Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I don't think I can take much more!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I don't think I can take much more!

    This last month has almost pushed me to my limit. It started out with having the outpatient procedure to put in a suprapubic catheter. About 30 minutes into being in recovery I went sepsis, my fever spiked to 104, my heart rate doubled and my blood pressure dropped to 69 over 50.

    The day after I got home we had to take my service dog to the vet and found out that he has cancer. Just to do the biopsy to find out if it's malignant or benign would cost us hundreds of dollars and then regardless of the outcome they would want to remove it and that would be thousands of dollars, neither of which is an option for us.

    He's going to be 12 years old soon and so we made the choice to bring him home and just love him until it's time that we have to make the choice to let him go. Just the stress from those things would be enough on someone with MS but I'm dealing with a catheter that was put in that I've never heard of (a pigtail), that is shredding the inside of my bladder!

    Last Wednesday I ended up back in the emergency room with another UTI, and once again I was in admitted to the hospital for antibiotics. If I all of that wasn't hard enough, my husband does not process stress in a healthy manner and so even though I know he's just as upset about what's going on as I am, his way to deal with it is to yell and cuss and basically everything to stress me out even more.

    I would truly appreciate your prayers during this time! Not only is my husband my full-time caregiver, but he works full-time. He's usually gone from 8 in the morning till 7 or 8 at night but he also has to put in basically a full-time job before he goes to work and when he gets home being my caregiver.

    #2
    I am so sorry to read of all the stressors you are facing right now especially your dear pup. I will send prayers and although you didn't sound suicidal your title worried me. Here is an article with many hotlines for all types of things. If not for you maybe for someone else reading this would benefit.

    https://psychcentral.com/lib/common-...phone-numbers/
    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    Anonymous

    Comment


      #3
      I too am so sorry, IAmStrength for all you have had to endure. Life in general seems so unfair at times! Hold on to that username you gave yourself - I Am Strength and know that prayers are being sent your way.

      Is there any way possible that someone - a friend or family member - can be with you at times during the day to help you get over this hurdle?

      I am sorry too about your beloved dog. Sending prayers and (((Hugs))) your way
      1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
      Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

      Comment


        #4
        I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this right now. That sounds really rough just for someone without MS, but for you it makes it 10x worse.

        I am also so sorry to hear about your sweet dog. I just had my dog suddenly pass away last Thursday without warning so I completely understand how hard this must be for you. They aren’t just dogs, they are family.

        Sending many thoughts and prayers your way.



        “Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows.”
        ― Helen Keller

        Comment


          #5
          All I can say is I feel your pain. This old world seems to be one big mistake at times. It's tough getting through it, but I hope that you will soon see some light and happiness in that tunnel.
          Marti




          The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

          Comment


            #6
            Thoughts and prayers to you I am strength

            A lot to deal with at once.... IT WILL GET BETTER ... stay positive, and hang in there

            God Bless

            Rob

            Comment


              #7
              My heart goes out to you.. your husband and pup
              May G-d help the three of you..
              My thoughts and prayers are with you..

              Linda
              Linda

              Comment


                #8
                I am so sorry you are having to endure so much. I know just how much it hurts to lost a pet and it also being your service dog. I am so sorry.

                I hope the suprapubic cath. get better and works out for you. I have often thought about getting one.

                You will certainly be in my prayers.
                God Bless Us All

                Comment


                  #9
                  You truly have been given a lot to handle. I pray you feel better soon. We lost our dog in February. I know for you, it is even tougher since a service dog too, not just a family member.
                  Kathy
                  DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I am so sorry you are having to endure so much. I know just how much it hurts to lost a pet and it also being your service dog. I am so sorry.

                    I hope the suprapubic cath. get better and works out for you. I have often thought about getting one.

                    You will certainly be in my prayers.
                    God Bless Us All

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Overwhelmed

                      Originally posted by Jules A View Post
                      I am so sorry to read of all the stressors you are facing right now especially your dear pup. I will send prayers and although you didn't sound suicidal your title worried me. Here is an article with many hotlines for all types of things. If not for you maybe for someone else reading this would benefit.

                      https://psychcentral.com/lib/common-...phone-numbers/
                      Thank goodness I have a great support team a strong faith and even though I'm greatly overwhelmed suicide is never been an option in my mind to solve anything.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Hi Iamstrength sorry to hear you are having such a hard time and as another dog lover I know they are part of the family Craig

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Sorry for just disappearing!

                          Hi everyone! I am so sorry for basically dropping off the face of MS World. I cannot believe it's been almost two years since I've made that post and I never came back to update. Unfortunately about a month later we did have to make that horrible choice to let Jake go but we knew it wasn't fair to him if we were only keeping him alive for us.

                          I took a picture of him a couple of hours before him and Daddy went to the vet and it's hard to look at because he looks so healthy but I could see in his eyes that he was telling me that it was okay, that it was time.

                          I ended up in the hospital a couple weeks later and my wonderful physical therapist suggested that they transfer me to rehab for about 10 days which was such a hard decision but in the end a good one!

                          I have the most amazing brother and while he knew that there was no way I was ready to have another dog, he also knew that being home by myself would not be good for me.

                          He ended up going to the Humane Society and was looking at getting me a cat. He had one that he knew I would love but for some reason he kept being drawn to this black kitten and even though he didn't know if I liked black cats he said he felt like he had to get him for me! They took care of him until I was well enough to come home am I ended up naming him Oreo.

                          I know exactly why my brother was drawn to him, he is the cat version of my service dog Jake!! The biggest thing is that he totally knows when my husband comes home, I have no idea how! We have a small laundry basket by the front door and he will jump up and sit on it. The first time he did it my husband started crying because he was missing not having Jake run to greet him at the door but now our cat does! Anytime I feel down or just not feeling good all of a sudden he jumps up in my lap! God is so awesome!

                          The last two years haven't been easy but that's not a surprise! Next week we are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary and for the first time in five years we are actually renting an accessible van and heading back to Monterey California where we had our honeymoon!

                          That's our prayer for this year is that we are able to get an accessible van. I have not been able to ride in the same car with my husband driving since Jake passed. The day before he left us, I received my power chair and what a blessing that it has been!

                          I have so much more access to life now and since we live right next door to our towns Transit Center, I have been all over this place!
                          The new found freedom has given me part of my life back!

                          The MS life is definitely one big roller coaster ride but my husband and I have found that laughter is our best defense against the ups and downs!

                          I pray that everyone who spoke kind words to me 2 years ago on this post is doing well!!

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Hello IAmStrength

                            What a heartwarming and uplifting update! Thank you!

                            So glad for you that you now have your cat Oreo, and a new power chair to enhance your life.

                            Hope you are able to get an accessible van this year as well.

                            Happy 5th wedding anniversary next week - have a great California trip celebration!

                            Keep that sense of humor going during those ups and downs.

                            Take Care
                            PPMS for 26 years (dx 1998)
                            ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Thanks for the inspiring update IAmStrength!

                              Even though you've had a roller coaster ride, it sounds like things have evened out a bit for you. And yes, the old adage is so true that "laughter is the best medicine".

                              So glad you have a new cat (I love the name Oreo), a new power chair and a wonderful brother and husband who look out for and love you

                              Happy Anniversary and have lots of fun in California!
                              Keep in touch!
                              1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
                              Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X