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Starting Over Again At 57

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    Starting Over Again At 57

    I've had RRMS since 1995. By 2000 I gave up on any form of dating, I felt lonely and isolated till 2012. I was determined not to spend the rest of my life alone. I lost 100 pounds, had extensive Physical Therapy to walk again with the aide of a cane, had all my teeth capped, it was like a complete work over of me. This took me 2 years, and in December 2014, I was ready to get back into society again. I joined a local MS Support Group, and have great friends again. My dream is to find a lady to be my significant other, who also has MS. Now going on 5 months, and still have not been able to connect with an available lady. Seems every fellow MSer is married. I live in the Philadelphia PA area. Does any one have any suggestions where single MSers can find each other?

    ChristopherG, congratulations on all your hard work losing weight, PT, walking again and resuming a social life that includes great friends. Have you considered a dating website?

    In the last week there was a post for opinions about the best time to disclose MS when dating. The post was in the General Questions topics thread.

    I don't have advice to offer, but do want to wish you good luck and lots of praise for your decision.


      Have you considered posting on General Questions board? Recommend that you give it a try, the feedback will probably be much better than on the Family Room.

      Take care and good luck.


        Hi Christopher:
        My local NMSS chapter has support groups for singles. Does your local chapter have a singles group you might not be aware of?

        I'm also thinking that there might be other singles with MS in your area who don't go to the MS support groups because everybody at the general groups seems to be married. Might there be other singles looking for an MS group, and there's an unmet need for an MS singles group where your chapter is? It might be worth inquiring about.

        And maybe an NMSS or other MS group chapter that's not immediately near you might have a singles group. Are you willing to drive a ways to go to an MS singles group in another area?

        Your story of remaking yourself is so inspiring! Best of luck with your adventure!



          Thanks, I'll re-post on the General question board. I did try 2 different on line dating websites. On one I didn't mention my MS and use of a cane. I made some introductions, the first 2, I revealed my issues on-line in our messaging, and afterwards never heard from them again. I made an other introduction on-line and set up a date at the local coffee shop. She told me what see was wearing, so as she walked in, I flagged her down. We had a great conversation and was getting to know each other. My cane was under the table on another chair, she never saw it. As we where ready to leave together, she saw me pull out the cane. Which started another whole new conversation. Afterwards she smiled and said "I have to go now". We never exchanged phone numbers, I reach out to her on the website, she never responded. The second website I mentioned my issues in my profile, not one lady reached out to me, I would reach out to ladies and after they viewed my profile, they never responded back.


            ChristopherG, so sorry to hear the website responses haven't met your expectations. I imagine for people a certain age, using a cane, with MS, those sites can take a bit longer than for those with youth, beauty and good health.

            I can only suggest that you try to be a bit more patient, and use multiple dating websites. When disclosing your MS try some celebrity MS references for comic relief. I grasping at straws here, but don't lose hope. When you least expect it that special person might find you.



              Thanks for the Info, I'll be contacting the Greater Delaware Valley MS Chapter, for some advise. Thanks Again.


                Update on my journey on "starting over at 57"

                I first posted in January 2015, Since a lot has happened. As the year progressed, my dream was seeming more impossible to achieve. In April my mother (With Alzheimer) passed away. I had accepted the thought of being alone the rest of my life, due to my MS.

                In June I joined an MS site (MS Pals). I started texting Donna who lives 650 miles away in South Carolina. By July we exchanged E-Mail's, Phone Numbers and started Video Messaging. Donna and I are the same age, I was Dx in '95 and Donna in '98. We both walk with a cane and weak on the left side. By August, we were communicating numerous times of the day and night.

                We both shared the same dream, sharing the rest of our lives with a loved one. On August 8th I took a road trip to SC to meet Donna for the first time. I never drove for more than an hour since my MS, I made the 650 mile trip in 12 hours (Due to traffic), over a two day period. When we first met in her complex parking lot, it was, Love at first site. I stayed for two weeks, and our love intensified daily. Donna will be flying up to PA, this month for a extended visit. So a new relationship is a reality for the both of us.

                I will follow up with additional updates as they evolve.

                ** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **


                  OH WOW!!
                  This is really very exciting to hear (I guess I mean read?).
                  I truly hope this will become the love relationship of your (BOTH of you!) dreams!
                  I have loads of questions but I'm sure most are the same that both of you are asking yourselves. I'm sure it will take some time to figure out the logistics and all of that, ya'know- families, future living arrangements, what will happen if someones pet(s) and/or kids/siblings...etc...create grief for either of you. I SO hope any extended families are as excited for you both as I am!
                  Many SAFE travels to both of you and enjoy every moment!
                  (I'm so jealous- but I promise in a GOOD HAPPY way!)


                    ChristopherG, I'm over the moon and filled with joy to hear the exciting news! You're an inspiration to everyone here who has followed your journey from reinvention to finding love again. You're one lucky guy, but it took more than pure luck and you deserve every bit of it.