OK, so maybe this doesn't qualify as "The Good Life", but I haven't posted any of my antics lately and thought I was overdue. We live inland. FAR inland. There are no ponds or lakes to speak of for many miles around; no rivers, certainly no oceans. And we had what can only be described as a hurricane this afternoon. I know hurricanes, because I've seen them on TV. From the comfort of my inland home. I never intended to be in the middle of one, because I'm terrified of high winds. And don't like water. Hence the whole living inland thing.
The day started out beautifully. The dog and I spent the morning on the back porch just enjoying the sunshine and fresh breeze. The birds were singing; the bunnies were frolicking. I'd intended to do yard work this afternoon. And that's where I made my mistake. Remember my last attempts at doing yard work? First the bear, then the grapevines. I should've known that I'd jinxed myself.
I was inside taking a break when it started getting dim outside. No big deal. We've had rain off and on for days now, and mostly it just clouds up, spits at us, and goes away. The next thing I know, there's a heavy downpour. OK. I like heavy downpours. Rain without thunder, lightning, and wind is quite soothing. But then the wind picked up. And before I could blink, my trees were bending sideways. The rain was coming from all directions with a visibility of less than 8'. I couldn't see past the edge of my porch. The lights started flickering. I cleared a path to the cellar and turned the light on, wondering if I could make it to the bottom of the steps with one giant leap. The dog's underfoot, following me from window to window as I try to see if the neighbors have blown away.
This went on for more than an hour, and then...it just stopped. Like a very unfunny God had gotten tired of His little joke and decided to turn off the faucet and move on to wreak havoc somewhere else. My peony and forsythia bushes now look like weird green pancakes. The flagpole is broken in half. Half my apple tree is in the neighbor's yard. The top 10' of my 24" diameter maple tree snapped off and just slid down the trunk. Slid. Down the trunk. Didn't fall in the road. Didn't hit the house. No, it was just standing there like it's perfectly normal for one tree to have two trunks. It's still standing there, and it's going to remain standing there if I have anything to say about it.
I think it took another hour before my heartbeat slowed down to normal. I am never making plans to do yard work ever again.
The day started out beautifully. The dog and I spent the morning on the back porch just enjoying the sunshine and fresh breeze. The birds were singing; the bunnies were frolicking. I'd intended to do yard work this afternoon. And that's where I made my mistake. Remember my last attempts at doing yard work? First the bear, then the grapevines. I should've known that I'd jinxed myself.
I was inside taking a break when it started getting dim outside. No big deal. We've had rain off and on for days now, and mostly it just clouds up, spits at us, and goes away. The next thing I know, there's a heavy downpour. OK. I like heavy downpours. Rain without thunder, lightning, and wind is quite soothing. But then the wind picked up. And before I could blink, my trees were bending sideways. The rain was coming from all directions with a visibility of less than 8'. I couldn't see past the edge of my porch. The lights started flickering. I cleared a path to the cellar and turned the light on, wondering if I could make it to the bottom of the steps with one giant leap. The dog's underfoot, following me from window to window as I try to see if the neighbors have blown away.
This went on for more than an hour, and then...it just stopped. Like a very unfunny God had gotten tired of His little joke and decided to turn off the faucet and move on to wreak havoc somewhere else. My peony and forsythia bushes now look like weird green pancakes. The flagpole is broken in half. Half my apple tree is in the neighbor's yard. The top 10' of my 24" diameter maple tree snapped off and just slid down the trunk. Slid. Down the trunk. Didn't fall in the road. Didn't hit the house. No, it was just standing there like it's perfectly normal for one tree to have two trunks. It's still standing there, and it's going to remain standing there if I have anything to say about it.
I think it took another hour before my heartbeat slowed down to normal. I am never making plans to do yard work ever again.
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