time you feel alone.

Why would you be ashamed because of having MS. You didn't do anything to get this nasty thing.

Sorry to hear you also have the worry of your hubby being ill too. That makes it harder to consentrate on taking care of you.

Come back and let us know how you are doing. Vent, rant or share, it helps for sure.

[Susy]

Thank you for the welcome Joan...feeling ashamed..i don't know...guess it's a matter of getting my head around it and not feeling alone. thanks for the warm welcome.

[JoanFrances]

Thank you for the welcome Joan...feeling ashamed..i don't know...guess it's a matter of getting my head around it and not feeling alone. thanks for the warm welcome.

We can all understand that it is hard to wrap your head around the idea of having MS and how it is going to impact your life. But the way I deal with this is, we never know what is coming even if we don't have MS. What will be, will be.

Life is a gift no matter what the challenges may be, so I untie all the bows I can, sometimes it is a surprise I like sometimes it isn't but tomorrow is a new day.

Hang in there and please do come back and share your journey with us.

[chaseyshorts]

Hi Susy!

Happy Anniversary!!

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis along with your hubby's! I hope that there will come a time for you when you can feel comfortable speaking with him regarding this. But in the meantime, feel free to come and rant over here. This is great place with many great people with great insight! It's just GREAT! LOL

I was just diagnosed May 28th... at first I didn't want to talk about it with anyone. I'm not sure if I was ashamed... I just didn't want people feeling sorry for me. I dislike when they give you that look and say their sorry and don't know what else to say.

Now I'm okay with it now. Don't go announcing it to everyone but do feel much better talking with a few friends. I'm finding it harder with family because everyone is trying to push something on me. If it's no wheat grass, it's other natural things. I really appreciate it but I want to take it slowly instead of starting 10 different things.

Hope you're having a good day today!

[Day11]

Welcome...

I have been diagnosed with ms since 6/6/08 and still can't get my head around it.

I have found my greatest strength from others that have an illness that is difficult. From Cancer, to lupus and other invisible diseases.

I think the fact that your husband has Parkinson's is a blessing in disguise. I imagine he too feels alone often having to deal with something so difficult for others to understand.

Maybe if you did discuss it you would find that the man that has spent the past 15+ years with you would be relieved to offer strength to you Vs. you to him. You are NOT alone, and yes it does feel that way to me too.

This MonSter isn't nice at times and well, we know that there are many "worse" things that we could endure.... but it doesn't make it easier to cope with. I am tired hearing about how well I seem to be doing... because well, I am sick of being sick.

Love, laugh and be you! Sometimes that "you" doesn't have to be okay with the cards dealt.

Welcome and know that you have a new community of people that DO understand and you are not alone.

[hunterd]

HI SUZY, WELCOME AND HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!! VENT ALL YOU WANT HERE, WE`VE ALL BEEN THERE(MANY TIMES)!!! ANYTIME YOU HAVE A QUESTION, NEED ADVICE OR A SHOULDER, WE`LL BE HERE FOR YOU. GOOD LUCK WITH YOU AND HUBBY.

DAVE

[MBC3mom]

Hi Suzy,
I do know how you feel. I was diagnosed 12/08, although I've had sx for at least 11 years now. My dh was diagnosed with diabetes 1/08. We have been married 18 years as of 6/15/10. I love him dearly, but he is a macho man, has difficulty showing his emotions, and stresses himself out about money matters and "providing for his family". I have always worked, even though my fondes dream has always been to be a stay at home mom. I will be 50 this summer (he is 53) and we have a 17 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. You would not believe it, but my 17 year old seems to have more issues with my limitations (he hates the clutter and dirty house - oh well, I bought him a vacuum cleaner, but he only uses it in his own room lol!) We also have a 25 year old son away at college - (from a previous relationship of mine, but my dh adoped him when we married).

I do get depressed sometimes, thinking about all the things I used to do with my boys and all the things I wish I could do now with my baby girl. But, I just don't have the energy after working all week to do very much. Our biggest shared passion is shopping ) which we certainly couldn't do if I stopped working.

I have expressed some of my fears to my dh, but I can see how stressed out he gets (even though he tells me everything will be ok). I don't want him to have a heart attack, so I know I need to keep going as long as I can. I worry that my performance will continue to go downhill and I will lose my job - that makes me feel scared and alone!

[KureMS]

54th B'Day and 11th Anniversary with MS

Hi Suzy, I'm sorry you're having somewhat of a tough time with MS. I can not honestly say I can identify, because today is my 54th BDay and all my bday's are special. At age 32 I was diagnosed with 2 brain tumors and I thought for sure I'd never see age 40. They were so painful that I wanted to shoot myself sometimes, hoping it would rid me of the pain (never thought about ending my life though!). By the time I was 36 I had another brain tumor, and by the time I actually reached age 40 I had a 4th brain tumor. The first 3 were successfully removed and the 4th was radiated, leaving just a smidgeon. By the time another 4 years rolled around I was feeling pain again, only this time in my back. I was actually relieved to find that it was MS and not a 5th round of brain tumors. That was 11 yrs ago. The medications continually improve so that my pain is managed as long as I take my medication. And I take my meds RELIGIOUSLY. As for telling people, I don't tell everyone, just those I feel like telling. And when I do tell people they most often say, you don't look like you have MS. Well 1st of all, I'm not sure what "MS looks like " and 2nd, I'm usually not out where people can see me on a bad day, but I do have them. I feel I am lucky. I have disability status which allows me to be at home on bad days, and I found this site where I can learn about a lot of MS issues from people like me. I wish you well and hope that you'll find some advantages? associated MS.

[Susy]

Happy Birthday KureMS

Thanks for sharing with me....I am workin' on it so hopefully it will all make sense! I think this place is perfect and many oh so many have made me feel so welcome!

I have learned more in the week I've been here then since I was diagnosed.

I hope to ask a lot of questions tomorrow when I go to the drs. It's been a rough week...it is so good to know that I am not alone, despite how i feel most the time.

[KureMS]

So How's It going of Dr. Appt?

Happy Birthday KureMS

Thanks for sharing with me....I am workin' on it so hopefully it will all make sense! I think this place is perfect and many oh so many have made me feel so welcome!

I have learned more in the week I've been here then since I was diagnosed.

I hope to ask a lot of questions tomorrow when I go to the drs. It's been a rough week...it is so good to know that I am not alone, despite how i feel most the time.

Hope you got answers at your dr. - How are things going for you now? I've had a couple of bad days, but mostly good and looking forward to more!